Gossip Girl: Queen Jenny Takes Her Throne

Remember when Jenny Humphrey was just a cool, normal chick from Brooklyn? You know, before she dropped out of school to become a punk rock fashion designer and well before she became the biggest bitch on the UES?

She’s come a long way since those days. And even though she’s sporting over-sized t-shirts and men’s ties instead of bedazzled headbands, Jenny Humphrey is quickly surpassing Blair Waldorf as the meanest Queen in school. Yeah, we all thought she could live in both worlds – sweet Jenny at home and big, scary Jenny on the steps – but she proved us all wrong. First she demands almonds without the skin and then she dumps a perfectly good yogurt on her brother?

WTF, Jenny? There are starving children in Africa! You get twelve shopping bags from Bergdorf’s and suddenly you have no respect for the people who care about you most?  Seriously, girl, get a clue. And a hairbrush. Those extensions are lookin’ a little, well, nappy.

And speaking of evil-doers, let’s take a trip to Chuck Bass’s new world. The world that was almost ruined by selfish, needy Blair. The guy only has 24 hours to make his hotel a giant success – standard – and Blair’s ego gets in the way, almost costing him everything. Not that anyone had any doubt in Chuck’s abilities. Those eyes, that hair, that cute hat and suit combo… er…I mean, he’s smart and business savvy just like his daddy-o, so obviously he’d pull everything together and have the hottest hotel in NYC in under 24 hours.

I mean, that’s normal for a rich 18-year-old, right?

Luckily, everyone got out of the busted party unscathed (and Serena even picked up a new boy-toy!). If only it were that easy in the real world where I’ve found myself tearing off my heels and running through the bushes to get away from the PoPo that has come in search of under-age imbibers. I’d much rather have my photo taken by a bunch of paparazzi like Dan and Olivia than hide out in a bathroom until the police finally head out.

And going home with a mega moviestar wouldn’t be so bad, either. Although, I don’t know about you, but if I were Dan I’d feel less than excited to bump and grind with a talented actress like Olivia. I mean that girl does sex scenes for a living. With her hot Hollywood ex boyf. If anyone can fake an orgasm it’s her. Let’s hope not-so Lonely Boy is a little more adventurous between the sheets than he is in real life.

Who am I kidding? That kid looks about as vanilla as they come. My money is on a lack of bedroom sparkage. We all know Hillary isn’t going to be a permanent fixture on GG, so I’m betting it’s Dan’s bedroom boredom that sends this A-lister packing.

We’ll just have to wait and find out next week. With the entire group in a tizzy (Eric hates Jenny, Serena hates Nate and Blair, Blair hates the world), things are going to get even more exciting. I just hope someone puts Jenny in her place. With some eggs. To her face.

You know you love the dramz,

XOXO
GGGGR