Ask A Dude: Awkward Encounter With The Ex

Dear Dudeness,

OK, so I need your help. My ex dumped me about 8 months ago saying that we needed space. I called BS and we didn’t talk after that. But yesterday we were talking, just catching up and I was secretly checking to see if he was with someone. Well he ended up inviting me to a party and so I went. We didn’t really talk at the party; he came up to me and said hi but I was really busy winning beer pong. Then me and my friends left to go get Taco Bell and when we got back he had left. He said earlier that he would come back for me if I needed a ride and I ended up needing one, of course, so he came and got me.

Long story short, we ended up in my room about to have sex and then he blurts out: “You were the only girl I ever loved.” Umm WTF? I told him it was just sex and that we didn’ need to discuss that right now (I was trying to not be clingy… did I get it right?) but then he told me that again later on. Why? He was the one to dump me and say we needed space. My ex broke my heart right in half and I don’t want to do the whole obsession thing of wondering what he meant, but why would he tell me that? It was almost awkward. Almost.

Anyways I’m totally rambling but I figured you would know what to tell me.

Thank you, dude!
Taylor

Dearest Taylor,

Last week I discussed the similarities of guys and dogs.  Same reasoning applies.  Dogs chase things because they love the thrill of the chase.  Guys chase girls for the same reason.  We may not even like a girl all that much, but if she responds to what we are doing, we will pursue like a bloodhound on the trail of an escaped convict.

Your fella is probably experiencing the phenomenon of “dump my girl and burn through as many chicks as possible letdown.”  This occurs when a guy is getting some very good responses from his main squeeze.  She falls for him, it boosts his ego, and he thinks he can do the same thing with any girl he wants.  But then reality kicks in and he realizes what worked for you isn’t working with the rest.  Cue crawling back and professing undying love.

Be careful with this one.  You could end up being the rebound girl to yourself.  Find out why exactly he dumped you in the first place.  If it was something about you, has it changed?  If not, then why would he feel any different the second time around?  If he wanted to test the old saying of other fish in the sea and cast his line into open waters, then I would imagine he wouldn’t be a good choice for a steady boyfriend.

– The Man, The Myth, The Dude

[Got a question for Mr. Dude? (And, no, that doesn't include asking him out; homeboy is taken!) Ask it: askthedude@collegecandy.com. He won't sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. He'll be 100% real dude, 100% of the time. So bring it on, ladies.]