4 Things We Hate About Sex

Sex = good. Waking up with some guys junk rubbing against your butt = not so good.

Contrary to popular belief, we girls enjoy a good old romp in the hay as much as guys do (probably more, if you happen to be me).  Sex in the bedroom, sex in the shower, sex in the stacks….well, you get the idea.  Sex is great. Grand. WONDERFUL.

But there are some things about sexy time that we can all agree are not so great, grand or wonderful. (Editor’s Note: Like getting preggers.) Even guys have their gripes! No matter how mind-blowing, how crazy, or how many of our roommates can hear our screams of pleasure, there are 4 things about sex that we just plain HATE.

1. Next-Day Body Aches
Everyone loves a slumber party with their boy toy, but not so much the pain that ensues the next day (especially if we happen to be lucky enough to find a guy with a…um….bigger friend).  Your inner thighs throb, your butt muscles ache, your vajay hurts to the touch…er…wipe. And if things get a little crazy, you’ve got rug (or t-shirt sheet) burn on your back, elbows and knees.  And don’t even get me started on the pain that comes with a UTI. One night o’ passion can knock you out for days.

2. Nice (or naughty) Girls Finish Last
Studies show that less than 30% of women are able to achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse.  As opposed to, um, 100% of guys!?!? What gives?  Even us lucky ladies who are able to reach the big O know that our guy will almost always come first (and if “first” happens to mean “two minutes in,” well, I don’t want to talk about it).  There’s nothing worse than a few minutes of a guy huffing and puffing on top of us, then rolling over and falling asleep while we lie there, bored and unsatisfied.

3. Ick. Ew. Gross.
Sex is a beautiful thing…in theory. The actual act is all sorts of awkward and dirty. Like when our guy’s on top dripping sweat into our hair and eyes. Or that weird fart noise that happens when two sweaty bodies collide. Or the sight of two 36-Cs flopping around. Or having lube on our hands, in our hair, and everywhere else imaginable. Or, worst of all, the big old’ wet spot conveniently located in the middle of the bed. Which is exactly where we end up passing out for the night.

4. Birth Control
Okay, so this one is necessary, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it. Especially when guys just sorta expect us to be on it these days. And, yeah, having no pregnancy scares is a great thing, but the slew of side effects from those itty bitty pills sometimes makes pregnancy look appealing (I mean, at least then we’d have an excuse for packing on the pounds). Not only does The Pill make us moody, irritable and fat, but long-term use of oral contraceptives can cause strokes and heart attacks in the future. And there’s nothing I hate more than a heart attack.

What are your biggest between-the-sheets gripes?



  1. amanda says:

    i just had a UTI and now a painful yeast infection from the antibiotic so right now….i hate sex.

  2. M says:

    You forgot to mention that those of us who use condoms have to go through an entire mood-ruining ordeal each time while the guy puts it on. I. Hate. That.

  3. Lauren - University says:

    I totally agree, M. Not only does it kill the mood, but you have to stop everything, remember where the damn things are, deal with the wrapper and turn on some lights to make sure the thing is going on right. Or just hope for the best in the dark. SO annoying.

  4. NG says:

    I'm in a monogamous relationship with my man and on BC…so we don't use condoms…but some days when we end up spending most of the day in bed…going a few times in a row, I wish we did. I hate them so I don't ask him to use them but I also HATEEEEE having to "clean up" after EVERY go-round…know it's a bit of a TMI but having to clean cum off of your abdomen (chest, neck, hair, etc.) gets really old after the 2nd or so time! …and there's no way I'm gonna let him (or he would) finish inside…so for now, it's just a necessary evil…it's usually well worth the reward anyhow. ;)

  5. K says:

    I hate queefs. Eek! So embarrassing, but yet usually hysterical if with the right partner — still a major mood killer.

  6. Megan says:

    Ughh I HATE the mess. I feel so gross afterward I feel like I have to shower. And I feel like the two times I got UTIs were because I didn't shower afterward. But I guess I do like showering with my boyfriend after sex. It's like the second phase of cuddling!

  7. Kalyn says:

    yes to UTIs. i used to get them after EVERY. TIME. with my ex. so terrible. and to top it off, i'm super sensitive in *that* area, so if i don't have just the right condom i'll feel horrible for days.

  8. Julie says:

    I feel your pain, K.

    Queefs are so cringe-worthy! My boyfriend and I always just laugh it off but I'm still secretly mortified.

    Cleaning up after sex (after he makes the mess hah)is also such a mood-killer. I'm lucky that my boyfriend never falls asleep right after sex and loves to cuddle, but I hate the part where right after he finishes we barely kiss before awkwardly trying to find a towel. Not so fun.

    1. ty 122999 says:

      SEX ty

  9. Arielle - Quinnipiac says:

    Such a good article!! There are so many things that suck about sex but no one ever writes about it, great job ! THE MESS .. i HATE the mess !! Especially "cleaning up" afterward … ugh such a pain.

  10. says:

    I feel that a guy should always let the girl cum first…"Ladies First" rule should apply!

  11. […] Candy lists 4 (only 4?!) things to hate about sex (though we take issue with […]

  12. […] But as much as we’d like to take him back to our place, there are still a few things we hate about sexy time. Regardless of his […]

  13. Sarah says:

    My biggest problem is birth control completely DRAINING my sex drive. I am 21, I should want to get it all the time right? But no, never. I would rather sleep…or eat some chocolate and watch HBO haha. I just switched pills and am praying things change!

  14. Mika says:

    In regards to issue #2 I'm one of the few fortunate ladies that not only cums vaginally, I also have multiples, each and every time. I guess I've just been blessed.

    It's times like this being in the minority is f***** awesome!

  15. flgm says:

    sexy hot sex

  16. Kevin says:

    #2 – My wife and I both have multiples. Took a while to learn but it is SOOOO worth it!


  17. Kevin says:

    #2 – My wife and I both have multiples. Took a while to learn but it is SOOOO worth it!

  18. fea02 says:

    great article!My boy and I cuddle afterwards too. To avoid cleaning my sheets all the time i have designated sex sheet that I put on top of my bed sheets idk if its gross but it decreases the constant cleaning…

  19. Brit says:

    Sarah – I feel your pain. We are the same age and experiencing the exact same phenomena. Sometimes I think it may just be my boring comfortable relationship w/ the bf because I am totally sexually turned on by (some) other guys…What to do?!

  20. mollination says:

    Yeah, queefing even has a terrible name. It's air that got pushed into my vajay because my guy has a great big dick, so why do we need to give it such a hideous name? lol

    I Just did it recently but I knew i had to, so I was like "uh, wait a sec (did it), k, fuck me" and suprisingly that made neither of us feel awkward, humorous, or weird. It just put the mood right back where it needed to be. When weird shit happens during sex – and it does, like all the time, WHY!?!? – I try to just act so turned on and animalistic that I barely had the attention left over to notice it. It helps at least.

    But the wet spot on the bed! Hilarious!!

  21. loling says:

    This article made me lol like crazy. I don't have any close girl friends so I never talk to anyone about sex. It's funny and nice knowing that everyone experiences these things!

    I love sex, even with all the above things. I think they are part of what makes sex so special and perfect with someone you really love!

    We waited over a year to start having sex, and I am sooo glad because there are so many awkward things that would be weird with someone you're not completely comfortable with.

    Even with the negative aspects, sex rocks!

  22. Dezzi says:

    Sex-yummy…… More annoying-when your man won't cum in you even though you are on the pill-can you say paranoid?-so even bigger mess! But makes for a could facial ;)

    1. TY 12299 says:


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  24. ricki says:

    how about making sure you are nicely groomed. that's a pain

  25. […] Did It? The two of you have found a great rhythm and you’re almost there when all of a sudden- what was that!?  Before you can think, you blurt out, “I swear I didn’t fart!”  That’s when things come […]

  26. Guest says:

    There are no good men to do it with.

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