Eight Ways to Ruin a Good Relationship
Brace yourself, ladies: We are now entering Break up Season. According to a study released in 2007 by Yahoo!, this little span of time between the December holidays and Valentine’s Day happens to be the period when most couples head to Splitsville. (Geez – Is it really that bad to have to buy someone some roses?!)
I don’t know about you, but it took me a really long to find a guy I can stand to spend more than 10 minutes with, so I’m willing to do just about anything to make sure we make it through February and beyond. Well, not anything; I’m not giving up SATC reruns or scooping peanut butter out of the jar for anybody. Not even the boyf.
In order to help you keep your relationship in working order as well, I’m here to clue you in on 8 surefire ways to KILL that fabulous relationship you’ve got goin’ on. Engage in any of these flame-squelching behaviors and you’ll be ladeling out that Edy’s Slow Churned in front of the TV all by your lonesome come V-Day.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
1. Talk about wanting babies. College guys are only thinking about four B’s: booze, bongs, boobs and birth control.
2. Talk to your mom about him…and tell him about it. This is how it works in his head: Talking to your mother about him = you think you’re getting married…and he runs away. Screaming. Trust me on this one.
3. Living together too soon. I’ve seen a lot of otherwise happy couples turn into raging lunatics once they decide to shack up; even spending too much time at each other’s houses can turn into a nightmare. Just think about it: nothing about shopping for toilet paper together screams romance.
4. Texting ALL THE TIME. Constant communication is really not necessary to maintain a relationship. In fact, it can be the thing that kills one. I understand wanting to be a part of your boyfriend’s life, but is his day-to-day (or the few hours you don’t see him) really that exciting? I’ve come to realize there is a formula for college guy’s lives and it goes a little something like this: Wake up. Poop. Shower. Go to class. Eat. Poop again. Work. Get drunk. Sleep. Repeat. If you don’t talk to him for a few hours, you’re not really missing much. (And, come on, do you really want him texting you from the bathroom?)
5. Obsessing over your ex. Nobody likes to hear about anybody else’s ex. Your friends don’t even wanna hear you obsess about him – do you think your boyfriend will?
6. Inviting him home to meet your family. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT invite anyone home with you until you are absolutely 100% sure that you are in an actual relationship. Luda summed it up best: “Don’t wanna meet your mama, just want to make you…” Inviting the frat boy you drunkenly (and sloppily) made out with last weekend to meet your pops will stop whatever chance there ever was at blossoming romance. (There is a chance, right??)
7. Trying to be “One of the Guys.” It’s awesome if you two can share some interests – watch football together, or something – but it’s another thing to try to weasel your way into every Poker Night, Taco Tuesday or Wacky Wednesday get-together. Everybody needs time with their own kind every once in awhile. Just like you wouldn’t care to have him come along to get a pedi with your friends (and would be slightly worried if he agreed), he doesn’t need you there to enjoy “Toozday Boozday” with the guys.
8. Jealousy and Insecurity. On a more serious note, jealousy and insecurity is the NUMBER ONE relationship killer. If you’re not totally convinced that you’re a bad *ss chick with sassiness to spare, how can your guy believe it?
I’m sure there are plenty more ways to kill relationships (and I’ve probably tried them all!) What are some relationship killers you’ve witnessed?