Just when I had thought society had told it’s last ‘women in the kitchen’ joke, the children’s toy “My Cleaning Trolley” labeled “Girls Only” was released.
At first I was offended at the sight of the pink cart filled with cleaning supplies that seemed to advocate an outdated ideal of a woman’s place in the household, but then I began to look on the bright side. Imagine having this cleaning trolley, complete with 11 pieces of cleaning glory, available for use in your dorm room. It’s small, compact and pink. I’m loving it.
This made me think about some other kid’s toys that could come in handy for the college lifestyle. Take for example, the Easy-Bake Oven. Genius. Dorm rules state no hot plates in the room, but nowhere on that list does it say no Easy-Bake Oven. Suckers. The delicacies that I produced as a young child have stayed with me over the years, and I now yearn more than ever for a freshly baked chocolate cake. In minutes. Post bar. If you’re a real entrepreneur, you could start your own dorm room bakery and sell your treats for beer money that week.
Are you sick and tired of trekking around campus on foot. Aren’t there days that you just want to wear a great pair of heels without having to worry about pedaling a bike? It doesn’t matter what anyone says, you don’t look cool with your pant leg tucked into your socks as you zoom across campus on a mountain bike. But you know what will look cool? Cruising to the library in your shiny, pink open-air Jeep Barbie car. But beware, I believe it’s still possible to get a DUI in a children’s toy.
Do you remember those huge bouncy balls with the handle that your parents let you go wild on until you inevitably fell off and sustained brutal injuries? Those were the best. Well that bouncy ball is not only a bundle of fun, but also a great exercise tool for your run of the mill door room workout routine. Get thighs of steel without ever leaving your room.
Lastly, for those with money-worries, never fear! The Deluxe Children’s ATM was created as the new-age piggy bank for the penny-pinching child. It comes with an ATM card and a personal pin number that activates the machine and you can withdraw and deposit funds as you see fit. So the next time you are trying to order drunk pizza but realize you spent all your cash at the bars, don’t panic. You’ve got your own money machine at your disposal.
So it looks like I know what items I’ll be asking for on my Christmas list this year. My mom never expected to be making a trip to Toys-R-Us when her child reached the ripe old age of 22. But you’re only as young as you feel, and I’ll feel a lot better when I’m blaring tunes down Campus Dr. in my Barbie Car.