Archive for November, 2009

My Freshman Year: Learning To Beat The Clock

Over the past three months, I’ve found myself falling victim to a peril of college life that most don’t consider an issue until it hits them. It’s that feeling of uncontrollable anxiety when you realize you have three papers, several long reading assignments, classes, TA sessions, club meetings, play rehearsals, study sessions, and exams (breathe) all happening in a very, very short time span. And in said short time span, you are simply incapable of getting it all done.

Yep, I guess you could say I’ve been experiencing a bit of a time management crisis.

I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later, since I’m pretty compulsive when it comes to my work and I have a hard time saying no to an extra-curricular opportunity. But, then again, it seems counter-intuitive that I, a devout non-procrastinator, should have trouble budgeting my time. Aren’t procrastinators the ones who usually feel the crunch when 500 pages of reading come crashing down on them at 3 in the morning? Since when does actually completing all the work assigned to me do more harm than good?

On the verge of a meltdown and a stress-induced chocolate binge, I turned to my college-grad-turned-medical-student brother for advice. I told him what my weekly schedule was like and asked what – if anything – I’m doing wrong. Much to my surprise, he told me that I’m actually doing much more than is necessary to do well in my classes.

Huh?? Read More »


The Black Friday Go-To Outfit

Who wears a bulky jacket? That ish will only slow you down on your sprint to the shoe section!

I am so excited for Thanksgiving break that I can barely contain myself. Instead of doing my homework, I’m watching Paula Dean stuff her turkey with a stick of butter on TV and listening to my mom describe her fancy new table settings to me over the phone.

The only thing better than stuffing my face with as much food as humanly possible is the fact that I get to burn off all the extra calories shopping amazing sales the entire next day. Yes, I am one of the brave ones (or freakin’ nuts, depending on how you look at it), who will arise before the crack of dawn and chug four cups of coffee before heading out into the crowds of all the other crazy women who will do pretty much anything for a good sale.

What I’ve come to realize through years of taking on a linebacker stance and charging my way through crowds is that the perfect Black Friday outfit is an essential to getting the most out of your one day of ridiculously discounted items. You can’t wrestle those pumps out of that woman’s greasy paws in just anything. So here it is, the go-to Black Friday outfit that will carry you through the day and help to make sure you get the bargains you’re after. Read More »


I’m Not Thankful For Thanksgiving

I'm getting nauseous just looking at this spread...

Unlike the rest of the world, Thanksgiving is my least-favorite holiday. I know, I know—the food, the laziness, the time off from work, the family (well . . . maybe that’s not such a plus)—what’s not to love?

For starters, I am a near vegetarian (I say “near” only because I will eat meat if other people prepare it for me) and I just plain dislike the taste of meat. So while the turkey is the main event for almost everyone I know, it kind of makes me wrinkle my nose. No, thank you.

I’m not above tolerating a meal I don’t like for one day out of the year, but the smell of Thanksgiving food cooking actually makes me feel slightly nauseous. This isn’t just because of the turkey—it’s a long story. (Warning: If you are of the weak stomach, I’d recommend you stop reading now.)

In seventh grade, my family hosted an exchange student from Germany for a couple of weeks in the fall, and we thought it would be fun to make a “practice” Thanksgiving dinner to share with her while she was there so she could experience a new holiday. Read More »


What Can Your Computer Do For You?

love laptop intro

True Life: I’m completely dependent on my computer. It’s my life source, as sad as that sounds. But honestly, it can do EVERYTHING. And when I say everything, I mean it. I bet you didn’t know the extent of your computer’s power. With one simple USB port, the world is your oyster. Read More »


Candy Dish: Taylor Lautner Does Rolling Stone

DROOL.

Is LiLo getting a reality show?!

WTF is Rihanna wearing?

Good Morning America gives Adam Lambert the boot.

Well, this is one effed up family.

Paula Deen gets up close and personal with a pig.


Welcome to the Biggest Bar Night of the Year

Drink up, little lady. It's gonna be a long and awkward night.

Thanksgiving is a-comin’, ladies! Time for some turkey, stuffing (my absolute favorite treat on earth) and reuniting with all your old home friends. Oh, and hopefully a major shopping spree with mom. Is there any other reason to come home?

For those of you lucky ladies who are finally 21 (or those of you with a really good fake), Thanksgiving also means taking part in the biggest bar night of the year! I remember my first Wednesday-Before-Thanksgiving bar experience…at least until I blacked out due to the extreme levels of awkwardness and puked in my parents’ house.

Try explaining that one to dad when he finds you passed out next to the toilet the following morning.

Anyways, being that it is the biggest bar night of the year, there are so many things to know! And, being that I have been doing it for a little while now, I feel I am the perfect person to enlighten you on what to expect and how to deal.

What to Expect: Running into people you never liked and still don’t like.

How to Deal: I tend to hightail it to the bar, but if you don’t want to end up looking up at your dad from the tile floor the next morning, perhaps playing nice is a good idea. You know; pretend to care what they have to say, tell them how good they look and politely bow out when you (pretend to) see a friend across the ro Read More »


8 Under $20: Victoria’s Secret

If I know one thing it’s that girls who only shop at Victoria’s Secret for the bras/panties/sexy lingerie are really missing out. That Vicki has a lot more to offer than lacy underthings that make your boobs look huge; Victoria’s Secret is also an awesome place to stock up on clothes, shoes and beauty products. They even have jeans that give your butt some lift!

VS is truly a one-stop-shop for all your girlie needs and the best news is, you can find things within your college gal budget (i.e. under $20). Shop on, ladies. Shop on! Read More »


Thanksgiving Break Dos and Don’ts

Do: bring home all that laundry for mom to do

Being back under your parents’ roof for Thanksgiving comes with a cornucopia of blessings, such as mom doing your laundry, shopping sprees and overeating until you actually consider braving the Black Friday crowds just to purchase a pair of jeans with an elastic waistband. However, being back under mom and dad’s watchful eye can be treacherous, as well.

This isn’t dorm life anymore. You can’t order Dominos at 2 a.m. and feed it to your late-night booty call in bed. That wasn’t OK in high school, and, believe me, it still won’t be appreciated by your parentals now. You may be a big, bad college student, but there are still some house rules that you must abide by.

That being said, here are some guidelines for navigating life at home for the Thanksgiving season:

Do enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with your entire extended family and celebrate with a glass of wine.

Don’t crush cans at the dinner table like you’re at a frat party. Because when asked what you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving, you’re great-aunt Susie won’t be laughing when you say “the morning after pill.”

Do have a few friends over for a Thanksgiving Eve pregame. There is nothing that my mom loves more than having my friends over to recap our lives over wine and snacks before she drives us to our night’s destination.

Don’t invite your entire Facebook friends list and set up a beer pong tournament on the kitchen table. Getting the family dog trashed may seem like a cool idea now, but the moment your parent’s feel it’s safe to come out of hiding in their bedroom, you’ll be getting an earful.

Do go out with friends and relive your high school glory days at a good ol’ fashioned house party.

Don’t attempt to use your fake I.D. at the local bar. There’s simply no good explanation a group of kids from various different states spanning the continental U.S. have gathered together to spend Thanksgiving in a small town in Jersey. It’s just not believable.

Do continue the search for a mate. High school boys do a lot of growing up in college; you never know what old crush or summer fling will need rekindling.

Don’t get drunk and sneak them into the basement. Experience has taught me that being awoken to breakfast-in-bed by mommy can turn quite ugly when a naked boy joins the party.

Do use protection.

Don’t ask your dad for it. He may agree, but it will most likely be a shotgun he brings out, not a condom.

You’ve been warned.


Do It Yourself Tuesdays: Wine Glass Rings

Let’s be honest: we college girls do most of our drinking out of red plastic cups. It might get the job done (and it’s usually free), but it’s far from classy. And sometimes we all need to be a little classy.

If you’re looking to add some class to your weekly routine, consider having the girls over for some wine and cheese. And add a little something special with these adorable, unique and classy wine glass rings!

While they aren’t a necessary addition to a wine glass (because wine is the only necessary addition, am I right?), I really love the extra fun these rings bring to the table. They are super classy and elegant, and they definitely look as if you bought them at Pier 1.

Plus, you can put them on anything. Since I don’t drink, I hang mine on the handles of my coffee mugs, but you can also clip them to kitchen-cabinet handles, keychains . . . the list goes on.

Each ring takes about five minutes to make, and it will only cost you about $5 in supplies to make a bundle of ‘em. Read More »


Life After College: Holiday Anxieties

Wait...you do WHAT for a living?

Thanksgiving gets increasingly more stressful for me every single year. If I’m not having nightmares about the stuffing running out before it gets passed to me, then I’m biting my nails over the fact that I’ll have to explain my career to my family sixteen times. And let’s not even get started on the fact that I’ve misplaced my expandable waistband jeans and turkey-print mumu. There’s no way I’m sitting down at that table wearing anything else. The last thing I can afford is a busted pair of pants with no buttons and a broken zipper.

I’m pretty sure my own parents can’t figure out exactly how blogging works or how I’m making money — so I have no idea how to even explain it to my grandmother. For years I thought she was computer literate, but it sadly turns out she was convinced that the Windows Paint program was actually the Internet. It certainly explains why she was adamant that my e-mails were never getting to her, but it will also make explaining blogging to her quite the challenge. Perhaps my best bet is to just replace her entire World Book 1965 collection with book covers that say “by Jenni” and tell her that I’ve been writing outdated encyclopedias since graduation.

Even worse than having to explain blogging to a 176-year-old (give or take a few decades) is having to beat around the bush when my younger relatives actually ask to see the blogs. While I’m writing for six different blogs, there is not one that’s appropriate for family members to see. If I’m not writing about one-night stands or pee pranks, then I’m giving advice to elderly men on how to date financially desperate women. And I’ve just ruled out showing this one because I know someone will tattle on me to my grandmother, which means a month from now when my siblings are opening up Chanukah envelopes with crisp 10 dollar bills, I’ll be opening a package marked hazardous that’s filled with my grandmother’s old dentures.

My anxiety ulcers aren’t just coming from having to explain my blogging career, but also from having to spend time with my extended family. When I was little, cramming 12 cousins into 2 beds seemed like a fun challenge. But now that everyone’s grown up (and gained weight) it’s more like every man for himself — if you don’t get a bed or a couch, make yourself cozy under the kitchen table. And beds are nothing compared to the fight over the remote. So help me god if anyone thinks they’re watching anything besides 30 Rock on Thursday night.

For a second I thought that maybe I was overdoing the stress and exaggerating the whole situation. But then my mom just called and gave me the annual lecture about not going out of my way to make my sister cry this year and I realized that I might be better off spending the holiday in my apt — TV remote and bed to myself.