Sexy Time: Size Doesn’t Matter… Anymore

January 14, 2010     Posted in Advice, Relationships, Sex

Much to the dismay of my male readers, I have to admit that size does in fact matter to us ladies. Sure, it isn’t the only component of good sex, but it definitely contributes. After all, the motion of the ocean doesn’t matter much if you can’t feel the waves!


By Kelly

But what many guys don’t know – and which some girls might not even know! – is that size problems go both ways; a guy can be too big just as easily as he can be too small. What do you do if your partner falls on either end of the spectrum?

Too Small

If he’s too small, there’s no magic pill to make him bigger (despite what your gmail inbox claims). You can make him feel bigger by trying positions that allow deeper penetration. Doggie style with your waist high (use pillows if it makes it more comfortable) and your chest lowered to the bed is a great angle for this. Spruce up missionary by resting your ankles on his shoulders (if you’re not flexible enough, just bend your knees and pull them up towards your chest). Trust me, a little (penis) goes a long way.

Also remember that penetration isn’t the only (or most) pleasurable sex act; indulge yourself in some oral or manual stimulation as well.

If changing positions or acts isn’t enough, you can try penis extenders. They slip over his goods like a condom but have extra material to add some length. I can’t imagine he would feel much through them, though, or that your man would really be in the mood after you made him feel self conscious about his manhood. But I’ve never tried them so I’m really not sure. Post a comment if you’ve ever tried these and let us know how it went!

Too Big

Being too big can be worse than being too small. It’s hard to enjoy sex if it hurts! If your partner is big enough to make sex uncomfortable, there are a few things you can try. First, lots and lots of foreplay. Your vagina expands when you become aroused, allowing him in with less resistance. Sex will also be less painful is you are properly lubricated, so use lube generously, even if you feel turned on enough.

Stick to sex positions that keep penetration shallow. Girl-on-top is great because you can control the speed and depth of penetration to avoid pain. Missionary can work too, but try to keep your legs close together and your pelvis pointed downward to keep his thrusts from going too deep. Most importantly, speak up! If something hurts, let him know. And f it feels good, definitely let him know.

Now that you have any size issues worked out, you can focus on improving how he uses the goods. Enjoy!

19 Comments on "Sexy Time: Size Doesn’t Matter… Anymore"

  1. Fyndy says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 201011:40 am 

    I don't want to sound shallow, but size does matter.

    What matters more, is the guy. Yes, I agree that you can totally make certain positions work, etc.

    My ex was only concerned about HIS pleasure, making mine a very low priority….ALL the time. And I'm sorry, but when a guy is 3 inches long erect and has a gut, it makes doggy impossible unless you like feeling like you're going to die with your chest pressed into the bed. Don't get me started on missionary. Who likes one position all of the time?

    So sorry, I'd rather have too big than too small.

  2. Jen says:
    Wed, 20th Jan 201010:16 pm 

    Umm, I like (not) how the person who wrote this artical states that 'size does matter to us ladies" what? ALL ladies are shallow???

    I don't care about size, and neither should anybody, whats wrong with this fkn world???

  3. Nicky says:
    Wed, 20th Jan 201011:01 pm 

    I agree, size does matter. But too big is pretty bad when you’re petite I’m only 5 feet and my boyfriend is about 6’1. He’s way too big for me and has now cut me off from sex because it hurts me too much. I miss sex :(

  4. Lessa says:
    Thu, 21st Jan 201012:20 pm 

    Nicky… i was in your position for a while. I'm an extremely small and petite girl, and my lady parts match that. My ex was way too big, and i was always in pain. we managed to get by with different positions and experimenting around, etc…. However, i much prefer too big than too small…. not being able to feel sex is worse than not having it at all!

  5. Fyndy says:
    Sun, 24th Jan 20102:42 pm 

    I'm 4'11, and my boyfriend is 6'1. It doesn't seem like a good idea, but we're a perfect match sexually. He's not too big, not too small. So maybe I lucked out.

    And Jen, it's not being shallow to actually want to FEEL sex. So while size may not matter to you, I happen to have a robust sex life and like to be able to FEEL my guy. Not that it's the most important part of my relationship with him, but if I'm allowed one small "selfish" part of my life, my sex life is going to be part of it.

  6. alimaamoser says:
    Sun, 24th Jan 20108:18 pm 

    it is not safe sex……….size it not matter but satisfaction is too helpful of girl….

    Force Factor

  7. Dabrowski says:
    Mon, 25th Jan 20104:35 am 

    Don't forget, the size of our bits isn't proportional to the size of our bodies. It's not all about height.

    Fyndy, maybe your guy's wang is proportionally small compared to him. Nothing wrong with that, it obviously works great for you as a couple.

    Nicki, maybe in your case he's proportionally big, which I'm sure most people would think is great but it's not working for you.

    btw, if you miss sex that much look me up….. ;)

  8. fuzzy says:
    Fri, 29th Jan 20102:34 pm 

    Fyndy—

    Were we dating the same guy? Honestly…….

  9. naturegirl1 says:
    Sun, 31st Jan 201011:55 am 

    Just a thought, I found I was able to accomodate my slightly bigger than average husband just fine after childbirth! So the secret might be: have babies!

  10. joe says:
    Sun, 31st Jan 20104:06 pm 

    my penis is five and a half inches long, I didn't really think much about it before but then my girlfriend had sex with another man who she claims had a big penis. She tried to defend her actions by saying I wasn't big enough to satisfy her. Are most women secretly like this?

  11. naturegirl1 says:
    Mon, 1st Feb 20105:10 am 

    Joe: only shallow, unprincipalled women!

    Five and a half inches is about average, and should be enough to satisfy the most demanding woman as long as you pick & choose which position to use.

    Also, it's all well & good having an 8 inch dick, but in my experience that much can be downright painful if it bumps the cervix during intercourse! A good girth is preferable as far as I'm concerned.

  12. hedgehog says:
    Mon, 1st Feb 20106:30 am 

    I don't think it's about size, it's about chemistry. I'm with a guy smaller than average, but I feel like exploding when he touches me. Didn't happen with guys bigger than him…and really, having an orgasm doesn't really depend on what he's got. It's more about how long can he go on (very, very long) and about my position (me on top works just fine).

  13. sanjay says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 20106:40 pm 

    size is not important.medium size is best for pussy and anal pleasure. hardness and friction to G spot and clitorious gives a lot orgasm which is important

  14. brobot says:
    Sun, 23rd May 20101:34 pm 

    size is very important

    I was once with a girl and her vagina was so damn big i lost myself in there, i couldn't feeeel anything

    alternate: I was once with a girl who's vagina was so tiny it was like putting a clamp on my dick it HURTS!!!

    really though, sex is way too focused on men and their dicks

    too much blame for the woman not achieving orgasm, or credit for the woman achieving orgasm, is put on what the man did.

    man being gay must really be sweeeet

  15. brobot says:
    Sun, 23rd May 20101:35 pm 

    people should not be ashamed of their genitals

  16. Nadeen says:
    Thu, 21st Apr 201110:30 am 

    this reminds me of the sex and the city episode when samantha broke up with the guy she was in love with because he had a small penis.

  17. Joy says:
    Thu, 21st Apr 20112:55 pm 

    My ex husband had a larger (and fatter) penis than my current boyfriend. If I have to chose which one like better, I'd pick hte latter, who's slightly smaller, over the first one anytime of the day; he knows how to use it better.

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