Eight Ways to Ruin a Good Relationship

January 4, 2010 4:00 pm     Posted in Relationships  Erica - Kent State University g+ page

"I never want to be apart from you. Ever ever.

Brace yourself, ladies: We are now entering Break up Season. According to a study released in 2007 by Yahoo!, this little span of time between the December holidays and Valentine’s Day happens to be the period when most couples head to Splitsville. (Geez – Is it really that bad to have to buy someone some roses?!)


By Erica

I don’t know about you, but it took me a really long to find a guy I can stand to spend more than 10 minutes with, so I’m willing to do just about anything to make sure we make it through February and beyond. Well, not anything; I’m not giving up SATC reruns or scooping peanut butter out of the jar for anybody. Not even the boyf.

In order to help you keep your relationship in working order as well, I’m here to clue you in on 8 surefire ways to KILL that fabulous relationship you’ve got goin’ on. Engage in any of these flame-squelching behaviors and you’ll be ladeling out that Edy’s Slow Churned in front of the TV all by your lonesome come V-Day.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

1. Talk about wanting babies. College guys are only thinking about four B’s: booze, bongs, boobs and birth control.

2. Talk to your mom about him…and tell him about it. This is how it works in his head: Talking to your mother about him = you think you’re getting married…and he runs away. Screaming. Trust me on this one.

3. Living together too soon. I’ve seen a lot of otherwise happy couples turn into raging lunatics once they decide to shack up; even spending too much time at each other’s houses can turn into a nightmare. Just think about it: nothing about shopping for toilet paper together screams romance.

4. Texting ALL THE TIME. Constant communication is really not necessary to maintain a relationship. In fact, it can be the thing that kills one. I understand wanting to be a part of your boyfriend’s life, but is his day-to-day (or the few hours you don’t see him) really that exciting? I’ve come to realize there is a formula for college guy’s lives and it goes a little something like this: Wake up. Poop. Shower. Go to class. Eat. Poop again. Work. Get drunk. Sleep. Repeat. If you don’t talk to him for a few hours, you’re not really missing much. (And, come on, do you really want him texting you from the bathroom?)

5. Obsessing over your ex. Nobody likes to hear about anybody else’s ex. Your friends don’t even wanna hear you obsess about him – do you think your boyfriend will?

6. Inviting him home to meet your family. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT invite anyone home with you until you are absolutely 100% sure that you are in an actual relationship. Luda summed it up best: “Don’t wanna meet your mama, just want to make you…” Inviting the frat boy you drunkenly (and sloppily) made out with last weekend to meet your pops will stop whatever chance there ever was at blossoming romance. (There is a chance, right??)

7. Trying to be “One of the Guys.” It’s awesome if you two can share some interests – watch football together, or something – but it’s another thing to try to weasel your way into every Poker Night, Taco Tuesday or Wacky Wednesday get-together. Everybody needs time with their own kind every once in awhile. Just like you wouldn’t care to have him come along to get a pedi with your friends (and would be slightly worried if he agreed), he doesn’t need you there to enjoy “Toozday Boozday” with the guys.

8. Jealousy and Insecurity. On a more serious note, jealousy and insecurity is the NUMBER ONE relationship killer. If you’re not totally convinced that you’re a bad *ss chick with sassiness to spare, how can your guy believe it?

I’m sure there are plenty more ways to kill relationships (and I’ve probably tried them all!) What are some relationship killers you’ve witnessed?

21 Comments on "Eight Ways to Ruin a Good Relationship"

  1. Alli says:
    Mon, 4th Jan 201011:53 am 

    Not to be a stickler, but wasn't it Andre 3000 who said the mama line?

  2. channing says:
    Mon, 4th Jan 20101:27 pm 

    yeah, it was def outkast

  3. Lisa says:
    Mon, 4th Jan 20101:55 pm 

    Um. if you're both mature people, which while some people would like to deny it, is pretty necessary for a relationship…Most of these shouldn't be any sort of problem. My boyfriend loves it when I talk about babies and our future and involving him in my family and if it weren't for my lack of income we'd be living together and we text pretty much all day and he loves that I can hang out with the boys and he loves when I get a little jealous. Overdoing ANYTHING can ruin ANYTHING but it's not really correct to say any of these things are a way to ruin a relationship.

  4. Erica - Kent State U says:
    Mon, 4th Jan 20105:28 pm 

    Yeah..it was definitely Outkast…and I definitely wrote this at 10 a.m. after a night of heavy drinking. Or something.

  5. Miriam says:
    Mon, 4th Jan 20106:15 pm 

    Nice article, except the title is wrong. In a "good relationship", you should be able to tell your boyfriend whatever the hell you want to tell him, and he should WANT to meet your family–let alone accept your invitation home.

    The title of this article should be "eight ways to ruin a relationship that doesn't even exist".

  6. Casey says:
    Mon, 4th Jan 20106:56 pm 

    Ha ha Mirian! That last line is hilarious! and so true!

    I agree with Miriam and Lisa. My boyfriend and I do all of these things, sans #'s 5 and 6. In fact, HE was the one who introduced me to his family first, he wanted babies and I didn't (now neither of us do), I actually met him because I was "one of the guys" with our group of friends, he texts me just as often if not more than I text him, and I moved in with him after 8 months of dating because he got sick, we will have been dating for 2 years on the 27th and our relationship couldn't be better.

    So yeah, I second Miriam and Lisa, if these things break the relationship then you probably don't have one to begin with.

  7. LC says:
    Tue, 5th Jan 201010:06 am 

    OMG. I think I've committed 7 out of the 8 sins! eekk! The ones I commit most often is 7 and 8.

  8. Riko says:
    Tue, 5th Jan 201012:52 pm 

    I'm worried for one of my bffs because she seems to be hitting all of these marks. For example instead of coming home for christmas, she stayed with her bf up at college. i think she's moving too fast but of course she won't listen to me, i'm the "single girl"

  9. Shane says:
    Wed, 6th Jan 20107:52 am 

    Yes! Toozday Boozeday! Another excuse to get drunk during the week. Nice article.

  10. Symiara says:
    Wed, 13th Jan 20106:35 am 

    You wrote everything I was thinking , this is the same advice I give my friends and they do not listen . I began to think I was the only one who understood this sort of thing . Wonderful Article !

  11. NIcole says:
    Thu, 14th Jan 20107:02 am 

    I totally agree this is for if you have a relationship that doesn't exist. My boyfriend and I talk about babies marriage everything. He is the one that brings it up. And we definitely met each others family within a couple weeks of dating because we wanted to meet the people that were closest to each other. Most of this stuff doesn't apply

  12. Liz says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20104:41 pm 

    I've known my guy my entire life and we just now started actually seeing each other but we've already done most of these things. He's met pretty much my entire family, the other day he was talking about how one time he was at a restaurant with my family and I wasn't there. We talk about our exs because we've known each other through all of them. We text a lot just because he doesn't live anywhere near me, but I always wait for him to text me first. And I hang out with his friends when he's no where around. I guess we're just a weird situation though :)

  13. kiki says:
    Mon, 25th Jan 20101:19 pm 

    taking him to meet your family is not a bad thing. I did, and he ven wanted his parents to meet mine.

  14. criolle johnny says:
    Tue, 23rd Mar 201012:42 pm 

    "he should WANT to meet your family"

    I just LOVE women who tell me what I SHOULD want, and what I should FEEL, what I SHOULD find attractive.

    I WANT to spend the rest of my life with THAT woman.

  15. jennyct says:
    Mon, 11th Apr 20119:32 am 

    Isn't it cool that people are all different? Same with relationships. Yes, there are some things that scream "psycho" …. but in my case, it was him who was talking babies and marriage just weeks into the relationship. It was him that wanted to be together all the time, etc, etc.

    We will be together for 20 and married for 15 :)

  16. amy says:
    Sat, 24th Sep 20116:27 pm 

    how the hell did i get here? my boyfriend is nothing like the mainstream "college boy" hes a college MAN studying for a future, not a frat BOY, who shouldnt even have a future.
    thanks for poisoning paranoid minds. i see your a little older in the pic. start acting like it.

  17. Dante says:
    Fri, 30th Mar 201210:49 pm 

    1. Talk about wanting babies. College guys are only thinking about four B’s: booze, bongs, boobs and birth control.

    I don't feel threatened by a woman talking about wanting babies. I actually prefer a woman to have said goal in mind when it comes to our future. It means she's actually seeing us as having a future.

    2. Talk to your mom about him…and tell him about it. This is how it works in his head: Talking to your mother about him = you think you’re getting married…and he runs away. Screaming. Trust me on this one.

    I don't mind this either, provided she's not talking too much. Certain details are better left in the bedroom. I find it offensive when my private life is exposed to those outside the relationship.

    3. Living together too soon. I’ve seen a lot of otherwise happy couples turn into raging lunatics once they decide to shack up; even spending too much time at each other’s houses can turn into a nightmare. Just think about it: nothing about shopping for toilet paper together screams romance.

    HA!!! No such thing as too soon. My best relationships were ironically all with people that were willing to live with me within a week or two. My worst ones were with wishy-washy fence sitters that couldn't commit to anything.

    4. Texting ALL THE TIME. Constant communication is really not necessary to maintain a relationship. In fact, it can be the thing that kills one. I understand wanting to be a part of your boyfriend’s life, but is his day-to-day (or the few hours you don’t see him) really that exciting? I’ve come to realize there is a formula for college guy’s lives and it goes a little something like this: Wake up. Poop. Shower. Go to class. Eat. Poop again. Work. Get drunk. Sleep. Repeat. If you don’t talk to him for a few hours, you’re not really missing much. (And, come on, do you really want him texting you from the bathroom?)

    Text me. By all means. Text me. I don't mind. I actually appreciate the connection.

    5. Obsessing over your ex. Nobody likes to hear about anybody else’s ex. Your friends don’t even wanna hear you obsess about him – do you think your boyfriend will?

    Yeah. Obsessing about your ex is fucking annoying. I dated someone that did that all the time and I eventually ended the relationship to preserve my sanity.

    6. Inviting him home to meet your family. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT invite anyone home with you until you are absolutely 100% sure that you are in an actual relationship. Luda summed it up best: “Don’t wanna meet your mama, just want to make you…” Inviting the frat boy you drunkenly (and sloppily) made out with last weekend to meet your pops will stop whatever chance there ever was at blossoming romance. (There is a chance, right??)

    I don't mind meeting mom and dad…as long as it's not everyday or even every week.

    7. Trying to be “One of the Guys.” It’s awesome if you two can share some interests – watch football together, or something – but it’s another thing to try to weasel your way into every Poker Night, Taco Tuesday or Wacky Wednesday get-together. Everybody needs time with their own kind every once in awhile. Just like you wouldn’t care to have him come along to get a pedi with your friends (and would be slightly worried if he agreed), he doesn’t need you there to enjoy “Toozday Boozday” with the guys.

    I'm a guy…and I don't like hanging out with other guys. I'd much rather hang out with my girlfriend alone or with her friends. Other guys are annoying as fuck.

    8. Jealousy and Insecurity. On a more serious note, jealousy and insecurity is the NUMBER ONE relationship killer. If you’re not totally convinced that you’re a bad *ss chick with sassiness to spare, how can your guy believe it?

    Actually, the number one relationship killer is cheating whores (be they male or female) and their apologists. I don't mind if a girl gets jealous, nor am I offended if she's insecure. If anything I'm far more likely to spend time building our relationship. Girls like that just need extra couple time. Girls like that also tend to be the kind of girl you want to marry.

  18. @undefined says:
    Tue, 16th Oct 20124:50 pm 

    Hmmm…Despite all of the negativity from the comments above I would tend to agree with you. No matter how freaking mature a guy may seem he doesn't want wedding bells in his face the minute he meets you!! Sorry, bitches <3

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