Single. And Jealous
I have a best friend. You know the kind of friendship where you finish each other’s sentences, annoy people with your inside jokes, and get into way too much trouble together at parties? Yeah, we’re that kind of close. And I love her to death.
Right now this best friend is lucky enough to be at the start of what we can all tell is going to be a great relationship with one of the few guys who might be worthy of her. I am as excited about it as she is. After months of squealing with her and analyzing every text he sent, they are officially dating and it is so exciting!
As happy as I am for her – and I really, truly am beyond thrilled – watching her get dolled up for dates and hear her giggling through the wall when he spends the night makes me miss being in a relationship myself. I’ve really enjoyed the time I’ve spent single this year – let’s face it: the twin beds in college dorm rooms were not meant to fit two people – but seeing someone else enjoying the bliss that comes at the beginning of a relationship is making me a bit, well, jealous.
Now don’t get me wrong – my momentary pangs of jealousy are nothing compared to my overall glee for my dear friend, but the jealousy is definitely there. When he brings her candy at the library, when he sends her a goodnight text, when they cuddle on the futon to watch TV; it all makes me nostalgic for the good things about being in a relationship, which are suddenly the only things I can think about. Even with my old boyfriends that were, in general, all schmucks.
Suddenly I’m sitting my room, listening to sappy music and flipping through old photos, thinking of my own past relationships with rose colored glasses on. “Maybe he did turn into a drug dealer now, but he was really sweet about bringing me my favorite coffee when I was hung over…And now I’m alone while everyone else is off getting boyfriends and being all happy.”
It’s frustrating. I don’t want to be jealous; I want to be unconditionally happy for my friend. She deserves it! And I’ve got so much going for me right now, too. I’m single and I’m free (and I don’t have to share my twin bed with anybody!). I guess that’s just something I’ll have to keep reminding myself of as I continue living the life of the single girl.