Asia says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20097:16 am 

I had never gotten The Talk from my mother. Oh she tried about 3 times (each one I avoided the talk by covering my ears and loudly going LALALALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALALA). I was a pretty smart little kid anyways so by the time I reached the age of 12 (when she tried giving the first talk), I had already read alot about it in my biology books. Eventually she gave up after the 3rd time (when I was 15), and now we openly talk sex, drugs, all those good talks, and I give her information about my life voluntarily.

Of course I doubt my own little one (whenever I get around to having one…maybe in 10 years?) will willingly pick up a biology textbook and read that section, so I'll give talks when they're around 12 just like my mother tried to. And they better listen to! lol.

Candie says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20097:29 am 

I'm 20 and never got the talk and I still dont talk about sex at all with my parents. But I'm a perfectly responsible condom + pill user so it's not like the lack of a "talk" messed me up

mandy says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20098:35 am 

my parents started talking to me when i was 16, because they knew i had saved myself for my long time boyfriend who was flying down to see me. so about a week before he came my mom took me outside and gave me a beer and we talked all day long about sex, my view points, what to expect and even some tips (yea i know!!) and we've been open and talk about everything, and im 20yrs old, living with my fiance and couldn't be happier

Annie says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20098:54 am 

I got "the talk" in 4th grade from my mother on the way home from a girl scout field trip where we learned all about getting your period and such. She knows I'm aware of all sorts of aspects of sexual behavior, though she never actually asks me about my own.

Leigha says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20099:05 am 

…I was 10? But it wasn't so much "The Talk" as "You know what sex is, right? And you know you can talk to me? Here, have a book about 'growing up.'"

(And before anyone says that's not the same thing, there was a section on deciding if you were ready for sex, and about safe sex, so yes, it counts.)

I don't really understand your statement of "before they even start thinking about sex" though. That wouldn't be 13 so much as, what, 8 or 9? Come on, by 12 or 13, sex is practically ALL you think about.

Star says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20099:35 am 

People talk about how much "earlier" people are having sex but it's actually late compared to what used to be the norm. When arranged marriages were common, girls got married in their preteens. It wasn't unusual for a very young girl to marry and older man. Not that I think it's right or that middle school students should be having sex, it's just that the "good old days" where kids didn't start thinking about sex until 18 or later never actually existed.

Mal says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20099:53 am 

I never got the talk from my parents, but once my sister came into my room while i was sleeping and woke me up to say "dont ever have sex, promise?" to which i groggily responded, "ok…"

haha, good times. lol

Rummy says:
Tue, 8th Dec 200910:38 am 

My mom never did give me the talk. Because of her own childhood she wanted me to wait until I was of legal age (16), but my own hormones didn't agree and I lost it at 14. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know that, but I think she realized I already knew all I needed to know by the time 16 rolled around. Hell, I was already secretly on the pill.

I did, however, almost lose it at 12, early developer and all that, but realized last minute that I wasn't ready. In hindsight, I do not regret losing it at 14, but I am not a 100% convinced I was ready then either. Maybe if I had had the talk with my mom I'd been able to stick it out longer or something.

Luckily, my schools were pretty good, and I think we had the first talk in grade 5 (mostly about puberty and menstruation), and had them nearly yearly since then, so I knew to be safe. My kids are probably getting the talk way before 13, probably starting at 10-11 with some basics, and go more into detail from there. Kids are bound to have questions, and I hope mine will feel comfortable asking.

Gilly says:
Tue, 8th Dec 200911:36 am 

Wow… I definitely think that making sure kids are prepared is a good thing, but middle school might be a bit early for some. Geez, I was still incredibly naive in High School! Sure, I knew people had sex… but not my FRIENDS. Let's just say I've learnt a lot since then…

But my mother ALWAYS tried to talk to me, SO annoying, especially when I had already figured it all out. Sometimes, you just have to listen and not judge when a kid wants to talk…

Lily says:
Tue, 8th Dec 200912:05 pm 

I got the sex talk at age 6 and was not terribly traumatized. My mum was quite clinical about it, and I was satisfied from a biological-explanation standpoint.

Jess says:
Tue, 8th Dec 200912:09 pm 

My mom never talked to me about sex until I started seriously dating once I got to college, but like the study said it was too late. But that wasn't the first time I had to sit through it. We were taught about sex in 5th grade, at age 10. And then again in 7th grade. While I agree with it, I think that most are not mature enough to fully understand.

Jenna says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20091:19 pm 

The only official-type "talk" I had was in the 9th grade when I first started dating, and my mom just said "let me know if you need birth control."

Ellie says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20092:56 pm 

I was 8, and had pretty much the same sitch as Lily.

Monica says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20093:08 pm 

I think more than one "talk" may be necessary.

I think that around age 10 at the latest kids should be learning about what sex is from a strictly biological perspective, and be informed about puberty BEFORE it hits.

I think another talk a little later on, maybe around 12 or 13 is important to talk about what sex involves emotionally and learning how to have a healthy attitude towards sex. Different parents may want to impart different ideas about sex to their children, and that's fine.

Kids are developmentally ready to get different facts at different stages in their lives.

Jenn says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20093:34 pm 

4 years old: I asked where babies came from, and my mom told me. Around kindergarten/first grade when i could read proficiently, she brought home books explaining EVERYTHING.

She told me that back then it somewhat traumatized me. It may have been for the better though because i would choose the cold facts over ignorance any day. As i grew older and losing my virginity loomed closer, the talk became "dont have sex. and if you do, use a condom. and if you dont, then you'll have a very hard decision to make. and depending on that decision, you may have to kiss your dreams goodbye"

sex education was taught for a month at my middle school during science class, and somewhat during freshman biology.

however, i think its up to parents to preface that with a little general knowledge and warnings.

Courtney says:
Tue, 8th Dec 20095:52 pm 

Haha, I'm in the same situation as you. I literally learned how sex was done by reading Cosmo. Not kidding.

Dani says:
Wed, 9th Dec 200910:52 am 

"The Talk" for me came in the form of an informative, illustrated, children's book ("The Body Book") gifted to me when I turned six. YES, SIX. I still can't decide if this was sheer brilliance on the part of my parents, or totally weak. The fact that the book merely existed meant that there were other, like-minded adults who wanted to altogether avoid ever having to talk to children about.. you know..

Apart from that obvious cop-out, my parents never really delved into "The Talk" with me, aside from my mother imploring my brother and me to, if we HAD to have sex, for God's sake, use a condom.

Kathryn says:
Wed, 9th Dec 200912:04 pm 

I never had a single "Talk" with my parents. They were always open about it and so talking about sex was never really a big deal. I knew about sex before I was 8 (though not the down-and-dirty details) and my parents basically told my older brother and me that we should wait until we're ready, not to let any pressure us into it, and always be safe about it. But it was never a one-time, "this is what sex is" conversation, it was more integrated into family conversations whenever it came up. And if my brother and I had questions, say from something we heard or saw in a movie, etc, we weren't afraid to ask.

And my parents definitely made it known that if I were to get pregnant in high school/college/before I wanted kids, I would have to come home and dig my own grave in the backyard.

Starr says:
Wed, 9th Dec 20096:37 pm 

My father ( yes, MY FATHER) gave me the talk when I turned 13. Wayyy traumatizing.

arcaperyisype says:
Thu, 10th Dec 20097:22 am 

Soliemame

af5g

Cassie says:
Sun, 13th Dec 200912:11 am 

I got "the talk" at age 8, and only because I started my period and was freaking out. It wasn't bad though, I didn't feel uncomfortable and when I was older my mom answered any questions including the infamous screaming of "mama what's an orgasm?"

Brookswift says:
Mon, 14th Dec 20094:22 pm 

I hit puberty at 8. The closest thing to "the talk" was my dad telling me not to get anyone pregnant. The internet taught me most of what I needed to know, and I had a lot of advanced biology books that explained it all in explicit detail.

Parchoffi says:
Fri, 18th Dec 20093:56 am 

I can completely relate. My parents never had "the talk" with me either and after 30 years, sex is still an uncomfortable topic and I get weird if there is a sex scene on tv when I'm hanging out with them. The closest thing to a talk i ever got was once my mom decided to iron a pair of my pants and found a condom and then proceded to refer to my then girlfriend as "the whore" for the duration of our relationship (I was 19!) After that, when I would go out, she would just spurt out "I'm not ready to be a grandmother yet" as I was leaving.

I think kids today don't really need the talk. There is so much on tv and movies and music and online that by the age of 10 they probably know more about sex than we do!

Marla says:
Fri, 18th Dec 200912:44 pm 

I'm 18 and pregnant, and I never really got "The Talk" until Mom found an empty condom wrapper in my jeans pocket. She then told me we would get me on birth control, and that we wouldn't tell Dad (we were both afraid he would attempt to kill my boyfriend of 2 years) and that was about a year ago. Got on the pill, got off of it whenever my boyfriend and I didn't have the money to get the Pap Smear required to get more refills (Mom had decided that it was our responsibility… so we didn't tell her) and used condoms since then. Condoms obviously don't work as well by themselves.

So now, I'm reading this and wondering when I'll start talking to my kid about sex and relationships. I'm not sure I'll start at 6… that just seems to ask for trouble if your kid is mouthy and likes to tell all the other kids every word they hear, you know? My boyfriend and I (neither of us have ever been with anyone else) are now married, living with my parents because they want to "keep poverty out of the equation", and I kind of wish that my parents would have tried to make conversations about love and sex an easier topic to approach. It may have prevented this accidental miracle, and it may have prevented nothing, but a more comfortable atmosphere to talk about those things would have made everything a bit easier.

heather says:
Mon, 21st Dec 200911:15 am 

I never had the talk; we had sex ed starting in grade four (like, the proper names of the organs and everything, and then once we got older we got "sex-ed"-sex-ed). This summer my mum was talking to my younger sister and I (I was 20) and started getting into "sex-talk" mode, and we were like "MUM! We know already! We had sex ed for a reason: to save you from having to give us the talk!"

Amanda says:
Sun, 27th Dec 20098:17 pm 

I was in 7th grade when sex came up I was in 5th when the talk of womens periods came up…so I'm not sure what my age was, both my parents where pretty cool talking to me about it, even now we talk about it and I'm almost 23…of course my dad still thinks I'm a virgin but mom knows better.

steph says:
Wed, 30th Dec 200910:18 pm 

Well, my school had a mandatory sex ed class in 9th grade, but pretty much knew about sex since like elementary, but my mom didnt actually talk to me about sex until i seriously dated my bf of 3 years now, it wasnt so much a this is how it goes but more of a, make sure you are safe n careful n do things for the right reason, overall she didnt talk to me about sex in middle or even High school but she raised me well enough to wait til i was 20 so i think she did a pretty good job :]

Lillian says:
Thu, 31st Dec 20094:04 pm 

I never had a "talk" directly per se. I went to a religious middle school so the closest thing we ever got to sex ed was "Don't have sex before you're married." When I changed to the public school, all they told us about was STD's if condoms were not used. The scare tactics seem to have worked.

I found out about sex and contraception by being a nosy eight year old in the vicinity of Gray's Anatomy (the book) in my dad's office and two puberty books in the public library. Once my parents found out I knew, my dad told me "either wait until you get married or use the proper birth control." My mom flat out told me "don't use any of that until you get married."

It will be interesting to see whether I wait or not.

Reygz says:
Mon, 11th Jan 20106:05 pm 

when I am high school student my mom said dont get merried and dont do anything in the young age so im very innocent that so i descided i try to have a boyfriend and what felling if u can do anything but still be practical and im 18yrs old i have a baby so this is challenge for me i prove my seil and my family i can do evrything for my new family and finish my accomplish to get my goal.Thanks God.

Elena says:
Fri, 15th Jan 201011:38 pm 

I am 20 and never got the talk. In fact, my family isn't very open about anything. It seems like every puberty-related milemarker I hit was just one bit embarassment and my mom didn't handle it well at all. She made it all into a big deal. A lot of the reason there is a complete lack of communication is due to the fact that my parents never grew the balls to talk about anything sex related. Of course I love my family, but I've talked to my sister and she too has noticed the lack of communication in my family. My mom won't even talk to me about boys. I feel like it has caused me to have a lot of trouble when getting to know people of the opposite sex, because I automatically have a barrier put up in my mind saying that any relationship I have is wrong/unacceptable. I know having the talk is awkward, but I would take that over not being able to talk about important matters in my family… just a thought.

ing says:
Mon, 1st Feb 201010:42 am 

I was quite young – 5 or 6 I believe – when my mother explained all the funny words and body parts to me and my brother. The funny thing is that my mother is a pretty conservative woman.

Many people might find 5 a bit young and therefore pointless, but children are very curious, and I'm glad I got all the awkwardness out of the way before I was old enough to be embarrassed about it.

b says:
Tue, 23rd Feb 20101:49 pm 

well…. i am only 13 but my parents dont even say the word "kiss" in front of me so i think they think that u learn everything from sex ed (probably somewhat rite) but i personally think that parents should talk to their kids about sex, not some teacher who you barely know (slash hate, my teacher was so bad, he made penis sound like "peeeeeeeenissssssss").

Davin says:
Sat, 27th Feb 20104:27 am 

I got the talk when I was 8.

Elizabeth says:
Fri, 9th Apr 201011:04 am 

My mother attempted to give me the puberty talk at age 9, I think. I fell on the playground, and my lower back got tweaked and ached something awful, but my mom was convinced it was cramps and that I'd gotten my period. She followed me through the house trying to "explain" my pain to me, and I didn't want to hear it and shut my bedroom door in her face. Yes, I was a bit of a brat, but I already knew the things she was trying to tell me. A year earlier I had found a book on puberty and sex that was placed on the floor in the living room, most likely on purpose. I brought that book to school one day and showed it to all my (mostly male) friends during recess… I was the most knowledgeable kid in that group for a year or so.

Monkeee says:
Wed, 31st Oct 201211:01 pm 

Exactly same situation here – the entire post.
I actually searched this topic to see if I were the only one. I didn't know how it worked until after I graduated high school and entered college. One day while studying bio, I realized that my idea of it didn't exactly make sense. After a while, I figured it out and it was hard for me to even understand. I felt so stupid because if it.

Christy says:
Sun, 3rd Feb 20138:58 pm 

I never got it, and never will. I never listened to sex ed either. I mean I'm never going to have sex so why listen? Nobody has answered that one yet. Why would this info interest me if i'm never going to use it? It's not like i'm going to have children, ever.