Tis The Season for Ugly Sweaters

When I walk through my local Salvation Army or thrift store, I fully expect to be assaulted by an abundance of glittery, jingly, horrendously ugly Christmas sweaters. That is where they belong, after all. Once a trendy item among soccer moms, those same women have since woken up from their chardonnay-induced comas and realized that no one should be wearing something with a fuzzy/light up Christmas tree on the back. So they donate them to the needy.

By Candy

And by the needy I mean those of us with an Ugly Sweater Party coming up that need the ugliest top we can find.

When I was walking through my neighborhood department store last week, then, I was more than surprised (revolted might be a better word) when I came across an abundance of these things hanging on the walls. Yes, brand new Christmas sweaters – as in they were designed and manufactured in 2009 – for sale! Which means that people are still buying these fugly things. And I mean fugly.

I went in for a closer look (after making sure there was no one around to witness it); it took my eyes a bit of time to adjust to the florescent light bouncing off the sequins but when they finally did I was nearly blinded by the price. Seriously, some of these things cost as much as a good pair of designer heels. It’s like people are paying extra for the fug. WTF?!

I don’t know why these things still exist or who is letting their loved ones stock up, but they’re out there. In places you’d never expect. What you are about to see is real. And it’s really happening right now. Brace yourself; it’s not pretty.