When I was 13 years old, I dressed up as a homemade Christmas tree for Halloween. I was covered from head to toe in ornaments and Christmas lights. The battery pack was held securely in my underwear, which made for awkward and slightly dangerous times in the bathroom. Regardless, I was a-glow in the Christmas/Halloween spirit and I looked stunning.
Recalling my Halloweens past, my costumes of choice were a far cry from what teens these days are wearing. And what is it they are slipping into on Halloween? Not bunny costumes or scary ghouls. No, upon perusing the aisles at my local Halloween store I learned that the middle schoolers are taking a hint from their big sisters/Paris Hilton and getting into the spirit…of looking skanky.
It took me until my freshman year of college to embrace the sexy, slutty side of the holiday. And while I may have been a late bloomer, the pre-teen purchasing “Striped Prison Girl aka Mis-Behaved” is DEFINITELY ahead of her time.
I always thought this generation’s youth was one step ahead of the awkward curve with the invention of the straightening iron and a slightly more advanced sense of fashion. (We’ve all seen Suri Cruise in those great kitten heels.) But then they see their precious Hannah Montana posing nude on the cover of a magazine and doing a pole dance on stage, and so the door was shut on the age of modesty.
And opened wide on the age of showing their lady parts in exchange for Twix bars.
For every 12 year old I see this Halloween dressed as a street-walking Little Red Riding Hood, I will say a prayer. What child’s parents are letting them walk out of the house looking like they’re cruising for more than just candy? I hope they at least put a can of Mace in their trick-or-treat bag to ward off child molesters and Roman Polanski.