Who’s The Douchiest Dad of Them All?

douchey michael lohan

We all agree that Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck. But can we really blame her for being so messed-up when she’s had to deal with parents like Michael and Dina Lohan?

Michael has been acting especially awful lately—he keeps leaking recordings of phone calls with Lindsay and her mom to the media, supposedly because he’s worried about her. Right, because the best way to help your strung-out daughter is by releasing calls that you recorded without her knowledge to the national press, who have always been nothing but kind to her.

What a douche.

Thinking about Michael Lohan reminds us of other Hollywood dads who are certified d-bags. Jon Gosselin, Alec Baldwin, the Hoff… all of them are rich, famous, and majorly jerky. But which one of them deserves to be named the Douchiest Hollywood Dad of all? Tell us what you think in the poll below.

douchey jon gosselinJon Gosselin: Do we even need to list the reasons why this father of eight deserves to be named Douchemaster of the Century? His crimes against humanity are only made worse by the fact that he and M.Loh are apparently BFF. Shudder.

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david-hasselhoffDavid Hasselhoff: Remember the video from 2007 of The Hoff wasted out of his mind, eating a hamburger on the floor as his daughter begs him not to drink anymore? We do. Douchetastic.

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AlecBaldwinAlec Baldwin: We love Alec on 30 Rock, but that doesn’t change his awful parenting—he screamed at his daughter on her voicemail, saying that he didn’t care if she was “twelve years old, or eleven years old,” because she’s a “rude, thoughtless little pig.” Classy!

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douchey jude lawJude Law: Don’t you just love how the British tabloids once called the Oscar-nominated actor “Rude Law”? Having an affair with your children’s nanny while dating the smoking hot Sienna Miller is definitely not polite behavior; we’d expect more from a Brit. Plus, rumor has it this dad hasn’t even met his newest love-child. Good work, champ. Even Lil Wayne is less of a dead-beat than you.

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douchey billy rayBilly Ray Cyrus: Oh, Billy. First you pose creepily with Miley in Vanity Fair, and then you let little Noah Cyrus leave the house looking like a common prostitute. We don’t care how achey and breaky your heart is—that’s just wrong.

So which dad is the douchiest? You decide:

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6 Comments on "Who’s The Douchiest Dad of Them All?"

  1. Kristina says:
    Fri, 6th Nov 20093:26 pm 

    I kind of want to work the phrase “David Douchelehoff” into conversation now…

  2. Dude says:
    Sun, 8th Nov 20099:27 pm 

    Billy Ray Cyrus is by far and away the sickest MF’r on this list. The other guys are just shitty parents through neglect. Cyrus takes an active roles in his kids lives only hes actively trying to pimp them out…just a real sick creepy dude.

  3. Matt says:
    Wed, 11th Nov 20091:18 pm 

    What has Jon done to deserve the “crimes against humanity” label? He cheated on a soul sucking demon spawn of a wife who seemed to only operate to emasculate him and to make sure that every aspect of his life was her decision. Overbearing wives are just like abusive husbands, but nobody lashes out against women who cheat on an abusive husband……just a different perspective.

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