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Coupled. It’s the Little Things That Count
November 19, 2009 Posted in Relationships
I remember watching Say Anything with my sister when I was a kid and wondering if all men were as sweet as Lloyd Dobbler, standing outside a girl’s house with a boom box over his head. Obviously I had a rude awakening when I got to dating age and realized that high school guys were actually kinda jerks. I never got a big romantic gesture, Valentines, or even a cute note in class.
After meeting Matt in college and falling in love, I realized that those high school boys were still pretty eh, but I also learned that it doesn’t take some grand romantic gesture to be a sweet guy. It’s all the little things Matt does for me that really mean the most.
Last week I was in Wisconsin for my grandpa’s funeral. Since it was such short notice, my mom couldn’t afford to fly Matt up with me so he stayed at home while I was gone for a week. When I finally returned to Texas, I was coming down the elevator at the airport to meet him and he walked up the escalator just so he could give me a kiss and a hug a little bit earlier. He totally swept me off my feet, and with him just being his usual impatient self.
I’ve learned that guys don’t really like the big romantic gestures because most of the time they’re afraid they’ll either: A. screw it up somehow, B. embarrass themselves, C. get rejected, or D. all of the above. So honestly, the big romantic things are pretty rare, and while that means they should still be valued when they DO come along, you have to pay attention and enjoy the smaller things.
I for one love to get the random text at 2 in the afternoon that just says “i love you” when I’ve been having a bad day. It turns my entire day around from crappy to awesome. Or when Matt lets me have the last Dr. Pepper in the fridge. Such a gentlemen! I’ve learned not to expect amazing over-the-top romantic nights from Matt and I’m perfectly happy with that. As women we need to stop putting so much pressure on men to be romantic when just letting them be them can make us so much happier.
Face it, you’re not going to have Lloyd Dobbler standing outside your window every day trying to win you back. Or even your guy buying you flowers and cooking a romantic dinner on a random Thursday night. It’s the little things that count; they really do make me love my boyfriend a little more each day.
Whether it’s just a note left on our chalkboard in the apartment, or when he kisses me on my head when I’m still in bed and he’s off to his 8 o’clock class, the smallest gestures can really show just how much your man loves you and make you think “I have the best boyfriend EVER.”
Who needs some expensive gift when you’ve got that?
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Lisa says:
Thu, 19th Nov 200912:42 pm
This is something I needed to read! Thanks!
Sometimes I still expect my boyfriend to be the "rom-com movie" guy and do amazing over-the-top things – it's a hard thought to break. But it's things like this that remind me of all the "little" things he does for me that make me feel like the most loved girl alive.
Erich says:
Thu, 19th Nov 20092:17 pm
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." F.B.D.O.
This pretty much sums it up.
shockawed says:
Thu, 19th Nov 20093:21 pm
learnt, not learned ? is it? i'm not sure. Loved the post
Nessa says:
Thu, 19th Nov 20094:32 pm
Sarabeth, for a longhorn this is actually a really great article!!!
(jk, I actually like the UT kids, its Texas Tech that makes me want to shudder)
This is exactly what I've been thinking and telling my friends! They want this huuuugeee gesture but they're bf's are so sweet and show that they care is many MANY small ways! I wish that more girls would come to realize this!
Darwin - New York Un says:
Thu, 19th Nov 20095:54 pm
I agree, it's the little adorable things in life that make you happy. The big expensive things are material and don't last.
Erin says:
Thu, 19th Nov 20096:13 pm
Yes but it also means you shouldn’t have low expectations either. I understand what you are saying but a grand gesture now and then is a little needed. It can be as simple as taking me out to dinner once in a while. Especially when you live together things can get hella boring fast.
H says:
Fri, 20th Nov 20091:46 pm
“Or even your guy buying you flowers and cooking a romantic dinner on a random Thursday night.”
My boyfriend did this for me yesterday (Thursday haha)..flowers & all.. I guess I’m a lucky girl.
Candie says:
Fri, 20th Nov 20099:20 pm
My boyfriend and I often cook together and he insists on washing the dishes himself, whether its at his place or mine. It’s a sweet gesture
And I always get that random 2pm text saying something like “you’re the best girlfriend in the world” or “I cant wait to squeeze you when I see you!”
Nina says:
Tue, 24th Nov 20094:38 am
So true! I appreciate big things, but I don't expect them. The small things really do mean so much, and it seems like a lot of guys don't realize how nice that random text is
Fyndy says:
Mon, 30th Nov 20095:22 pm
Things only get boring when you stop trying.
I agree with this post; it usually IS the little things that make or break a realtionship.
My b/f is great for these. I'm a nurse, and shift work makes eventhe smallest things, like eating together, tough sometimes. So he'll do the laundry, or the dishes for me. And he ALWAYS gives me a kiss when he's off to work and I'm falling alseep in bed from a night shift.
Girls, grand displays are ok, but it's the little things he does to make your life easier or to let you know he's thinking about you that really count. And vice versa!!
Kevin Chrisman says:
Wed, 2nd Dec 20091:58 am
You're not going to believe this, but here's a guy who actually read all your posts. I appreciate you realize that all those little things are our way of saying "I love you". What I don't understand is why you ladies are more willing to say you appreciate our gestures to each other? Are you telling your guy the same thing? Sometimes we try so hard to make you feel good with all our little, silly things we do, really try to do the right thing by you–but, if you don't tell us, we get to feeling you don't appreciate them (and, consequently, don't appreciate us). Can you guess where that's going to lead? I'll pass on a little bit of knowledge, here. If a guy gets to feeling unappreciated, he's going to find a lady who does–and who tells him she does.
Tony says:
Fri, 4th Dec 20097:11 am
You know what's funny? I actually do all of the nice and cute things that chicks seem to love. From day one, I surprised my high school sweetheart with dinners, kissed her on the forehead, opened her doors, etc. I didn't do it excessively or anything but I certainly was the "romantic movie guy". You know what happened?…She broke up with me 3 years later in college. And one of the main reasons was because all of those nice things I did for her made the relationship "too perfect" (exact words).
Go figure.
steph says:
Sat, 12th Dec 20098:19 pm
i love this! =] its so true, the small things is what counts and we need to make sure that we appreciate them for it and vice versa. I love those random text right before i go to bed or wakin up in the morning :]