Single. For The First Time In a Long Time
November 13, 2009 4:00 pm Posted in Love
[Alright ladies, let's give a big CollegeCandy welcome (Read: raise those shot glasses!) to our new single lady! Her name is Emmy and she's a single gal living it up in Chi-town. She's hot, smart...and nowhere near ready to put a ring on it.]
Back in August, my mother and I were standing in Target debating exactly which organizational bins I would need for college when she turned to me and said, “Emmy, please don’t date anyone seriously at the beginning of college. I really don’t want you to get tied down too early.”
Alright, so this was a random topic of discussion for the Home Organization aisle of Target, but I still found myself taking my mom’s opinion seriously. After all, the woman knew her stuff when it came to under-bed storage, so surely she was a wise sage in all things relationship. The truth is, staying single for the beginning of college had been my plan anyway. I dated the same boy for the last three years of high school and being single is a relatively new experience for me. One that I am figuring out and not yet ready to give up. The breakup process was beyond painful, but now I am learning to really enjoy being a single girl.
Yes, sometimes I miss having that male shoulder perpetually there to cry on, and a standing date if there is nothing better to do on a Friday night. For the most part though, I just feel free. I am not always glued to my phone texting or talking to him. I have no one else’s opinion or schedule to take into account. I am not someone’s girlfriend, but rather a person in my own right. I don’t feel guilty when other guys ask me out. I can genuinely enjoy getting to know all the new people, boys included, that I am meeting with no qualms. Plus, it’s a lot more fun to go to parties when you are free to flirt and dance all you want. Then leave and share a large pizza with your girls.
I finally gained back the control over my own life that I didn’t even realize I’d given up. I just finished mapping out my four-year plan for college. It was so exciting, and I realized that at this point in my life, my academic ambitions are trumping my need to find a boy worth dating. Silly as it might sound, I was reminded that I am an individual, with goals of my own.
At this point, I am not in any rush to be in a relationship. This is my time to focus on me. It might sound selfish, but I am excited! When else am I going to have the opportunity to study in a different country for a year and not feel guilty for leaving everyone behind? I know that the experiences I have on my own will help me define myself more clearly and make whatever relationships I do have in the future that much healthier.
I am having a great time in college thus far; I have a great group of friends and a perpetually full calendar. It seems like I am always meeting new boys and not immediately looking at them as potential dates makes getting to know them as actual people easier.
So for maybe the first time in my life, I am actually following my mom’s advice. I understand the importance of taking time to be single for awhile and the benefits it will have for me in the long run.
Just don’t let my mom know that I was actually listening!