5 Guys Who Should Be Banned From Dating Sites

Recently, BeautifulPeople.com – an online dating service for, well, beautiful people – cleansed itself of its fatter members. After receiving customer complaints (from some ridiculously good looking people, I presume), the website went through and kicked out anyone with a little extra junk in their trunk.

While I’m happy I was never a member of such a shallow and douchey organization (mostly because I would have been one of the many kicked off, thanks to my love of anything frosted), this move to improve the service for members got me thinking about my own online dating experiences.

I’ve been a member of an online dating site for a year now. I have yet to find the love of my life, but I have had a few good dates… and way too many creepy interactions to count. Seriously, these sites will let anyone with a computer and $29.99 a month to join. And I mean anyone. I’d like to believe that there is someone out there for me and that taking my dating online will increase my chances of finding him, but it’s nearly impossible to stay optimistic when this guy is sending me messages daily.

So maybe BeautifulPeople.com took things a tad too far (What – only thin people can be considered beautiful??), but as long as we’re on the subject, I’ve got a few online daters of my own that should get the boot. You listening, JDate?

1. The Creepy Guys: Including (but not limited to): 55-year-old men who hit on 21-year-old girls; anyone who refers to me as “baby,” “sexy,” or “hottie” in an email; guys who send photos of their genitalia (TRUE STORY); and guys who email asking for photos of my genitalia.

2. Only-One-Pic Guy: There are two types of guys I’ll never trust: those without Facebook profiles and those with only one picture posted to their online dating profiles. Whatcha hiding, man?

3. “Sexy” Shirtless Guy: If there’s one thing worse than a guy with no pics, it’s the guy who whips out his iPhone in the bathroom and does “sexy” shirtless poses in front of the mirror. I’m looking for love here, dude, not a guy who loves his (hairy) self.

4. Foreigners: I’ve got nothing against foreign men – how can you not love a sexy accent – but I just do not understand the weirdo guys from Russia, Japan and other non-English speaking countries who email me in their native tongue. How did you find me? Why are you flirting with a girl on the other side of the world who has no idea what you’re saying? Is it considered sexy in your country for men to wear really tight pants, unbutton the top 5 buttons on their shirt and show off gaudy gold chains?

5. Looking for a Booty Call Guy: There are far cheaper and easier ways to get in a girl’s pants than a monthly membership to this site, sir. Have you ever tried a bar? And if you’re just looking for a little cyber sex, there’s an AOL chatroom with your name (or “Sexy Singles Looking To Mingle 48) on it.



  1. […] [Head over to CollegeCandy.com for 5 Guys Who Should be Banned From Dating Sites] […]

  2. Nel says:

    umm the no foreigners one got kind of offensive. I agree that it makes no sense for someone who doesn't speak your language to start emailing you in their's and expect a relationship but the tight pants and gold chains seemed kind of excessive

  3. Brooke says:

    chill out Nel, she's just speaking from her own experience

  4. Liz says:

    I hate the creepy guys who repeatedly hit up my profile and constantly ask me out. True story, I have this one guy who has friend requested me on facebook, myspace and this one dating site multiple times and just wont quit. No is no.

  5. […] But how do we get a boyfriend anyway when these freaks are taking over the online dating […]

  6. Jen says:

    Well…that site is clearly as shallow as a tyipical stuck up teenager…..sad.

    But yeah, I HATE older guys who hit on me and call me baby and assume it dosn’t creep me out, I wanna grab their junk but not for what they think.

  7. valkyrie9 says:

    I'm just waiting for some troll to come around (as they always do with these articles) saying WHY U BITHCHEZZ SO PICKY CUZ YOU AINT WANTIN SUM 50 YR OLD CREEPR HUH HUH!!!!!!1!!1!!!!!!1!!111eleven!!1

  8. Eclectic Sheep says:

    Dude, that hairy guy totally has the same bed that I had when I was six! How's that for a coincidence? (Also, he totally looks like the kind of guy who would have a bumper sticker that says "No Fat Chicks" non-ironically)

  9. I was with you until the detour into xenophobia. But I came back with the picture of your suitor. A weapon that close to the crotch seems ill advised.

    A round of price-is-right fail horns for dudes 1 -3, 5.

  10. HikNCMt says:

    I hate dudes that constantly ask me for photos.

  11. brandi says:

    Why is everyone getting angry? She said nothing derogatory about foreigners. I hate getting requested on facebook from people who live half way across the world. How is that not creepy?

  12. Hey can someone point a good website about How find the perfect dating partner?;~*

  13. BOBBYG says:

    WOMEN HAVE PISSY ATTITUDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. i love to date asian women because they are classy, i also love to date european women:-~

  15. […] has completely changed the way we, as a society, come together.  From Twitter to Foursquare, J-Date to Match.com, gone are the days of quainter communication.  Forget about lying in bed twirling the phone cord […]

  16. […] that this has actually become the core to my dating philosophy for not only myself but my clients.  Online dating sites want everyone to believe that it is where everyone is meeting their significant other, but the […]

  17. […] spend a lot of time on the Internet. I read my news online. I shop online. I have even tried dating online. And in all my time (hours upon hours a day), I’ve never found a website quite as awesome as […]

  18. Lacey says:

    The user name luvthelions on Match.com is a player. He will say all the right words to wooo you in.
    When you go on a date he invites you over to his house. As you are leaving to out he turns the inside lights on and the stereo. Then luvthelions turns to you and says let's take your car. He does this because while your out one of his other girlfriends is probably wondering where he is so she drives by his house. With his crappy Ford Escort in the driveway and the lights are on the non suspecting girlfriend thinks he is at home. You know his favorite spots to go but you will never see his car in the parking lot. Why because like I said before he is out in someone else's car. Oh ya he will tell you all the sweet nothing a woman wants to here. When he can't see you it's because he has "family" things to do. Like take care of his sickly aunt on Friday or Saturday night. Now c'mon who does this? You will think he is a great "family" man for this. He will tell you that you are the best relationship he has ever had. When you are in deep he reposts his profile back on Match.com. But does it only when he knows you will not be near a computer. In fear you will find it. Ladies the bottom Line stay away from luvthelions. He is bad for woman. Here is the link to his profile

  19. Guy says:

    I will just make a brief on number 2. Some people choose to only give their facebook to people they are close with. So internet "strangers" should not get offended by this. Also, some people choose to not have an online photo album of themselves. If you are more worried about how many pics they have posted of themselves rather than how well you two mesh, then something's wrong.

  20. […] profile on a site that was accessed by far too many people I didn’t know (many of which who were freaks of nature) kind of freaked me out. That said, I’m not knocking it entirely– I got a couple of good […]

  21. Anonymous says:

    I'm not sure how I ended up on this article (I'm rather high right now), but I think this article is rather idiotic. Your five "Guys Who Should Be Banned From Dating Sites" list calls out a fair amount of people whom don't deserve. Many people say "baby, sexy, [and etc."], sometimes guys want to get to the chase with their pictures, some people don't like to use Facebook, the internet isn't only for the English, and some guys aren't looking for anything serious (ever).

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  23. dds says:

    What is with the bigger guys who write you and guilt trip with dont judge me on looks and give me a FAIR chance. To someone who runs five times a week, they usually want someone who takes care of themselves. It is not attractive to most people. But when you kindly say you are not interested, they guilt trip you or insult you.

    I hate when people write you who CLEARLY you stated you didnt want.

  24. Todd says:

    “55-year-old men who hit on 21-year-old girls”

    The last time I checked, a 21-year-old is an “adult”…as is a 55-year-old. The author of this article would probably be insulted if someone referred to her as a “girl” in any other context…But when an older guy sends her an email on a dating site, she suddenly decides that she’s a “girl” again. What gives?

    If you aren’t interested in fellow adults beyond a certain age, fine…It’s a free country…But drop the childish shaming language…Unless you want to be treated like a child.

    You are either an adult….Or you’re not. The “EWWW…older guys!” routine is almost always indicative of a small mind that is still stuck in the high-school mindset.

    1. Josh says:

      That's not true, there's a difference between legal and cultural understanding of what "girl" means. And even if you are talking strictly about the legal definition of "adult," many states define "adult" differently for different purposes. The writer's use of the word "girl" is perfectly normal. It is your defensive characterization of the word that is abnormal. Many people would call a 25 years old woman a "girl" in reference to a 60 year old woman, or a 60 year old man for that matter. There is a reason we consider them "girls," because being a "girl" is as much about one's age as it is about a state of mind – a kind of innocence and purity. And that is why, we as a society, find it so disturbing when men who are twice the age of these "girls" try to enter into a sexual relationship with them.

      And even if we concede to your argument that she is an "adult." There is still a lot of things that are morally wrong with a 55 year old man who could be a 21 year old adult woman's father's age hitting on her. Sure, it's a free country, but just know that you're going to be rejected, especially if she has a boyfriend around her age, because we are going to beat the crap out of men like you. Seriously old man, go find a woman your own age or perhaps older than you. I hear they're much better in bed too.

  25. teri wells says:

    There are some strange profiles for certain. It's like a mine field who do you answer and who not to answer. To me one of the biggest turn off 's is a profiler wanting to cuddle! OR the guy who's mad at all women and starts his about me ranting and raving how women have double timed him and he's not there to wait while you window shop around!

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  27. mark says:

    don’t hate the players, hate the game. it is what it is

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