Contrary to popular belief, we girls enjoy a good old romp in the hay as much as guys do (probably more, if you happen to be me). Sex in the bedroom, sex in the shower, sex in the stacks….well, you get the idea. Sex is great. Grand. WONDERFUL.
But there are some things about sexy time that we can all agree are not so great, grand or wonderful. (Editor’s Note: Like getting preggers.) Even guys have their gripes! No matter how mind-blowing, how crazy, or how many of our roommates can hear our screams of pleasure, there are 4 things about sex that we just plain HATE.
1. Next-Day Body Aches
Everyone loves a slumber party with their boy toy, but not so much the pain that ensues the next day (especially if we happen to be lucky enough to find a guy with a…um….bigger friend). Your inner thighs throb, your butt muscles ache, your vajay hurts to the touch…er…wipe. And if things get a little crazy, you’ve got rug (or t-shirt sheet) burn on your back, elbows and knees. And don’t even get me started on the pain that comes with a UTI. One night o’ passion can knock you out for days.
2. Nice (or naughty) Girls Finish Last
Studies show that less than 30% of women are able to achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse. As opposed to, um, 100% of guys!?!? What gives? Even us lucky ladies who are able to reach the big O know that our guy will almost always come first (and if “first” happens to mean “two minutes in,” well, I don’t want to talk about it). There’s nothing worse than a few minutes of a guy huffing and puffing on top of us, then rolling over and falling asleep while we lie there, bored and unsatisfied.
3. Ick. Ew. Gross.
Sex is a beautiful thing…in theory. The actual act is all sorts of awkward and dirty. Like when our guy’s on top dripping sweat into our hair and eyes. Or that weird fart noise that happens when two sweaty bodies collide. Or the sight of two 36-Cs flopping around. Or having lube on our hands, in our hair, and everywhere else imaginable. Or, worst of all, the big old’ wet spot conveniently located in the middle of the bed. Which is exactly where we end up passing out for the night.
4. Birth Control
Okay, so this one is necessary, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it. Especially when guys just sorta expect us to be on it these days. And, yeah, having no pregnancy scares is a great thing, but the slew of side effects from those itty bitty pills sometimes makes pregnancy look appealing (I mean, at least then we’d have an excuse for packing on the pounds). Not only does The Pill make us moody, irritable and fat, but long-term use of oral contraceptives can cause strokes and heart attacks in the future. And there’s nothing I hate more than a heart attack.
What are your biggest between-the-sheets gripes?