Facebook Characters That We Love

October 28, 2009     Posted in HaHa

hugging computer copy

I love you, Photo Tagger.

The writers over at The Ultimate Hatelist composed a list of the Top 10 Most Hated People on Facebook: The Constant Status Updater, Facebook Couples, People Who Post Little Pictures… Clearly, we agree with them. Those girls with the freakin’ peace-sign-and-pouty-lip pics (of course we never do that in pictures!) and the people who actually pay for Facebook gifts (you’re throwing away money on a birthday cupcake floating in cyberspace during economic times like this?!) should go back where they belong: MySpace.


By Brianna

But we got to thinking, and while there are those people who we want to punch right through the computer screen every time we load up our NewsFeed (read: every 4 minutes), there are also some that we truly love. Those who make our Facebook experience what it is. Those we can’t get enough of and know Facebook just wouldn’t be the same without.

The Comedian
I appreciate a witty saying every now and then, and when I sign on to Facebook to procrastinate I’d like to be greeted with a laugh, not some vague song lyric begging for attention/Facebook gifts. Which is why I love the comedian. He’s funny, he’s quick on his feet and he always has a funny status update or video posted for me to enjoy. This guy is a real pal, bringing a little happiness to hours of homework and studying.

The Girl Who Never Left Home
When you’re having one of those God awful weeks where you bombed a test, fought with your boyfriend and realized you have no idea what you want to do with your life, stalking this girl always makes you feel better. While everyone else left home only to return on holiday breaks, she’s still living in her parent’s basement, getting fat at the same deli you ate at for four years of off-campus lunch, and parties with the coolest of the cool…high school seniors. Seeing her life makes you feel a whole lot better about yours. It might be mean, but it’s true.

The Facebook Album Addict
You may not be close friends with her (and this character is always a her), but you know her well enough to end up in some of her many pictures from last night’s epic party. The same pictures she uploaded, tagged and captioned the moment she got home. At 3am. While you were out eating breadsticks. Not only do you not have to bring your camera out with you (and risk dropping it in a pitcher of beer….again), but all you have to do is log in to Facebook to see your entire college experience documented in photos instantaneously. Without the hassle of tagging yourself. What a gem.

Your Friend’s Parents
Your parents on Facebook? Annoying. Your friends’ parents on Facebook? Hilarious. You get to watch them post embarrassing comments on pictures of your friends doing keg stands (“Looks like you take after your father”) and all decked out in a little black dress (“Put some clothes on missy! Love, mom.”). And when they upload that pic of your friend squeezed between Grandma and Aunt Ruth at the family reunion? Priceless.

The Chronic Commenter
Why else do we write a status if not for other people to read it? And whether the status requires a response of laughter, consolation or congratulations, the chronic commenter always has your back. You never have to worry that your status will go unacknowledged and into the deep Status abyss; it will always be “liked” by at least one person, and sometimes, when we’re laughing to ourselves while posting it, that’s all were asking for.

The Party Girl
You thought you were fun but this girl is obviously the party queen and she has 400 albums to prove it. Maybe you think it’s annoying that she uploaded a million pictures, but I think scrolling though drunken party pics is a whole lot more entertaining than reading about Kant’s moral philosophy. So snap away, party girl, snap away. And if there are a couple pouty-face-peace-signs in there, I’ll let them go. I’m just grateful to have something to keep me from having to study.

That Bitch Who Stole Your Boyfriend
But only when that beautiful pink broken heart shows up in your NewsFeed accompanied by depressing song lyrics and vague statements about trust and pain and falling in love.

What other characters do you guys love on Facebook?

22 Comments on "Facebook Characters That We Love"

  1. Casey says:
    Wed, 28th Oct 200910:06 am 

    Ha ha! I love all of these! I'm usually the comedian, cause I like to give people something to smile about, but my entire family is on facebook so I'm also "the friend with the parents" My Catholic mom and all 5 of her Christian sisters are on facebook along with all my cousins (who are all at least 10 years older than me) and all of my boyfriends uber Christian aunts and cousins. Luckily MY family loves each other enough not to judge what I do, and they even leave awkward/funny comments like "I remember when I used to do that sorta stuff back in the 70's" and I can always expect to log on and find myself tagged in yet another Disney World photo from when I was 7 wearing totally hideous mismatched early 90's tourist clothes complete with a fanny pack and bandanna. Or a baby pic of me falling asleep with my fingers in my nose. My boyfriends family, on the other hand, no matter how "Christian" they claim to be judge the crap out of each other and as soon as I upload the pictures from an amazing night of debauchery I know I'll get a call from my bf's sister-in-law saying "guess what the families saying about you now!" and then we have a good laugh about it.

    Oh and I love the chronic commenter! They make you feel like someone cares.

  2. a says:
    Wed, 28th Oct 200911:53 am 

    I bet you are the comedian Casey! You are just TOO funny.

  3. hannah says:
    Wed, 28th Oct 200912:04 pm 

    stfu casey

  4. Casey says:
    Wed, 28th Oct 200912:08 pm 

    well at least we know who's NOT the comedian in a and hannah's facebook networks.

  5. Zoe says:
    Wed, 28th Oct 200912:15 pm 

    Leave Casey alone guys. If you really don't like what she as to say, don't read it.

    The world has enough problems without you two becoming petty about a College Candy post!

  6. Zoe says:
    Wed, 28th Oct 200912:17 pm 

    If I could make an addition – I'm not really sure what you would call this kind of status update, perhaps the Philosopher?

    When I go on FB and this guy always says something that makes me think – haha, or it's just really really random. Maybe that's cause he's high?

  7. Darwin - New York Un says:
    Wed, 28th Oct 200912:33 pm 

    I love being the comedian, it's a hard hard job though.

  8. Dia says:
    Wed, 28th Oct 20093:24 pm 

    i have a chronic commenter- shes great she makes my statuses less stupid and she also breaks the mold for others to pour in

  9. Beks says:
    Thu, 29th Oct 20095:19 pm 

    I don't find Casey's comments obnoxious, but what I do find obnoxious are all the needless comments pointing out the fact that she's commenting. No wonder Casey doesn't like befriending girls, look at how they treat each other.

    I'm with Zoe, my favorite is "The Philosopher", they always have some stimulating quote or question to really get the wheels turning.

  10. Vanessa says:
    Sat, 31st Oct 20099:35 pm 

    Casey is a jackass.

  11. Jamie says:
    Sun, 1st Nov 20092:11 pm 

    I love the girl/guy that always posts the pictures of OTHER PEOPLE! the ones that make my night from before look like i went to church. :D

  12. Sara Broers says:
    Mon, 2nd Nov 20099:39 am 

    Love this- so true! I can see myself and my friends in each of these categories. Very nice one……

  13. thanx says:
    Tue, 3rd Nov 20091:18 am 

    thanxx facebook friend
    http://healthlifes.org

  14. heather says:
    Tue, 3rd Nov 20097:48 pm 

    Ugh, my parents recently joined facebook (they even had me help them… what was I supposed to do?!?); so far it's only my mum who's been leaving embarrassing wall-posts, but it's just a matter of time. Oy.

  15. Elle says:
    Wed, 4th Nov 20099:16 pm 

    I think this article is so funny! Casey, I'm like you too! I love to make people smile. My absolute favorite though is to see the friends that are succeeding and actually exceeding your expectations from life after high school. I guess its the go-getter. Seeing my friends go places in their lives is encouraging to me, also….you can't help but love drunk pics.

  16. Willie Shagghr says:
    Sun, 27th Feb 20112:50 pm 

    Not everyone hates Willie Shagghr? i have been on facebook for 4 yrs now and my fun page was up to 5.000 friends… now its about 170 after being deactivated 3 times by facebook … try out my fb page you will love Willie too…. if you like sexist comments and some hanky panky Lol!!!!!!

    There is a chance im one of the names that is most hated …

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