Single. And Left Out.

December 18, 2009     Posted in Relationships

This is....fun.

You know what it’s like when everyone is talking about last night’s Gossip Girl episode that you didn’t get a chance to watch because you had to study for some dumb Calc final and you’re the only one out of the convo? And while you try to keep from having anything spoiled for you before you get a chance to watch the episode online, everyone else can relate over how crazy it is that a threesome actually occurred and V looked ridiculous in her lingerie and “OMG I can’t believe that happened,” and they’re all bonding over something you weren’t a part of.


By Emmy

Sometimes, hanging out with my couple friends feels like that.

Now understand, I was one half of the same couple for a long three years, so I have a firm grasp on this from the couple perspective. My coupled friends can’t always help talking about their relationships – they are a huge part of their lives, after all. And they’re excited and happy and in love and they just want to share that with their BFFs. And when we go out and they do coupley things, they aren’t doing it to rub their love in our single faces; they just want to hang out with all of us and include everyone, regardless of their Facebook relationship status. I have no doubt that whatever they do is done with the best of intentions.

But now seeing this all from the single perspective, it is so easy to feel left out. Or occasionally grossed out. I mean, come on, some pet names are not meant for other people’s ears. And I don’t need to see you guys suck face while we’re watching a movie in the living room.

This whole thing is only worse during the holidays when even just staying in to watch Christmas movies with your honey sounds romantic. It’s like everywhere I turn there’s love and coupledom being shoved in my face. Maybe I don’t like being reminded that I have yet to find someone that I deem worthy of keeping me warm during the long winter nights, or maybe I’m just jealous, but every once in awhile I am fairly certain that I am allowed to be annoyed when one of the boyfriends crashes a sacred girls’ event.

Not that that happens often…according to the girlfriends. But, trust me, it happens often enough that I end up “going to bed” early (“You know, I got a class early in the morning….”) just to get away from it. I don’t blame my friends and I don’t resent them for it, but no matter how much I love them, sometimes hanging out with my coupled friends doesn’t sound like fun.

Catching up on the latest Gossip Girl, though? Now, that never disappoints.

14 Comments on "Single. And Left Out."

  1. Beth says:
    Fri, 18th Dec 200911:12 am 

    100% true. I find myself feeling happy for my friends if they enter into a new relationship but also feeling sad, like "well there goes another one…"

  2. KB says:
    Fri, 18th Dec 200911:42 am 

    waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

  3. Vicki says:
    Fri, 18th Dec 200912:50 pm 

    So many of my friends have gotten married/engaged this year that it really started to depress me since my dating life is literally nonexistent. But I eventually decided that I can't let it get to me because I have to trust that I will find the right guy in in the right time, which just isn't right now.

  4. Megan says:
    Fri, 18th Dec 20096:17 pm 

    I live in a house with 6 other people. I am the ONLY single one. I totally understand your pain. It's always the worst when I'm watching tv and then they join me and end up making out half way through a movie or show I really wanted to see.

  5. Alice says:
    Fri, 18th Dec 20099:34 pm 

    I must hang out with such a different crowd than the College Candy girls because most of my friends are either still virgins or very tight lipped about their dating and sex. And most are still single.

    Seeing someone and sleeping with them is the exception in my group.

  6. Louise says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 200910:23 pm 

    It always seems like when I'm in a relationship none of my friends are, and when I'm not all of my friends suddenly have boyfriends. It sucks.

  7. Ally says:
    Sun, 20th Dec 20093:31 pm 

    Totally agree w/ this article & particularly Megan.

    It's one of the worst things when my flatmates & I are watching the TV & the coupled ones (which are the majority) are sometimes all over eachother…! I feel really happy for them that they've found someone they can be with but they don't have to do it 24/7 (ok, maybe an exaggeration but definitely feels like it). For me, it just emphasizes the fact that I'm single and lonely :(

  8. laryhanis says:
    Mon, 21st Dec 200910:53 pm 

    I seem to not find any good men out there and I think I am okay looking but, it seems that I keep getting these guys that act like jerks. I want someone good for me but, honestly are there any left.
    http://ezinearticles.com/?Acnezine–Review—Does…

  9. mollination says:
    Wed, 23rd Dec 20096:17 am 

    Only thing that's worse than this is being *in* a couple, and still feeling left out.

    Maybe it's the holidays, maybe my bf has decided I'm not actually as worthy as he thought I was three weeks ago when he used to call when he said he would, call every day, and want to make plans, but nothing is worse than feeling lonely and left out when there's no excuse. blah. Now I'm whining. Sorry.

  10. Emmy - Loyola Univer says:
    Wed, 23rd Dec 20098:43 am 

    Molly, I am really sorry that your bf has been acting weird. And it is always bad timing around the holidays. But honey, if he isn't treating you right, he probably doesn't deserve you. Hopefully he'll shape up and everything will be fine. If not though, you're allowed to whine. Let me know if you need anything!

  11. hannahkaty says:
    Fri, 25th Dec 20094:41 am 

    I agree with you. It is definitely worse during the holiday season. But on the adverse, I find that when I am the taken one and I have someone in my life, I am always wondering if I am missing out on something with my friends or scheduling very meticulously so that I don't miss drink with the girls and dinner with the guy.

    And hold your head up Molly.

    Best,

    Hannah Katy

  12. samara says:
    Sat, 26th Dec 200910:33 pm 

    most of my mates are afraid of being single.so,i left me to be the only non-dating girl.when they are not going out with their guy,they usually looking for me but when they are(which is most of the time),i am giving warning to do not disturbed them..

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