WTF Happened to Prince William?

There’s something that’s been on my mind recently, and I’m hoping I’m not the only one who has noticed. But seriously, what happened to Prince William and when exactly did he get assaulted with the ugly stick? Because with every day that passes, William begins to look more and more like his father, and that’s a genetic battle that he is most definitely going to lose.

I don’t want to succumb to my shallow side and say that it’s the hair that makes the man, but in Prince William’s case, it certainly is. His picture is showing up in the press due to all of his good deeds and charity work, but what seems to be getting more attention is the shocking lack of hair atop his royal head.

I can only imagine how Will feels when he gets ready for sleep each night, dutifully applying his Rogaine and remembering the days when he used to be the playboy of England. I bet there are some tears on his pillow (most definitely mixed in with the hairs that fall out of his head throughout the night). At least, I know there would be on mine. It can’t be easy knowing you’ve reached your peak of attractiveness at the ripe age of 26.

And what makes things even worse for the aging king-to-be, is that his younger brother has since been named the new “playboy prince.” It was only a year ago when articles titled “Is Prince Harry Too Ugly to be King?” were being published. But in that year, Harry really blossomed from a Ron Weasley-esque ugly duckling to a stunning, red-headed swan. Yes, one of the great wonders of the world, the rare red-headed swan.

The tables have turned, William. It seems as if Harry will no longer be walking around in your balding shadow, as tall and regal as it may be, and instead will be walking through my fantasies…. naked. But look on the bright side: at least you have a diamond encrusted crown to cover up that bald spot.