Single. And Successful Nonetheless, Disney

December 4, 2009     Posted in Relationships

Success?

I was a huge Disney princess fan growing up; I had the Sleeping Beauty sleeping bag, I dressed up as Belle for Halloween…every year, and I even still know all the songs by heart. And can occasionally be heard singing them in the shower. Recently, as yet another way to procrastinate studying for my finals, my suitemates and I Netflixed the Disney version of Cinderella and spent a girls night enjoying one of the greatest classics of all time.


By Emmy

Much like the Golden Girls and The Simpsons, looking at one of my favorite childhood movies from a slightly more mature perspective was a completely new experience. I was alarmed by some of the things I saw. No, there weren’t any dirty jokes that once went over my head, but there were some seriously flawed messages being conveyed to the young and impressionable viewers. One, that evil people all have really big butts. The other, Disney’s very jaded, very antiquated definition of success for a woman.

At the end of any princess movie (or romantic comedy, for that matter) the girl is successful because she gets the guy. It doesn’t matter how awesome her life was before (Hello, Ariel was a princess and got to live under da sea!), she isn’t successful unless someone’s put a ring on it.

I hate the idea that success for women is defined simply by meeting the man who can make everything better. And I hate that I spent a good chunk of my life buying into that crap. As a single lady in the 21st century, I very much believe that before you can fall in love with someone else, you have to know and be confident in who you are. That’s what a healthy relationship develops from. And that confidence is what ultimately leads to a woman’ success, married or not.

So while Cinderella may not be successful until she finds the man that makes her a princess, I know that in real life there are so many more options to define success for us girls. Like dominating your university’s academics. Or making a name for yourself in student groups. Or surrounding yourself with some pretty kick-ass people. Because, yes, the people around us are important, but that doesn’t have to include some dude.

We all spend so much time getting dolled up to go out and meet guys at parties, in class and in student groups. And when we’re not primping, we’re analyzing. And talking. And sometimes stalking. But for what? If we spent half as much time trying to woo some guy, we could focus our attention on more important things. Things that truly make us successful. Things that make us feel good on our own.

Because independent success feels good.

Eventually our Prince Charming might show up, but until then, I am just fine being a successfully single Cinderella twirling at the ball with my girlfriends.

7 Comments on "Single. And Successful Nonetheless, Disney"

  1. mer says:
    Fri, 4th Dec 200912:14 pm 

    One thing you have to realize is these are adaptions of actual stories. It's not that Disney was really trying to make the point that women need to be married and taken care of by a male… in the original stories the women do get married at the end, so you cannot blame this all on Disney.

    Have you read the original stories, if you have, you should have noticed Disney, while trying to stay true to most plots, made their women more defiant and assertive.

    Also for the Little Mermaid, Ariel admits she has everything that a mermaid can desire (the minority, the females) but she wants to be part of the human world (the white male world), she wants as just as much power as the male. This is why she saves the prince in the beginning. She also defyes her father as to whom she wants to marry, outside of her race.

    Also in Sleeping Beauty (1959) Princess Aurora states she does not want to marry the prince but the hunter she met, and how she does not want to be a princess but she was happy just being a peasant girl. I think if you re-watch the Disney films and read the actual fairy tales you might surprise yourself.

    Though many might see Disney as just a subliminal message for women to get hitched because she will not survive without a man, people can also look at it that success is love, not just marriage.

    Though in Cinderella, her dreams is just to get out of her awful house… as she gazes upon the castle… so clearly all Cinderella wants is to be free of her step-family and get rich… so technically she does become successful in the end. But besides her, you have Belle, Ariel, Aurora, Pocahontas, Mulan, and all these heroines represent a development in the princess archetype, because they are all much more assertive and proactive than traditional princesses. These 'tomboy' princesses provoke their own changes in character.

  2. Maggie says:
    Fri, 4th Dec 200912:35 pm 

    I agree w/ your article! After my boyfriend & I got together, I realized how much time I wasted agonizing over guys who weren't important. Girls should understand who they are before they go out & try to wrangle another person into their life. Finding a Husband is not an occupation & it's much more worthwhile to build yourself up first & find the right person later. P.S. I now have an awesome guy who supports my academic endeavors & career ambitions!

  3. Mimi says:
    Fri, 4th Dec 20095:32 pm 

    These "OMG I'm single" articles are getting really old.

  4. Jackelyn - San Franc says:
    Fri, 4th Dec 20096:30 pm 

    hmm, some very interesting comments coming up here.

    anyway, i just wanted to say that i absolutely love your article. i completely agree that in order to love someone else, you have to love yourself first. it's key. and for all those girls who go from boyfriend to boyfriend, they're just insecure about who they are & find definition of themselves in others. the process of being confident in yourself may not be easy, but it's absolutely necessary.

    great article – looking forward to reading more!

  5. Zahra- Northwestern says:
    Sat, 5th Dec 20091:32 pm 

    Mer, all of those princesses you named at the end get their man in the end. I understand what you're saying about them being adaptations and about some of them being way more assertive than the typical princess, but that is typically the focus: getting the guy.

    Emmy, I was watching Aladdin with a friend on Thanksgiving and we thought it was hilarious that now that we're older, we were noticing all these racist and sexist undertones that we never would have if we were younger…I totally get where you're coming from!

  6. Dannia says:
    Sun, 6th Dec 20097:27 pm 

    Emmy, if you get a chance in your career at Loyola, take Women in Literature with Dr. Ash. This semester we explored fairy tales (both Disney and original tales) and how they send negative messages to women. I feel like you would love it.

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