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Tuffy Luv Sez: Back That Weiner Up
October 20, 2009 Posted in Advice, Relationships, Sex
Question for La Tuff?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get that it answered proper!
Dear Tuffy Luv,
My boyfriend wants to have sex all the time. At first I was OK with it but now I just want to hang out sometimes. We still go on dates but its like he needs to have sex every single day. I’m stressed out! This is a busy semester for me – sometimes I just don’t feel like it! How can I tell him without hurting his feelings?
Thanks Tuffy!
Tired
Dear Tired,
Repeat after me: Get your goddamn hands off of me.
Okay, sorry kids. Aunt Tuffy is having a busy couple of weeks herself so the idea of some dude forcing his overactive weewee on someone who is too tired to do it right now, goddammit–well, it makes Aunt Tuffy a little tired herself.
But, back to you.
In any case, Tired, I’m sure he’s not doing it on purpose. The fact that he still wants to go on dates and everything is reassuring. If, like, he just wanted to have sex and DIDN’T want to do the whole dating this anymore, well, then I’d say the guy is cheating or just biding his time. But that doesn’t sound like the case here.
Okay, so, seriously, just say no. I know that sounds overplayed, but it really works. Tell him firmly, “baby, I’m tired, but I think you’re really hot and I can’t wait to do it tomorrow” (or whenever). The next day, when he isn’t so worked up, sit him down and explain that you’re really stressed out and you need some cuddle time (non-sex time) too.
Look, sex is a production. Whether we like it or not, it takes a lot of energy. He’s gotta understand that you’re not always in the mood just because he is.
But, to be fair, he has needs too. So if you refuse sex, make sure you give him something back: a massage or perhaps some smaller, less exhausting sexual favor.
And remember, kids, always use condoms. Or else Aunt Tuffy will eat your face.
Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv
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Rochelle says:
Tue, 20th Oct 20097:22 pm
Shouldn't be having sex if you aren't married. Get a clue. Problem solved.
Star says:
Tue, 20th Oct 20097:45 pm
That's only your (wrong) opinion therefore it holds no merit in this discussion. Problem solved. I think you're just trying to make people mad so I doubt you'll answer, but if you are a serious person posting on here then what magical event occurs after marriage that suddenly makes sex such a clean and pure activity that is now appropriate?
maria says:
Tue, 20th Oct 20097:52 pm
Um. That's not good common sense Rochelle. What if you're into certain sexual things your man isn't into? It would suck being a switch or like the handcuffs and your man is vanilla. Or say he just was freaky as hell wanting other things, imagine if he was one of those ppl who had a thing for urine and you weren't!!! The key is to always be comfortable with what you're doing and have proper protection.
Remember kids, if you play it safe and keep to what is comfortable for you, go for it. The most you'll have to worry about is if you have uber religious family members who don't like it. Have some myself, but their opinions don't count unless you have to live with them.
Rochelle says:
Wed, 21st Oct 20097:43 pm
Since when is having premarital sex ok? It destroys relationships and can only cause harm to a relationship. Sex is only for married people. It is only for married people for a reason.
Star says:
Wed, 21st Oct 200910:43 pm
And what reason is that?
Lisa says:
Sat, 24th Oct 200910:16 am
Um…Rochelle…if sex will destroy relationships…then shouldn't you get it out of the way befoooore you get married? Then you don't have to do that evil divorce thing
Nellie says:
Fri, 29th Jan 20102:30 pm
What kind of idiot just does what people want them to do even though they don't want to? A push-over, that's what kind.
Don't be a stupid, spineless pushover. Problem solved, as our blind follower friend Rochelle puts it.
Girls in this country have a big problem. You read all this stuff about them really wanting to be sexy or thin or whatever. Wake up, girls. You are screwing yourselves out of a good life by buying into this fake bullshit, and you are the only ones to blame.