Like Katy Perry, and probably many of you, I kissed a girl. And I liked it. More than once.
Most times it was the result of inebriation and the desperate urging of one of my horny guy friends at a party. But regardless how I got there, I’m always surprised by how pleasantly different it feels to kiss a girl than a guy. I guess the whole thing just feels softer and slower, and usually tastes better (like cherry chapstick?). You get smooth, pillowy lips as compared to thin, chapped ones. There’s no stubble. And with girls, tongue action is more equal, as opposed to some guys’ tendency to overpower your mouth.
Lately I’ve been wondering if kissing a girl is so different, what would having sex with a girl be like? The thought has left me awake at night with lots of questions, confusion and curiosity. When it comes to trying out the other team, there’s just so much to consider…
First of all, what does that make me?
I’m very, totally and extremely certain that I’m not gay (just ask one of the guys I’m dating). But I’m definitely not 100% straight if I’m thinking about girls this way, right? Bi-curious would probably be the best term to describe me and that’s totally fine. Actually, I think I read somewhere that most people fall in the middle on the Kinsey Scale of sexuality. There are definitely more bi-sexuals sitting among us in lecture than we think there are and, in my opinion, they’re get the best of both worlds!
How would this work?
And what am I getting myself into, exactly? What constitutes sex with a girl? Is it just oral sex? Are there tools required? Which one of us would make the moves? I wouldn’t really know what to do if I found myself in bed with another girl (although I’m sure Captain Morgan would help me out a bit). I’m not up to speed on lesbian sexual politics, and I’m not sure how I can learn. One piece of wisdom I have acquired (from my gay male friends) is that oftentimes, lesbians don’t like to mess around with girls who are bi-curious, on the fence, experimenting, etc., because they assume that when things start to migrate down south, they’ll just chicken out, reject them, and run away to the safe familiarity of a peen. I totally get that. But if gay girls don’t want to get involved with me, how am I supposed to DO this?! Which leads me to…
Where am I supposed to find a lady?
It might be easy to find sexually open-minded people at smaller, liberal arts colleges where there is a higher population of gay students. But at my school, I don’t really know where to start looking among the thousands of undergrads. Where are all the bi-curious girls? I should probably start going to Rainbow Alliance/LGBT meetings more often and try to make friends. And I guess I’ll just have to be extra alert at parties and see if I can re-wire my Gaydar to pick up on signals from girls, too. Flirting with girls at parties will probably have to happen too, but I’m still emotionally scarred from the last time I tried to do that…
But even with all those questions, why not try it?
I just feel like the time is now to try this out. It’s practically expected for people to experiment in college, and I’m ready to go. The last thing I want is to wake up one morning in twenty years next to my snoring, scruffy husband and wish that I had explored another option when it was more socially acceptable.
If only it were as easy as it sounds.
Is anybody else going through this or know someone who is?