Battle of the D-Bags: Spencer Pratt vs. “The Situation” [POLL]

It looks like those New Jersey Italians aren’t the only ones with prosciutto beef about MTV’s latest trainwreck, Jersey Shore. Another MTV “star” has his boxers in a bunch about the newest reality series to sweep America off its feet. Yes, everyone’s favorite ass-hat, Spencer Pratt, isn’t so happy with all the attention those overly tanned guidos have been getting.

“Spencer can feel the press moving away from him and on to the cast members of ‘Jersey Shore.’ He is desperate to keep his 15 minutes going. It’s all he has and blames MTV for paying more attention to the new show than to his old show,” laughs a TV executive.

And he should be mad. A tanner, stronger, 6-packier loser has taken his place as MTV’s biggest douche: the one and only Situation. Or has he? I mean, it’s really hard to tell which moron is a bigger dbag, but let’s try.

Workin’

Spencer Pratt: Being the evil freeloading antagonist of the world who whores himself out to anyone who will give him a buck.

The Situation:  Partying, hot-tubbing, “romantically” courting girls off the side of the street. Oh, and he also happens to sell t-shirts on the boardwalk.

Ladies

Spencer Pratt: Heidi Montag.  For the love of God, do NOT even get me started.

The Situation: Every girl he comes in contact with on the Jersey Shore.  If she’s hot, semi-hot, pretty, cute, or if he’s drunk enough and she answers yes to his favorite pick-up line – “Are you feeling me?” – there’s not a doubt he will try his dambdest to get her in the infamous hot tub.

Douche-isms

Spencer Pratt: “Well, I’m trying to be a billionaire before 30…I definitely want to go into politics later in my life. I plan to be governor, at least, and president if possible.” Big dreams, Spencer.  I’d rather live in the deserts of Africa than live in a land with you in charge.

The Situation: “This situation is gonna be indescribable. You can’t even describe the situation that you’re about to get into the situation.”  WTF? Is that English? Guido-ish? It sounds eerily similar to something George W. Bush would let leak out of his mouth.

Battles

Spencer Pratt: Lauren Conrad, Al Roker, his own sister…or everyone on this planet.  If this doesn’t make your blood boil a little bit, I honestly don’t know what will.

The Situation: Besides Angelina, the self proclaimed “Kim Kardashian of Staten Island,” and his love interest gone bad, Sammi “The Sweetheart,” the only battles The Situation is having are on the dance floor. To house music. Where he beats the beat.

Look-at-Me-Ness

Spencer Pratt:  Loves being the villain.  No matter how it affects people, he will wipe his butt with your feelings. And he’ll teach you all about it in his new book!

The Situation: With “I love the Situation” underwear, mugs, and even clothes for dogs, I don’t think this Guido minds one bit.  He even admits, “I’ll be honest, I like the attention. I’m flattered if there are guys with different preferences that have crushes on me.” (Those guys obviously have something wrong with them.)

Damn, You Fugly

Spencer Pratt:  Two words: Blond Goatee. I guess some people like that sort of thing…. just not me. Or every single person I know.

The Situation: Besides the abs, which he spends 85% of his time working on, his face isn’t anything special.  That is if I can get past the schnoz/razor sharp hair on his head.

Seriously, picking the bigger douchebag out of these two is harder than watching an entire episode of Real World/Road Rules: The Ruins. I think I hate them both equally and I know the world would be a much better place if these two fought each other to the death. And took Heidi down with them.

What do you think?