Bar Fails: These Offenses Deserve a Penalty Fee

Craiggers says:
Tue, 1st Dec 20091:36 pm 

The view from a bartender:

1) If the bathrooms are shitty at 9:30, that’s the patrons fault, not the bartenders. You’re right, it’s unacceptable to have a bathroom in that condition, but do you think that the bartenders are any more excited about that fact then you? If anything, we hate it more, because we’re the ones who have to scrub up your drunk messes at 9:30 at night AND at 2 in the morning, so be a doll, and don’t ruin are bathrooms in the first place, problem solved. Bathrooms are the LEAST of my priorities when I’m stacked 3 deep at the bar, getting people drinks is the first, see your other complaints.

2) Watered down drinks. I know college bars are notorious for being ‘heavy on the mixer,’ but what you have to understand is that the amount of alcohol that can be served in any drink is actually regulated by law in most states. Now, that being said, there’s plenty of ways to get a bartender to spice your drink up a bit. Flirting? Kissy faces? Loudly complaining? Nope. TIPS. I’m not interested in you, and I’m certainly not interested in your views on how much I’m charging for drinks, I’m interested in walking out the bar with AT LEAST having made minnimum wage off you poor a** college kids since my base pay is #3 an hour. I’ll pour heavy all day long for someone who tips well, and the poster who said ‘vodka with a splash of cranberry’ is right, that would get a stronger drink, sometimes at no extra cost.

3) The reason I turn the lights on 15 minutes before the bar closes is because I’m still going to be awake for another 2 hours cleaning up the drunken debauchery that you say fit to visit upon my establishment. I don’t really care if you get laid or not, I care about getting to bed before 4 am. Trust me, if you need those last 10-15 minutes to get some that night, then I’m doing you a favor by preventing you from being a bottom feeder. If anything, the lights on are a great cue that it’s a good time to suggest somewhere else you should go (Like your bedroom) without the added romance of a bouncer pushing you out the door, which is what would happen when ACTUAL bar close time turns around.

All in all, a good article, and as a College kid myself, I agree, especially with the parts about lines, slow bartenders, etc, trust me, I hate dumb bimbos behind my bar who are only there because they’ve got a great rack more then anyone (Mostly because being a dude, I’m already disadvantaged at getting a job/tips as compared to a pretty girl, and I have to work my a** off and be extremely intelligent about bartending in order to be on par with some broad who just walked in off the street and laid her jugs on the bar).

Want to know how to make your bar experience better?

1-Drink within your means. I work at a very nice, very expensive cocktail lounge right now. If you want a $1 shot, then go down the street to the bar that only serves plastic cups, if you only want to spend $1 on a drink, you should never have been in my bar anyway. Hey, I don’t make a ton of money either, but it’s not the bar’s fault I’m poor. When I’ve got funds, I drink classy and heavy, when I don’t, I drink shitty and cheap. Don’t try to be what you’re not.

2- THAT BEING SAID, tips are more magical then you’ll ever realize. Even being a patron, I’ve garnered myself several free drinks over the course of the night, and especially heavy drinks as well, simply by tipping well. Here’s how to do it: Don’t make a show of it, especially for that dumb sorostitute you’re trying to hit on. She has daddy’s visa, you really think she cares that you can tip $3 for a $5 round? I appreciate it, but just leave it on the bar and accept my thanks. Don’t over-tip, it’s frankly embarassing. One of the best ways to do that is to tip huge up front. If you know you’re going to be there for awhile, the first time you’re at the bar, find a bartender who makes good drinks and you like, get your drinks from them, then leave a $20 or a $50 on the bar and say “I’m coming back to you all night!” and we won’t expect you to tip anymore (Unless you drink a F*k ton or are an a*s) as well as give you better service and priority in the bar line.

I could go on for days, but just another perspective for you. You want better service? Gotta pay for it. Can’t afford it? Not my problem, go buy some Old Milwaukee from the truck stop and go back to your dorm.