Single. And Jealous

January 15, 2010 4:00 pm     Posted in Reality, Relationships  Emmy g+ page

I have a best friend. You know the kind of friendship where you finish each other’s sentences, annoy people with your inside jokes, and get into way too much trouble together at parties? Yeah, we’re that kind of close. And I love her to death.


By Emmy

Right now this best friend is lucky enough to be at the start of what we can all tell is going to be a great relationship with one of the few guys who might be worthy of her. I am as excited about it as she is. After months of squealing with her and analyzing every text he sent, they are officially dating and it is so exciting!

As happy as I am for her – and I really, truly am beyond thrilled – watching her get dolled up for dates and hear her giggling through the wall when he spends the night makes me miss being in a relationship myself. I’ve really enjoyed the time I’ve spent single this year – let’s face it: the twin beds in college dorm rooms were not meant to fit two people – but seeing someone else enjoying the bliss that comes at the beginning of a relationship is making me a bit, well, jealous.

Now don’t get me wrong – my momentary pangs of jealousy are nothing compared to my overall glee for my dear friend, but the jealousy is definitely there. When he brings her candy at the library, when he sends her a goodnight text, when they cuddle on the futon to watch TV; it all makes me nostalgic for the good things about being in a relationship, which are suddenly the only things I can think about. Even with my old boyfriends that were, in general, all schmucks.

Suddenly I’m sitting my room, listening to sappy music and flipping through old photos, thinking of my own past relationships with rose colored glasses on. “Maybe he did turn into a drug dealer now, but he was really sweet about bringing me my favorite coffee when I was hung over…And now I’m alone while everyone else is off getting boyfriends and being all happy.”

It’s frustrating. I don’t want to be jealous; I want to be unconditionally happy for my friend. She deserves it! And I’ve got so much going for me right now, too. I’m single and I’m free (and I don’t have to share my twin bed with anybody!). I guess that’s just something I’ll have to keep reminding myself of as I continue living the life of the single girl.

11 Comments on "Single. And Jealous"

  1. BG says:
    Fri, 15th Jan 20102:27 pm 

    i know exactly what you mean. sigh.

    i love all of your single posts. they are very relatable. i mean in my case, it seems as if everyone in my life has a significant other that they are all cutesy with. sure, it makes me happy to know that two people have found each other, but i wonder when it's my turn. i guess we'll all have to wait and see..

  2. Jay says:
    Fri, 15th Jan 20108:35 pm 

    thank you…you completely captured what I am currently feeling :)

  3. Karen says:
    Fri, 15th Jan 20108:41 pm 

    I am in exactly the same position right now. It sucks.

  4. shari says:
    Sat, 16th Jan 201012:35 am 

    yes.

  5. Casey says:
    Sat, 16th Jan 20106:08 am 

    This sounds like my old bestie and me when my boyfriend and I started dating. Her jealousy inevitably ended our friendship. Once she got over being happy for me and let her jealousy get the best of her, she started telling me "it wont last", "he's not right for you", "you're going to regret being in a relationship in college", and then when her bitchy friend acted surprised that I still hung out even though I had a boyfriend she stopped inviting me out altogether because she assumed I'd rather be with him than her.

    I was so hurt by this, so please don't let your jealousy destroy your friendship. But I'm thinking you have more integrity than that.

  6. C says:
    Sat, 16th Jan 20108:02 am 

    This really rang true for me. Especially how you described your relationship with your best friend in the beginning. It's exactly the same with me and my bestie, finishing sentences, thinking the same thing, laughing 247, its like your one person and its awesome! But shes been dating for like 2 years (and lives with now) her boyfriend. And hes awesome! A sweetheart! Im not jealous but it definetly is different because she's not in the same place as me and spends 247 with her boyfriend which I understand but it still sucks :(

  7. Sarah says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20102:54 pm 

    This was me for a really long time. Friend after friend getting into relationships and then my Best friend getting into one, with my brother of all people, made me so jealous and irritated. However now i'm in the relationship making everyone sick with jealously and it's great!

  8. LB says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20105:48 pm 

    I totally understand where you are coming from! My best friend has recently gotten a boyfried. He's a really sweet guy and I am happy for her, but it's also really really hard to spend nights by myself when I know they're off having a good time. I can't really relate to her emotions because I haven't ever been in a serious relationship, but I am trying my best to be patient. I can only hope that she doesn't forget about me and that sooner or later she will want to spend time with me again!

  9. j says:
    Wed, 20th Jan 20107:30 am 

    I was the same with my bestie. She was starting her realtionship and then she started lying, standing me up, and then she said that I wasn't happy for her. WTF? I always told her tat she should go ahead and be with him, because he loves her so much. Seriously, you should see the looks he gives her. Then she told all our friends that I wanted her boyfriend and stopped talking to me. Of course, it was "my fault for not being supportive enough". Well, I hope they're happy.

  10. Louise says:
    Sat, 1st Sep 20122:22 am 

    This post describes exactly how I'm feeling, but multiplied. A lot of my close friends are starting out or have been in relationships for a few months, some in relationships with each other. My best guy friend and my best girl friend have been dating each other for about 5 months. Today, a guy friend asked out a girl friend of mine by serenading her with a ukulele today. It was so sweet that it was heartbreaking. I'm currently about 7 months into a dating hiatus, and I like being single, but today was the breaking point. The sweetness of a relationship is something I've really been missing, even if some of my exes are complete assholes (I feel you, girl). Thanks so much for this post :)

Tell us what you're thinking...