Technology Does Not a Relationship Make

Texting a breakup? Not OK.

We live, breathe and flirt in a world of high-tech, digital romance. And I can’t say with a straight face that I am not a user and abuser of texting/IMing/Facebook chatting when it comes to communicating with members of the opposite sex. But there are some instances where no Tweet can do justice to a face-to-face interaction when you’re wheeling and dealing in the game of love. Talk about bad romance.

The Break Up:
Remember when Berger dumped Carrie via Post-it note on Sex and the City? Well that sucked. But at least he made the effort to find a pen and paper. I’d take a post-it over a break-up text message any day. In my opinion, it is never OK to end relations via a short message service. Since when is a break-up considered a short message? Think about it. (Exception: You’ve only been dating for a week, and he’s already named your unborn child. Take the quickest possible escape route available. NOW.)

TMI on the Internet:
Making plans on each other’s Facebook walls. Really? Did you lose their number? No one wants to read this: “Hey babe, why don’t you come over around 7:30. We’ll watch a movie or something… but we probably won’t see very much. LOL! Ps. my roommate’s in the library for the night… bring condoms! You know my favorite kind.” All of your mutual friends are currently puking on their Newsfeeds right now, and so is your new-to-Facebook and recently friend-request-accepted mother.

Furthermore, websites such as IJustMadeLove.com should not exist. If you have enough energy to go online and let the world know what positions you just did it in, well I just don’t think you’re doing it right!

No Calls?
Sending texts/emails when phone calls are due is my biggest pet peeve. What we could have accomplished in a five-minute phone call has now clogged up my Gmail inbox with a back-and-forth rant about whether we should eat Italian or Chinese food that night. Honestly, if we can’t talk on the phone, then we probably won’t have much to say face-to-face.

Tweeting is Not Enough:

Reading “Happy one year anniversary, baby!” right in between Perez Hilton tearing down Michael Lohan’s parenting skills and John Mayer’s latest witticism about poop just isn’t going to cut it. I need flowers, I need restaurants, but what I don’t need is social networking, thank you very much.

Pardon my rant, but technology is really putting a damper on my love life. I guess I’ll just have to decipher his choice of emoticon in his latest text to see if we were meant to be.