Gossip Girl: A Threesome, Really?

No, this photo is not of the 3some. Apparently the CW didn't think it appropriate to post those...

It was like any Monday night around here. I came back from the gym, had a little dinner, did a little reading and gathered with the roomies to watch some Gossip Girl. There was the usual Jenny drama (homegirl is such a bitch!), some witty banter, a funny ploy by Chuck to get Serena and Blair to make up (he just keeps getting dreamier)…and makeout, and ho-humness over at NYU.

But then, 35 minutes later, Olivia downed her shot of mysterious clear liquid and everything changed. (Including Hilary Duff’s clean-girl image!) First Olivia’s kissing Dan. Then Olivia’s kissing Vanessa. Then Dan is KISSING VANESSA!

Yes, this is the threesome we’ve been hearing about for a week now.

I know it’s not real. I know it’s TV. I know good and well that this isn’t some “Hills” situation where we’re supposed to think it’s real even though all signs point to fake (lips). But, still, I screamed. I screamed and I covered my eyes and I shied away from the TV until the scene was over. It was all just so…awkward. And uncomfortable. And shocking!

Was this the group of three that I was expecting to see getting it on? Hell no. And I’m pretty sure (even before I saw the scenes for next week, people!) that it’s not going to turn out well. I mean, I’m all for sexual experimentation, but, as Nate says, the third person should be a stranger…not your best friend who has been in love with you since you were playing in alleys in Brooklyn.

And I’d just like to say that I’ve never partook in a threesome…but I still think I’ve lived a very full, very real college life, thankyouverymuch.

I can’t wait to see Dan Humphrey try to get himself out of this one next week when some serious ish goes down in the East Village. Vanessa, having finally gotten a piece of the Humph, will realize that she loves him and start to annoy me even more than she already does, there will be tension between Olivia and Dan because they had a drunken threesome, and if Hilary Duff leaves the show, I may cry.  Drama to ensue.

But back to this week. The threesome wasn’t the biggest drama of the night. Not when it’s Cotillion season!

Is this a real thing? Do rich girls really start taking ballroom dance lessons when they’re young? Who knows, but it’s a really big deal to this group of high society high schoolers and Jenny is taking it the most seriously of all. Stepping on people’s toes (both literally and figuratively), pissing off Erik, waging war on Blair…. and then seeing all her hard work crash around her when her ticket to getting some respect (and possibly some booty from a pretty cute piece of UES man-meat) ends up arm in arm with someone else. Someone shorter, runette-r, more… hugable.

Sure, Jenny saves her reputation by dragging Nate into the whole mess (“A college guy!” Seriously, how dense are these girls? Don’t they know she used to date him? Isn’t that enough to get her some RESPECT? Whatever…), but that doesn’t change the fact that she has made herself a serious enemy. And his name is Erik. And he’s pissed. Not only did Jenny desert him, but she was the cause of his breakup with Jonathan (let’s pause for a moment to mourn this one) and there is no doubt in my mind that Erik is going to come back with his new little sidekick and wreak havoc on her thrown.

But does that new chick really have what it takes? You know, without Blair’s beauty assistance? We’ll have to wait and see.

Things to look forward to:  Blair and Serena have made up, so that means we can focus on Blair and Chuck sex scenes instead of Blair and Serena fight scenes.  Also, Serena has some serious tension (of the sexual nature, rawr!) with married congressman Tripp Vanderbilt.  But that might go on hold when she learns that Daddy finally wrote her back.

Things I’m dreading:  Everything about that threesome.  Especially the flashbacks that are sure to come next week. Oy.

We’ll see how this all comes crashing down next week.
You know you love them.

XOXO,
GGR