Ask A Dude: Exiting the Friend Zone

Hey Dude,

How the heck do you get out of the friend zone? It seems like everyone thinks it is only a problem for guys but girls go through the same problem as well. I have a guy friend for a few years now and I would love for it to be something more. He is a definition of a player and basically can get whoever he wants. He hooks up with so many girls – he even hooked up with my twin sister last week!

The thing is, we have a good friendship – he makes me laugh and I feel like I can tell him anything. We are very flirty, but then again, he flirts with everyone. We have been in situations where we could of hooked up, but he never made a move. He is not friends with many girls. Honestly, I think I am the closest girlfriend he
has. I just really would love to see if I can turn this into something more. Help!!

-Sick of the Friend Zone

Dear Road Kill (Sorry, but that’s a more appropriate title),

Ok, this may sound a little bit harsh, but it’s exactly what you need to hear.

Ready? Here we go.

This situation is kind of like standing in front of an oncoming truck, and making absolutely no effort to move out of the way. Hello? What do you think is going to happen? If this guy had every opportunity to hook up with you because of your looks, your laughs and your personality, and instead he hooked with up with your twin sister?…that, my friend, is called a problem. Yes, it could be because he secretly has a deeper respect, affection, and deeply burning passion for you and you alone, but more than likely he is exactly as you described him: a player.

Women are smart (much smarter than men most of the time), but when it comes to taking your own advice, you’re sometimes about as quick as the Girls Next Door in a biomechanical engineering exam. Listen, you said it loud and clear: he fools around. He hooks up with chicks all the time (and you’re not one of them). He even takes a dip in your personal gene pool, and yet…you’re still considering this guy?

Do me (and every other woman in the world) a giant favor and wise up. If he makes a great friend and you enjoy good times together, keep it as such…but don’t waste your time hoping he’s a diamond in the rough, when he probably is enjoying every second of being rough as hell. Move on to a guy who will love you for you, never go near your sister (or any other member of your family tree for that matter), and can make you laugh while keeping it in his pants. And when in doubt, re-read your question. The answer is right there in your own words.

Walk away.

–Dude

[Got a question for El Dude? Ask it: askthedude@collegecandy.com. He won't sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. He'll be 100% real dude, 100% of the time. So bring it on, ladies.]