The Doctor Is In: Sexual Soreness

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, like our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – like performance anxiety – so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

By CC Staff

Q: I just recently started having sex with my boyfriend. It always feels fine (great, actually) when we’re in the act, but everything just feels…weird the next day. It sorta hurts when I go to the bathroom (mostly when I’m…er…cleaning up), when I sit, and the muscles in my inner thighs hurt. And I’m just so sore down there that I need a couple days before I can even do it again.

Is that normal? Is it something I’ll get used to? Should I be worried?

A: Sex can be uncomfortable in a variety of ways, especially for women. What you’re describing sounds more like the result of a serious sexual workout than any medical condition.  Most people with sexual pain disorders, such as vulvar vestibulitis (inflammation of the vestibule) or vaginismus (involuntary tightening of the muscles in the vagina), experience pain during intercourse. The fact that you’re enjoying the act itself is good news.

If the muscles in your inner thighs hurt, it’s probably because you’re using them to cling to your partner during sex- and just like any workout, they can ache afterwards, especially if you’re using muscles you’re not used to using. Try taking ibuprofen (Motrin) or naproxen (Aleve) to help the aching you feel. And just like spin class or lifting weights, chances are, the more you do it, the less it will hurt. (Which I’m sure your boyfriend will enjoy…)

As for the hurting when you’re cleaning yourself up, I’m a little vague on what you mean by that. Does it burn afterwards? If so, you could be sensitive to the acidity of the sperm. Or in rare cases, people can be allergic to sperm. Try using a condom. If that doesn’t help – that’s not it. It’s possible you could have a vaginal infection, like a yeast infection, and sex is triggering symptoms. Or it’s possible that the act of sex itself is irritating to such a sensitive area; if that’s the case, try using lube. That should help make things go a little more smoothly.

Since it’s not quite clear to me what the problem is, I’d recommend seeing a gynecologist. You may feel embarrassed talking to someone about sex, but I swear- it’s what we do all day. Don’t be shy. We can help.

Wishing you pain-free bliss,
Dr. Lissa

- Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in Fall 2010. She invites you to join her Pink online community (www.owningpink.com/forum) or read more of her writing at Owning Pink (www.owningpink.com).