Darwin - New York Un says:
Wed, 4th Nov 20092:35 pm 

Dropping a guy after a week or two… What did he ever do wrong? Seems like a lose/lose situation for him.

He says he wants to take it somewhere, then he's moving too fast because you two have only been hanging out and you simply stayed over at his place once.

He says he doesn't want to make it anything official yet, then he's a player and you're just a booty call.

It's so rough for guys out there…

Play it by ear. It's one thing if he starts ignoring you and doesn't show any effort in seeing if it will go anywhere. It's another if he does and puts in the time.

Angeline says:
Sat, 3rd Jul 201011:28 pm 

Dear Sanaa – get rid of Michael. Problem solved.

Sanaa says:
Sun, 4th Jul 20101:40 am 

Dear Dude,

Ok so here goes, I been with this Michael for almost 8yrs. The first 2-3yrs of the realtionship were magic, on our one year anniversary he asked me to marry him, i said yea but that we would need to work at getting things set up first. Then in our 4th year he cheated on me. He said he thought that we had broken up, went to a mates and got drunk and ended up foolin round with another friends ex for a few days, all the time i was tryind to get hold of him.
So when i finally got hold of him he said it was all a mistake, that he was sorry and only did it coz he thought we had broken up…..*dont know where he got that from*. So neways he told me they only fooled round, and that he didnt sleep with her because he loved me. I feel into deep depression and became suicidal.
I really love him but i was hurt so i said i needed space. We ewre apart for a good few months before i decided to try resolve things. I tried really had but just couldnt seem to get past it because i didnt feel like he made enough of an effort to make up for what he had done, and to work at getting us back to where we were. SO after a year or so i left him and got into another relationship. This guy offered me everything i had ever dreamed of but i just coouldnt help thinking of wishing he was Michael. After about 6months i left him and went back to Michael.
We hit it off straight away but after a few months Michael became different, not as loving, caring and committed as i had hoped. After few years Michael began spending alot of time with his friends and having no time for me. He would always tell me he loved me but that he was always tired from work and study. I could help but get really upset knowing that he used that excuse with me but no for his friends. So again i feel into deep depression and cheated on him. I know it was wrong and completely against my morals but i was soooo hurt and angry that he didnt seem to care about what he had done to me that i wanted to hurt him. So after the act i called him up, again he was with his friends and i told him that i had just cheated on him, that i did it on purpose and that i hoped he felt as i did.
We broke up and i stayed with the guy but still longed for Michael. After about 4months my family couldnt handle me downwood spiral and so they set up meeting with Michael. They invited him over and knew that i would crumble when i saw him. During the meeting he said that even with all that had happened he still loved me and that he was sorry for everything. We got back together and again for the first few months Michael was great but then again gets lazy, beings putting everyone and everything before me.
I forgot to mention that throughout the entire relationship every 3-4 months or so Michael tells me he wants to marry me yet wen any stept are taken to make that reality he freaks out and says its toooo soon, and that he want to do alot more in his life before he setles down.
Then last year i hit rock bottom and decided we really needed professional help and so i told him we needed to do sth, so we began couples counselling, and gave him an altumatum, commit before the end of the year or im leaving. He waited till the 30th of dec, took me for a drive to athurs seat and said “here is the ring, are you gonna put it on”.
Although i had wanted him to ask this was not how i had imagined the love of my lfe asking me to spend my life with him, i was devestated. I began planning a wedding anyway but then he freaked out and said he wanted to settle into uni first and then we would start planning. Then just before uni began he fell into his neglectful cycle and again i was on the bottom of his list, i confornted him about it and we ended up getting into a huge fight. He asked me for the engagment ring back and said we should have a break because he needed space. After about a month we started talking again and while we were watching a dvd at his place one of my mates sent me a message askin if i was single again and i said yes. Then Michael got upset and said he was read to get back together.
We have now been together for about 3 months or so again in on the back burner, his order of priorities is friends, uni, work and then me. I am no longer the person i used to be, i used to be soooo happy, full of life now im always depressed. I lost touch with many of my friends with i first got thgether with Michael and now feel really alone. I know i have people that love me and want to help and suppport me but i cant get over the fact that the one person i really want i dont feel like i have. Everytime i try to leave he tell me that he loves me and that if i stick with him and just wait until he has finished uni in 4 years then everything will be as we once planned.
Im really lost and confused, i really love him but cant help feeling life im self destructing in the process. Am i wasting my time waiting or should i wait for the one i love.
please help

Sanaa says:
Sun, 4th Jul 20104:18 am 

would love to hear more suggestions. I really love his, is there anything i can do to fix this??? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation???