Comments on: Coupled. Where Are We Spending The Holidays?

By: Duke It Out: Home for the Holidays with Him : College Candy

Duke It Out: Home for the Holidays with Him : College Candy — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:01:06 +0000

[...] part of your life, so it makes sense that at this loving, sharing time of the year to try and bring the two together – or does [...]

By: Sara

Sara — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:56:37 +0000

We've been together for (on and off) 8 years now (4 1/2 years straight). My mom passed 5 years ago, my grandpa passed 3 years ago, and my dad almost passed 3 years ago. Lately my dad hasn't been too confident about hanging around in this world. Since my mom passed, my bf and I have shared holidays with both families. This year would be my turn to spend with his but I'm concerned about not having another year with my dad or Grandma. My family is getting smaller sooner rather than later, while his keeps growing. I hate feeling selfish about this, but it's not like he's in any hurry to make US a family therefore I feel somewhat justified. I feel if we WERE married, our family would come first and we would be forced to choose how to split up the holidays – I told him how I felt and he's just hurt to not spend them with me. Our families are 2 hours apart, therefore the Thanksgiving 2 meal day isn't really an option. I hate not having moved to the next step, and at this point, I'd rather be there for my dad. Any words of encouragement?

By: Angela

Angela — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:11:16 +0000

I think your best choice is to start having vacations on your own, even if it costs you more. If you are worried about the budget then search through Elysian Holidays for your accommodation and you will get a reasonable price for a fully equipped holiday vacation villa.

By: Tara

Tara — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:36:35 +0000

Um… I think we are life-twins. I also have a boyfriend named Matt, who I have been together with for a while. (Not 8 years, wow, congrats girl.) His parents are ALSO divorced, while mine are not. So I totally feel for you about having to add not just one, but TWO more christmas traditions to schedule. Also similar to you, (but opposite) Matt is spending Thanksgiving with my family this year. Which SHOULD mean I head over to one of his family’s celebrations for Christmas… right? But I am also feeling the tug of my childhood pulling me toward everything I know and love about the holidays in my family. Both of our families are pretty close to us, so traveling is not a factor for us fortunately. But Matt and I are deciding to spend Christmas Eve with our own families and then get together on Christmas Day. May I suggest finding a Christmas Day flight? After all, we are still pretty young. Let’s enjoy it while we can. If you truly believe you will have many more christmases with your Matt (and it sounds like you are well on your way) I say just enjoy being young and look forward to your future Christmases as a couple. You’ve got time. Good luck.

P.S. One last weird similarity… My Matt’s dad always gives us his season tickets to the MN Gopher games. Our boys sure to love football. Weird…

By: Maria

Maria — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:04:41 +0000

I don't think you should spend holidays awa from your family until you get married or living as such! you will at some point regret missing out your family…and if it ends up not working out you will be even more sorry! Plenty of years ahead to make compromises!

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:08:34 +0000

Honestly… you're spending one of the major holidays with his family (Thanksgiving)- I think he should be open to spending Christmas with your family. That's balanced. Otherwise I would say spend it with just your own families- I know you always must want to be with him, but if you guys get married one day you're not going to get to see you're own family so much… as a previous poster said, if you guys are really serious and might get married one day, why not just spend at least one of the holidays with your own family- you'll be living with him for the rest of your life if you guys get married (And that's a lot of Thanksgivings and Christmases to spend with him and his family:) ).

By: Danielle

Danielle — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:04:48 +0000

See I went to university in my hometown, so I figured I'd spend half of my winter break with my boyfriend who is in the Air Force this year. Yea I'll miss Christmas with my parents but as much as I love them every year there is always a family argument and I kinda end up feeling alone so I figured why not? As for you I say go home if you haven't been back in a while, your boyfriend can decide to come with or go visit his. *Note there is always the option of getting that tree, decorating it, and celebrating your (first?) Christmas together that way no one feels like you choose another family.

By: R

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 09:55:51 +0000

I don't know if you celebrate X-mas eve but my family spends x-mas eve night with my dads side and then x-mas day with my moms side. Maybe you could spend one day with our bf's dad and the other with your own family. It would be a ton of traveling though. But I also agree with Laura, you guys are not even married yet so maybe spending the holidays apart would be better and cheaper.

By: Kaila

Kaila — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:06:38 +0000

I've got it nice and easy, since holidays aren't that big of a deal with my fam, I go to my bfs house for thanksgiving then we spend christmas with our own seperate families. I don't really mind spending christmas apart.

By: mary

mary — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:35:56 +0000

me and my boyfriend split up for thanksgiving, and then all of our friends meet up later that night – we live pretty close to each other – same county. and then on the 24th, we hang out w/ each of our families during the day. my mom's bday is the 24th also so that adds to it, he comes over later that night and spends it with us. my family opens presents then, and then i spend christmas at his house. on new year's we hang out with our friends. this is going to be the 3rd year we've done it.

i recommend going home for christmas by yourself.