Ask A Dude: Can I Call Him?

Hey Dude,
Could you clue me into “boy world”? I have been told (thank you He’s Just Not That Into You and pretty much every romance book and movie out there) that the guy needs to do the asking. So we very impatient girls need to give out our numbers and take theirs and then not call them.

This is so, so hard to do. Say you meet a guy and dance, hook up, and talk to him. He seems majorly into you, you exchange numbers and then doesn’t call. Yes, I know that he’s probably just not that into me, but is it really wrong to call or text him? And the three day rule – do guys actually know and abide by it or are all of these things that girls made up?

Thanks so much!
-Danielle

Dearest Danielle (I love alliteration…),

Look, here’s the truth: guys don’t always use the most brain power when it comes to potential relationships (or many other things, for that matter).

There is no such thing as the “3 day rule”…it’s actually the 24 hour rule. Most guys will try and wait a full day before calling you. But if he doesn’t follow up it doesn’t always mean that he didn’t have a good time. It might mean that his “shiny monkey syndrome” has simply kicked in (i.e. he has been distracted by any number of things: his new iPhone…Halo ODST… or Sunday night kick-off). I know that most women rationalize and think, “he must be so busy with work,” and the truth is, sometimes this really is the case. Then again, you have to prepare yourself for the fact that what he’s working on is a female, in which case, don’t waste your time.

I personally think there is nothing wrong with a confidant, sexy girl calling me a couple of days after a date.  While it’s true that if a guy is into you, he will make the time and effort to call right away, it’s also true that there are some men with cases of life ADD who simply suck at follow up. But if you are gonna make the first move, it’s important to read the clues properly. If the guy acts vague, un-interested, doesn’t push to create new plans, doesn’t reciprocate on “how much fun” you had… then don’t waste any more time or energy.

Just remember to keep initial contact intimate in the beginning stages of dating (that means in person meet-ups or phone calls only). Save the texting, email and Facebook for later (you don’t want to be psychoanalyzing every misinterpreted social cue and unspoken innuendo before you even know if he likes you). And in the end, if a guy does dig you… he will start to show it (he just might need a kick in the ass to get him going).

That’s all I got,

Dude

[Got a question for El Dude? Ask it: askthedude@collegecandy.com. He won't sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. He'll be 100% real dude, 100% of the time. So bring it on, ladies.]