Halloween Costumes for the Procrastinators Of The World
Somewhere between midterms and fall parties and oversized flannel shirts paired with black leggings tucked into slouchy crochet style Uggs, it hits you. It’s Halloween crunch time. One morning you roll out of bed and realize your roommates have already perfected their Village People getup, your best friend and her boyfriend are pop culture referencing the shiz out of Taylor and Kanye, and your pseudo-fratty neighbors have their imitation silk Wal-Mart robes ready to make Hugh Hefner proud.
But with T-minus 36 hours to arguably the biggest party night (week?) of the year, you got nothing. Eff. You need to throw something awesome together fast.
Here’s a quick list of insta-costumes, all using stuff you probably have in your closet already or can snap up at Target on the cheapsies.
Super Hero: Mid-drift baring Wonder Woman costumes are so overdone. And also $60. Ouch. Save yourself the cash and the killer ab workout and opt for bright swimsuit bottoms over leggings, topped with a cami or another snug-fitting top. Decorate with your monogram in masking tape or Google image search a cause—maybe you’ll be super pizza bagel girl, or captain celebrity gossip. Complete the look with one of those thick workout headbands; fashion a cape from a sheet, or make a run to the fabric store for something snazzier. Wear boots and recruit sidekicks.
Beyonce: This one may take a little more effort (and guts) but if you got it, work it. You can pick up a black leotard at Wal-Mart, or any dance supply store. From there, all you need is a gaudy ring, tall heels, taller hair (great time to break out the Bump It) and YouTube dance moves. Convince the boyf, or another suitable male, to go as Jay-Z. Otherwise, live it up as a single lady. Hello, Sasha Fierce.
Toga: Nothing screams stereotypical college party like a toga. (Ok, maybe a keg stand, but that’s not really the point here, OK?) There’s a reason those Animal House guys rocked out with their sheets out – toga’s are easily the simplest last minute costume known to co-ed kind. It’s a classic, and though you won’t get any creativity points, it’s still a very respectable choice. Spice up your linens with gold jewelry and this summer’s gladiator sandals. Hey, it’s the perfect excuse to pick up a sale pair during the off-season.
Barbie: Sure, she isn’t exactly a role model, but neither is the slutty flight attendant next to you. What Barbie lacks in realistic proportions, she makes up for in recognizable attributes, perfect for last minute costumes. Pull on something pink, break out that Beyonce bump it, and carry a hot pink hairbrush. If you can pull it off, speak in high-pitched catch phrases for most of the night and maybe that Ken doll lookalike will invite you back to the dream house. Consider renting a hot pink Ferrari.
Hey, You Look Familiar: Pick one of your friends with an especially unique, memorable style. Raid their closet. Develop their mannerisms. Make out with their boyfriend? Depends on your level of commitment. This costume works best if your friend has a high profile and a good sense of humor.
Balloon Boy: We were all waiting for one more piece of culture to pop and we got it just in time for Halloween. All you really need is a giant balloon wrapped in tinfoil and perhaps a Tupperware to barf into when you’re being interviewed on national television. Easy peasy.
All right dear readers, help some sisters out. What’s the best last minute costume you’ve ever pulled off? Any stories of impromptu get-ups gone wrong?