Would You Like a Vagina Mint?

October 12, 2009     Posted in Body

altoidsFirst there was douche. We let those commercials for vagina potpourri slide by, even though sucking out our precious woman fluids isn’t healthy. Then came the WaterWorks commercials, which literally advertise a mini showerhead you stick up your vaginal canal to rinse it (the technology was taken from chefs who use it to eliminate the odors of onions, fish and garlic. For real). Then wet wipes started popping up on toilet tanks nationwide. And now….the vagina mint.


By Brianna

Yes, an Altoid for your lady parts.

Linger, the company behind this crazy idea, has created a sweetened mint “which was created to flavor the secretions of a woman when she is sexually aroused.” This slow releasing tablet freshens your…er…vagina breath (?) for up to 60 minutes so that “your partner will want to spend more time tasting the new you.”

And all I have to say is…. well, I have a lot to say.

“The new you”?! This isn’t a new me, it’s the old me with a mint shoved up my cooter. This whole “women need to be super self conscious about their vaginas” thing is getting old. If you shower on a regular basis, your vagina and its odor are completely fine. The secretions are natural, and necessary to keep our lady parts healthy. And I think it’s about time we love our vaginas, and all the natural juices that come with them.

Not to mention that this tin of mints costs $8. Why don’t we just shove a stick of Spearmint up our vagina’s? A pack only costs 3 bucks and it would do the same thing. And since when have vagina’s become monsters with dragon breath and a set of vampire teeth ready to chomp away on a mint?

I say absolutely not, Linger. When men start Febreezing their balls pre-foreplay, we’ll consider mints for the lady parts. Until then, whoever is “spending time tasting me” will just have to suck it up (pun intended) and enjoy the old, me. Natural flavors and all.

16 Comments on "Would You Like a Vagina Mint?"

  1. alisha says:
    Mon, 12th Oct 200912:48 pm 

    agreed, I love my boyfriend and love to please him but I don't really see how his balls smell any better than my lady parts…

  2. Losita says:
    Mon, 12th Oct 20092:17 pm 

    Agreed!!!

  3. Darwin - New York Un says:
    Tue, 13th Oct 200912:45 pm 

    I think it's just solved by a shower… And proper hygiene down there.

  4. brielynnb says:
    Sat, 17th Oct 20099:12 am 

    Veryy good article ! I like the way you write, and it kept me laughing. I can't believe there is really a vagina mint… thats crazy !

  5. mollination says:
    Sat, 17th Oct 200910:13 am 

    this article cracked me up, I actually read it aloud to my boyfriend and he laughed too. That's a hard feat, woman!

  6. Kate says:
    Sun, 18th Oct 200910:47 am 

    amen to that!

  7. Ed says:
    Sun, 18th Oct 20092:37 pm 

    I am an amateur gynecologist, no professional training, just years of on the job experience. If a woman has stinky snatch, she probably has a yeast infection. Feeding sugars to a yeast infection only makes it worse, turning stinky snatch into rotten crotch. Use some Monistat to clear it up, not crotch candy.

  8. Dan says:
    Sun, 18th Oct 20096:42 pm 

    Ed: what exactly is an amateur gynecologist? Anyway, I have a question – my girlfriend has a yeast infection as well, but I know enough about chemistry to know that a byproduct of yeast's sugar conversion is C02 and alcohol. So far I have told her not to wash it because I am planning on eventually making moonshine with it. My question is, will I be able to harvest the alcohol in time or will she just absorb it and get drunk?

  9. Jennifer says:
    Tue, 20th Oct 20094:13 am 

    Some hilarious comments here! Very funny, guys!!!! LMMFVO!!!!

  10. Billie says:
    Tue, 20th Oct 20099:46 am 

    still cracking up!!!

  11. Destinii says:
    Fri, 23rd Oct 20097:33 pm 

    LMFAO… Im still laughing at Dan and Ed… you guys should be best friends.

  12. Harsh says:
    Sun, 25th Oct 20098:42 pm 

    Very funny guy Ho amazing

  13. Rachel says:
    Mon, 26th Oct 20099:28 am 

    …not to mention that sticking sugar in your vagina will likely lead to a yeast infect, which makes things far stinkier.

  14. naturegirl1 says:
    Sun, 31st Jan 201012:02 pm 

    I once had an aquaintance who got a boyfriend to eat a Snickers bar out of her love tunnel….but that's another story!

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