Facebook Wall of Shame: No One Cares

December 19, 2009     Posted in Entertainment, HaHa

23

By Kelly

They dominate your Newsfeed and make you want to hurl something at the screen. Maybe they are anti-funny, maybe they are over-sharers, or maybe they don’t really understand the difference between updating a status and responding to someone else’s (that one’s for you, mom!). Whatever it is, they make your (hourly) Facebooking a nightmare.

Which is why we’re putting them in CollegeCandy’s Facebook Wall of Shame.

Each week we’re going to post the worst of the worst Facebook status updates right here. The updates that make us stare at the screen and ask “WTF?” The updates that make us question how we ever became friends with that person in the first place. You know you’ve got a few eligible Updaters on your Newsfeed, so copy those updates into an email and send them on over to FBWallOfShame@CollegeCandy.com.

Because everyone knows someone who belongs here…

Bi-Curious Brad UPS guys have more defined calves than FedEx guys…just saying :)

Sexually-Harassed Susan My Professor made his default profile pic to him and me…with me in my bikini. We are not friends on Facebook. Also, found out from word of mouth. I am a little concerned

Greedy Gail sooo i do not believe in being superficial and materialistic and believe that gifts should come from the heart….but if anyone wants to give me the following from the heart it would be appreciated! 1) a black coach purse 2) a gold lady like watch and 3) a black Benz like [friend]!!! lmao k thanks :)

Girl Who Thinks Other People Actually Care About Her Finals one final down one more to go….studying for managerial economics, work, and then studying for the rest of the night!!!! done tomorrow

Absentminded Ashley [Husband] just stuck the thermometer underneath his tongue that I accidentally forgot to wash after sticking it up [baby]’s butthole . . lmao!

Hated Holly damn can people find better things to do than talk about me? like..i know im a very interesting topic but sh*t..the last 2 days ive been called bitchy, bossy, told i have an attitude problem, and apparently now im in a sexting relationship. like, coooooool. all these haters fuelin my fire :) muaahhhh ♥

Insecure Isabelle wants you to look at her and call her beautiful…

Doesn’t Know About Private Messages Girl dear mum, LEAVE ME ALONE. if you call me one more time trying to change things, or act all surprised that something i’ve been telling you about ALL DAY is happening, i’m calling at&t and having your # blocked. you can reach me through dad who will blissfully screen my calls and give me the abridged version of your bullshit.

Rejected Rena And all i wanted was a hug or maybe even a kiss and in return i got a no

Baby-Talk Brianna Just got back from spendin da whole day wit my baby who brought me to da aquarium out to eat and shoppin….aww I wuv him

Hard-Life Hannah hmm.. DAMN so stressed…debating whether to return this GUCCI for the LV instead… FML!! picking bags is the most hardest this ever ’cause I want all of them!!

Role-Playing Ruthie does anyone have a legit cheerleading uniform i can borrow for a couple hours tomorrow morning?

23 Comments on "Facebook Wall of Shame: No One Cares"

  1. JenniferUofR says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 20098:34 am 

    So then if you can't post about your last final, or Rean, Hannah, and Ruthie what do you write on your wall? So does that mean we should only post about how drunk we got and how fun last night was? Should i take down my post about it snowing, which consisted of "its snowing" or is that to selfish sounding? I'm confused here..

  2. Miriam says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 20098:50 am 

    HAHA I can totally relate with the "Girl Who Thinks Other People Actually Care About Her Finals" part. I'm so sick of opening up my Facebook and getting a screenful of everyone's latest academic woes. EVERYONE goes to school, for heaven's sake. We know.

  3. Tori says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 200910:05 am 

    You just posted ALL the damn people that are on my facebook.LOL.All my freinds seem to only want to complain or think they have haters.WTF.I so want to tell them sugar dumplings u dont have haters just in your damn mind.

  4. E. says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 200911:50 am 

    I'm pretty sure changing your Facebook picture isn't sexual harassment – anyway, I want the story behind that photo. :P

  5. Casey says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 200912:24 pm 

    I agree with Jennifer. I update my status with whatever might be on my mind at the time. I don't care if anyone else reads it, I'm just putting it out there. But considering every status gets at least 1 or 2 likes and/ or comments, that proves that at least one person out of my like 500 facebook friends cares about my finals/ husbands thermometer/ creepy professor/ purse dilemma/ fight with mom/ etc.

    It's really not that big of a deal. And if you can't put that stuff on there, which honestly, none of those examples were anything to get irritated over, then what is acceptable to put on there?

  6. JenniferUofR says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 200912:46 pm 

    I know Casey, what should we be putting up there?

    I'm all about STFU Parents and STFU Conservatives and STFU Believers, but that stuff is in your face and obnoxious. None of this stuff is gratuitous.

  7. Sara says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 20091:22 pm 

    Great. Now I have nothing to write about anymore.

    :)

    But seriously- nothing is really THAT bad about any of them- in moderation. I think the wall of shame should be for the obviously obnoxious.

  8. M says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 20095:01 pm 

    I'm wondering what YOUR status updates look like, if you're complaining about what these people use as their updates.

  9. Marla says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 20095:50 pm 

    None of these statuses are actually what I would consider to be Wall of Shame worthy. They're all pretty normal. Everyone has statuses about their academics and relationships. I actually enjoyed the funny ones like the thermometer and the creepster professor :) I was thinking that Wall of Shame statuses would be more like… well, just not like what ya'll put on here.

  10. Kelly - Simmons Coll says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 20096:02 pm 

    If you don't think these are bad enough, submit your own!!!

  11. Casey says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 20096:16 pm 

    Miss "I want everyone to know just how much I know about football" Okay COLTS, first you're in the lead, then the Jags, then you again. Let's keep scoring AND stop the Jags from scoring as well. 9:29 pm

    Miss "I want everyone to know just how much I know about football" is going to go throw up now b/c we're ahead by only 4, there's 2 minutes left in the game, & it's Jags ball. What the HECK, COLTS?! You're gonna give this game to the Jags?! C'MON NOW!! 11:08 pm

    Miss "I want everyone to know just how much I know about football" 30 seconds left in the game…I can't decide if Peyton has played worse tonight or last week. C'MON COLTS!! 11:14 pm

    or anyone who obsessively live updates their facebook.

  12. JenniferUofR says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 20096:28 pm 

    Casey BWAHAHAHAH Yes, those girls belong on it!

  13. sam says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 20097:34 pm 

    Casey: so you seriously criticize every artice on this website except for the "coupled" articles?

    i seriously think you hate everything not having to do with your relationship/single people.

  14. belle says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 200910:03 pm 

    hahaha sam, that is so true…i wonder why casey even visits this website, seems she takes offense at most everything on it

    statuses should be reserved for only things which are incredibly witty and entertaining or for public requests like if you've lost your phone and need new numbers (cheerleader uniform seems perfectly acceptable in that sense)

    finals girl is boring, husband/baby's ass girl is disgusting and over-sharing, mom message is AGAIN over-sharing as well as fishing for people to ask her what is wrong, hana is just annoying and asking to be smacked…

  15. laura says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 200910:08 pm 

    haha this is a funny tyler oakley video about status updates:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTURUvBqO5I

  16. Casey says:
    Sun, 20th Dec 20099:17 am 

    Sam, because the coupled articles don't have some dumb girl recounting some dumb story of fucking some dumb frat guy and then wondering why she either 1. has an STD, 2. the guy wont talk to her anymore, 3. why she's becoming a FWB when she wants to be his girlfriend, etc. etc. etc.

    Because the girl who writes those stories actually seems to have some common sense and a good head on her shoulders.

    But I don't even criticize every article, not that it matters considering even when I make a positive comment I still get assholes like you and belle who want to start an argument. Seriously, what was the point of that comment? Was I the only one who said something negative about this article? no. Was I being rude or a bitch about the article? no. I just said those statuses were nothing to get irritated over, which they aren't.

    But I guess it makes sense that the two of you would get irritated by statuses of the like since you get irritated by comments that don't just say "yay! good article!"

    You know, here's a thought. Maybe if you guys didn't try and start arguments with me simply because I write a comment (because it's evident the contents of my comments don't make any difference, just that I post one in the first place) then I wouldn't be replying to so many assholes and there would be far fewer of my comments for you to get annoyed with. But I guess to figure that out takes common sense, something you evidently don't have.

    At least my initial comments always stay on topic. All yours do are make the comments section all about me, EVERY TIME. So don't get irritated with me, get irritated with yourselves.

  17. Rob says:
    Sun, 20th Dec 200911:47 am 

    yay! good article!

  18. sam says:
    Sun, 20th Dec 200912:15 pm 

    just saying, you believe that EVERY damn single girl goes out, gets drunk, has sex with random guys (which you are totally not okay with), then wines about it. honestly, you are not more mature because you are in a relationship. not all single chicks do this! i've just been noticing this trend with you, and thought i should point it out. some single people have a pretty good head on their shoulders, you should get to know them, instead of hating them! you have a lot of anger at the single people!

    Rob: hahaha! nice comment!

  19. Allison Keough says:
    Sun, 20th Dec 20094:59 pm 

    To Laura

    FYI…went to HS with Tyler, and I find it hilarious to see him popping up everywhere.

    This is hilarious!

  20. Jill says:
    Mon, 21st Dec 20097:24 pm 

    I think the point of this is to showcase that a Facebook status is unimportant and irrelevant (and at times hilarious because no one cares). If you want to know what someone is doing at that particular second check out Instant Messanger or call them–don't leave it on a Facebook wall for it to fill up my news feed.

  21. Zahra- Northwestern University says:
    Tue, 22nd Dec 20096:08 am 

    Kelly, I like your choices. I’m fine when people update with academic stuff, but whenever people put their rejection on blast it just makes me feel kinda sad for them…which I guess is the point? Haha

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