Gossip Girl: Everyone Knows Elevators Have Security Cameras

Whoever said Thanksgiving was a time for family harmony obviously never met the Van Der Woodsen family. I mean, my god, how insanely brilliant was that Thanksgiving feast! It was like the best 7 minutes of Gossip Girl ever. From Vanessa yelling at her uber annoying mom, to Jenny and Erik (“I think your sweet potatoes are bland.” BURN!), to all that extramarital affair business down at the other end of the table, I was jumping off my futon! And to have Jason Derulo playing in the background as it all went down?

I almost died.

And the episode just kept getting better and better.  The only sore spot was that awful puppy-dog look Dan kept giving Vanessa.  Mr. Humphrey, a quick word of advice: do not get involved with that one again. Not only will you risk that awesome friendship, but you will have girls around the country shielding their eyes and yelling “Stop!” whenever you and Vanessa kiss onscreen.

I know – she’s gotten a lot cuter and her fashion choices have definitely improved this season, but I’m still not lovin’ her. It’s bad enough she gets to roll around naked with Chuck Bass in real life; don’t make me steal my other TV boyfriend in Gossip Girl life.

But enough about those two; the real drama award of the day goes, once again, to Serena Van Der Woodsen.  WTF is up with this girl? She’s making it incredibly difficult for me to like her anymore. (I’m pretty sure her wardrobe is the only reason I’m holding on.) It’s like she’s trying to make the worst decisions of all time. OK, I get it. Tripp is sexy, but hooking up with a married man is something I’ve been frowning on lately (especially since I started studying Clinton and Lewinsky in my journalism class). And does she have any idea how ridiculous it would look if some Congressman left his wife and his career for an 18-year-old girl who never went to college?! Although, seeing as she’s still sporting those awful press-on nails, it doesn’t seem like Serena understands ridiculous anymore.

If only Lily had known what she was inviting into her home when she invited Maureen’s woman’s intuition over for Thanksgiving.  That is one crazy wife…she’ll do anything to keep her man.  And that means running away with him, blackmailing with make-out elevator videos, and maybe hitting Serena in a car?  But we’ll find that out next week.

Maybe Serena should just stick to college boys… you know, like poor Nate Archibald.  Instead she’s treating Nate like nothing almost happened last week, hooking up with his cousin (in a freaking elevator) and running away with him instead. Maybe Nate should have told her his feelings without his shirt on…

Oh sorry; got carried away there for a moment. Anyways, this episode left me with a lot of burning questions and they all better be answered fast:

Where was Lily when she was supposed to be engaging in some mother-daughter bonding?
What does Erik have up his sleeve to ruin Queen Bee Jenny?
What on earth is in that damn letter from Doctor Van Der Woodsen?
And how on earth could Lily Van Der Woodsen-Bass-Humphrey (whatever her name is…) be wearing the same jacket at Tripp’s wife? This is the UES, after all.

We better get some answers soon.  Otherwise, there will be some serious Christmas drama on the horizon.

You know you love them.
XOXO.
GGR (Gossip Girl Recapper)

PS. DOROTA IS PREGNANT!  HOW CUTE IS THAT!!!!