Life After College: I’m Becoming My Mother

November 17, 2009 Posted in Reality

"If I clean this toilet I can have a beer tonight."

I’m constantly amazed at how challenging it is to be an adult. It’s like everyday there’s something new I have to do that won’t get taken care of unless I actually take the initiative to do it.

By Jenni

I’ve basically had to turn into a parent for myself in order to get anything done. I remind myself to do things repeatably even though I heard myself the first time, I nag myself incessantly to do gross chores around the apartment, and I even discipline and reward myself with a behavior chart I keep on the fridge. Five gold stars mean I can go out for happy hour on Friday.

I’ve recently put myself in time-out (spent all day on the couch watching whatever Sandra Bullock movie TBS plays) for breaking curfew and I’ve lectured myself about not taking vitamins when I started sniffling last week. I’m at the point that I think my actual mother feels left out when she calls because I’ve already covered her territory. She calls expecting an opportunity to nurture (tell me what to do) and instead she gets a co-parent complaining about misbehavior and paying the cable bill on time.

While I’ve enjoyed being a parent to myself and ending each night with a warm glass of milk and Goodnight Moon, I’ve started to wonder when I will transition from being a faux-adult to being a real one.

Will I ever take care of myself just because I want to or will I spend the rest of my life threatening myself to either eat broccoli or suffer the consequences (No Hulu in bed)? Does scrubbing the toilet ever get exciting or will it always be something I’ll do while gagging and whining? When will I feel compelled to change my sheets on a regular basis and not just when I spill cereal on them?

I don’t know. Hopefully not soon because I’m really enjoying earning gold stars on my discipline chart (finished all my work for today = 2.5 stars). And I’m really looking forward to treating myself on mother’s day – after all being a parent is hard work and it will be nice to get a day dedicated to myself.

4645311 Comments2009-11-17+19%3A00%3A36Jenni+-+Syracuse on "Life After College: I’m Becoming My Mother"

Liz says:
Tue, 17th Nov 20099:06 am

Good article- but stop trying to grow up so fast! Maturing into an adult takes a different amount of time per person- it will evolve naturally. It's good that you're so responsible but you can't just turn into an old maid overnight!

But seriously if you ever discover that cleaning the toilet excites you then you've got bigger problems on your hands.

kirsten says:
Tue, 17th Nov 20099:40 am

I feel like I am turning into my mother too. I have to keep my house spotless, and even after a party I will stay up to clean EVERYTHING…. well the main things like beer cans and whatnot. In fact I need to get up right not to clean my toilet! and no it NEVER gets fun … if it does then we may have a problem!

Lisa says:
Wed, 18th Nov 20097:54 am

I wiiiish I had your dedication. I make lists and lists of stuff I have every intention of doing….then…oh….well…i'm tired i should have a nap before work….oh…there's a new episode of Bones…etc. Teach me! lol

rose says:
Wed, 18th Nov 200912:56 pm

I dont think enjoying cleaning the toilet is as big of a problem as actually enjoying an episode of Bones.

Kelly says:
Thu, 19th Nov 20097:09 am

I haven't even graduated yet and I find myself saying or doing things that are so much like my mom. Its awful. I'm hoping when I graduate it magically reverses itself. Being responsible and mature is one thing, being my mom is totally different.

Blair says:
Thu, 19th Nov 200911:10 am

Just host a dinner party every week! Or make a date come pick you up. Then you’ll definitely get those dust bunnies out from under your coffee table.

Check out these and other post-grad life tips at http://postgradapartments.com/blog!

regina says:
Sun, 22nd Nov 200911:12 am

the good behavior list is a good idea! I need to use it. I don't have that discipline and literally sat on my couch all day watching abc family. I am far from motherhood.

Jade says:
Mon, 18th Jan 20108:23 am

Haha- a mop used to suffice for cleaning my kitchen floor! Nowadays, I don't feel comfortable until I've gotten down on my hands and knees and given the thing a good scrubbing… just like my mum used to do… I've joined the FB group to share my pain of this realisation!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=…
YAY!

mary says:
Tue, 26th Jan 201012:58 pm

hey, can you write an article about this chart of yours? i'm pretty sure many people will benefit from it!

brandi says:
Wed, 31st Mar 20109:48 pm

lol kelly i agree.

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