Comments on: Breaking Rules, Not Roles

By: Stephanie Pena

Stephanie Pena — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 23:19:16 +0000

Jacky, You are amazing. We go-getters deserve the best and should be treated as so. I started doubting myself just this past week, but thanks to your article, I have regained my confidence.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 23:42:19 +0000

In Atlanta, GA, where I come from, these gender role stereotypes and gender-based rules about dating still exist. Guys are supposed to be in charge of the dates such as asking for dates, paying, making phone calls, e-mails, driving, etc., whereas girls are supposed to be passive, coy, and submissive and allow the guy to be in control. If the girl initiates things assertively, confidently, friendly, and innocently, she's viewed as a whore or slut, aggressive, desperate, pushy, etc. It's no wonder there's a lot of local TV news stories about date rape and/or violence, including date rape drugs, because women are always being passive and not assertive enough and men are always being aggressive, dominant, controlling, and pushy. It's terrifying! There's only a few people that can break out of those stereotypes, which really stinks.

But then again, I learned after two healthy dating and relationship workshops sessions at The Art Institute of Atlanta that gender role mannerisms in dating and relationships are potentially hazardous and that it's not wrong for a girls to make decisions at all and that guys must not be intimidated if they do.

The bottom line, like what some of you said is to trust your gut and also play it safe as well.

By: Lucifer Sam

Lucifer Sam — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:47:56 +0000

Love the article <>. I agree that a girl should get out of a relationship if she doesn't feel appreciated, and most importantly respected. As a guy, seeing a girl stand up for herself is ironically heartwarming. My whole perspective of her is repositioned because now i know she has enough self-respect to not put up with my bullshit. Once a girl looks out for herself in this way, she begins to exude a sense of confidence and independence that cannot be influenced by others. Her self-image becomes all her own.

But then again, its easy to see you think about things way too much. If you had fun adventures and you learned something…it was worth it.

P.S. The JR Celski article was humorous. Reading it, i could picture Miss J with a girlish giddiness, grinning from ear to ear. I mentioned him to all the filipinos at work. You've started a frenzy.

P.P.S. Happy 5 Month Anniversery!!!

By: Casey

Casey — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:59:14 +0000

I agree with that Jackelyn. In every relationship I've had, before we hit the one year mark, we always count the months , but considering they're just months and not REALLY that important, I wouldn't get upset if he forgot one (hell, I always forget them after the 6th month, lol) And most guys tend to not find the significance in stuff like how long you've been together, their main concerns are if they and their partner are still happy, but then sometimes you get one of those guys who's really sentimental and cares about that stuff even more than you do, every couple months I'll get a random text from my boyfriend like, "Happy 22nd month anniversary baby!" they're sweet, but I just have to laugh.

By: Bobby

Bobby — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:00:47 +0000

I picked up on another comment that someone else wrote, and I've got a question for the girls out there..what are girls' signals that us guys do not pick up on? For example, I went on a date with a girl. I thought she was interested. We had dinner, and we went to watch a movie. While at the movie, I attempted to put my arm around her..she moved away. If they liked the conversation you had, and you were fairly straightforward in the fact you liked them, what did i miss?

By: Jackelyn - San Franc

Jackelyn - San Franc — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:43:52 +0000

I'm glad you guys are enjoying it. I love all the points that have been brought up & it definitely sheds new light on the situation.

I think in the end, it all depends on how a person feels in the situation. Whatever your gut says, you must act accordingly.

& b, we were in such a short term relationship that in the beginning, it felt like the months mattered x] But I agree, months in a long term relationship don't have as great as an effect!

By: Breaking Rules, Not Roles : College Candy - Dating Tips and Tricks

Breaking Rules, Not Roles : College Candy - Dating Tips and Tricks — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 07:52:38 +0000

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By: katielawrence

katielawrence — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:48:51 +0000

good article

By: b

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:00:18 +0000

Casey is 100% right, in my opinion.

I enjoyed most of this article- but forgetting one month anniversaries isn't a big deal, LOL. Most people don't remember them… Myself included. If my hubby were to come up to me and be like happy 35 month anniversary, I'd probably just laugh, not really think it was sweet.

By: Casey

Casey — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 14:44:53 +0000

If a guy is really into you then he'll make the first move. If he doesn't he's probably shy or has self esteem issues, in which case I don't want to date him anyway.

The best solution is to make your feelings known, guys tend to not pick up on little signals so you have to be pretty straight forward for them to get it, but if you make your feelings known to him and he feels the same in return then he will ask you out. If he doesn't, quit wasting your time cause he's not into you. This way you get exactly what you want and you don't have to worry about screwing with gender roles. It really is that simple.