Comments on: I’m Torn: Making The First Move http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/ Advice on student style, collegiate dating discussion guides, relationship advice and women's studies. Sat, 26 May 2012 12:15:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Danielle http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/#comment-74173 Thu, 08 Apr 2010 01:59:08 +0000 http://collegecandy.com/?p=44561#comment-74173 AHHHHH I'm kind of in the same situation right now.. I've hung out with this guy 6 times now and he hasn't made a move yet.. just given me hugs when saying "HI" and "BYE" It's tough because I really like him but I don't want to go for the kiss just yet.. maybe just lean on his shoulder while watching a movie, or even try holding his hand and see how he reacts..This is a tough one.. he's hard to read!! He's asking many questions to get to know me so sounds like he's interested but ahhhh very frustrating!! Any suggestions?

]]> By: Victoria http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/#comment-63862 Sat, 02 Jan 2010 21:05:38 +0000 http://collegecandy.com/?p=44561#comment-63862 Alright… girl I am in your exact same position. There's this guy I've been talking to for FOUR MONTHS (capitalized because it feels like an eternity) and nothing has happened. We talk all the time, flirt like crazy, and I'm pretty sure he likes me but he's never said anything. Reading all these responses, I'm sort of thinking that making the first move and asking him if he's interested is the only way anything can/will happen. If he doesn't like me, oh well. I tried. I might lose a good friendship, but that's life. So, take these people's advice and go for it because nothing so terrrible can happen besides him saying no to a date or that he's sorry but he doesn't share your feelings. You'll be over him in five minutes. Good luck!

]]> By: lola http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/#comment-61750 Sun, 06 Dec 2009 08:41:22 +0000 http://collegecandy.com/?p=44561#comment-61750 Make the move! I was just in the same box last night and I decided to make the move. He wasn't interested but you know what? We only live once and I don't feel like waiting for things to happen! Just take a deep breath. If he says no, well it hurts, I won't lie, but at least your not wasting your time right?

Good luck :D

]]> By: Rae http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/#comment-59857 Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:07:45 +0000 http://collegecandy.com/?p=44561#comment-59857 Despite my equalist views (that's the gender-equal term for "feminist" by the way), I'd never made the first move with guys before- I was always too afraid of rejection. In fact, friends of mine often had to intervene to push the guy and me together since he was usually just as shy with this sort of thing (oddly enough, most of the guys, like me, are actually outgoing in all other situations). This year though, my junior year, I finally got to a point with this one guy where I just forced myself to suck it up and flat-out ask him if he was interested. I nearly hyperventilated while waiting for a response (since I sent him a text after being too afraid to ask in person), but when I heard back from him, I was pleasantly surprised! It's still early days, but we never would've even gotten to this point if I hadn't said something- guys go through the same fear/anxiety/defense mechanism thing we go through, so SOMEONE has to be willing to try. There's absolutely no reason it can't be you. Go for it- either way, it's going to let you know where you stand and put you in a better position overall.

]]> By: the violator http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/#comment-59265 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:33:04 +0000 http://collegecandy.com/?p=44561#comment-59265 yeh, the refusal/fear to make the 1st move is a prime example of why many women do not succeed as leaders or ever get into the position to lead in the real world to begin with.

gotta have some guts ladies. more often than not when you ask the guy out, you will be pleasantly surprised.

]]> By: Kevin http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/#comment-59141 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:04:20 +0000 http://collegecandy.com/?p=44561#comment-59141 I say go for it and make a move. Personally, I believe the most attractive thing about any woman is confidance and the ability to display it. That goes from walkin with posture to knowing what you want and just figuring out the way to get there. Try a change and take a step out of your comfort zone and go for it. If it works out, enjoy every last moment. But if it doesnt, dont be hard on yourself – you tried something new and learned from it. Believe it or not, some guys are shy too when it comes to a girl he likes, and you'll never know unless you find out for urself :)

]]> By: Weekly Wrap Up: Happy Halloween! : College Candy http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/#comment-58740 Sat, 31 Oct 2009 14:02:41 +0000 http://collegecandy.com/?p=44561#comment-58740 [...] trousers. You’ve got to be careful that you know how to get rid of full-face makeup before you make a move on that chubby but hilarious cutie in the SuperJew costume. You’ve also got to remember to watch [...]

]]> By: Kyle http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/#comment-58719 Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:28:55 +0000 http://collegecandy.com/?p=44561#comment-58719 Speaking for me personally, asking someone out is just as fraught with anxiety and self doubt as it probably is for most women. Hell, there's a girl I've known forever, we're great friends and I'd love to take it to the next level. But all the same questions the writer is having apply to me just as well.

It's tough out there for everyone.

]]> By: Jenny http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/#comment-58389 Tue, 27 Oct 2009 10:33:47 +0000 http://collegecandy.com/?p=44561#comment-58389 I almost always make the first move, and it's worked out pretty well for me in the past. :) I say go for it! What do you have to lose? If he does share your feelings, he'll be elated that you said something. If he doesn't, then at least you'll know now and now weeks or months from now. Good luck!

]]> By: Rachel http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/26/im-torn-making-the-first-move/#comment-58385 Tue, 27 Oct 2009 08:08:52 +0000 http://collegecandy.com/?p=44561#comment-58385 Dear Tom. You are an idiot. Life is much more complicated than that. Why don't YOU go read a book, and stop hanging around forums meant for girls, deluding yourself that you know everything there is to know about people you've never met. In conclusion, fuck off. (And no, I'm not bitter – I am actually very happy with someone who I got with after I made the first move. So don't be discouraged girls!!!)

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