Who Brushes Their Teeth With a Bottle of Jack?

January 18, 2010     Posted in Entertainment, HaHa

OK, I’ve got one question and one question only…


By Erica

Who the F is Ke$ha??

The girl wears glitter. A lot of it.
She totally ripped off my girl Uffie.
She has a dollar sign IN HER NAME.
She has one song out…and it’s about getting wasted.

But girlfriend is everywhere. She’s all over the internet, the radio plays her song religiously and she’s even found a spot on my workout playlist. And my getting ready to go out playlist. And my walk to class playlist…

Now, I know the stars of pop music have been a little ridiculous lately (Exhibit A), but this new-found obsession with Ke$ha has me a little worried; bad romance outfits are one thing, but brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack? Come on now, girl.

I mean – really, Kesha? – you “wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy”? What does it feel like to be an angry, controlling, egotistical rap mogul with a Twitter obsession?

And really, it’s great that you have set such lofty goals for yourself (“Tonight, I’ma fight until we see the sunlight”), but shouldn’t you be thinking about a few more serious things like, I don’t know… getting a job? Or giving back to the poor? Or getting proper dental care? I know that you  “Aint got a care in the world, but [you] got plenty of beer,” and that’s great; we all need a night off to just let loose. I feel ya, sister. But I really worry about the mental health of anyone who wants a dude that “look[s] like Mick Jagger.”

Is this the kind of person we want millions of little girls to look up to?

And why you gotta make your song so catchy, Ke$ha? Do you know how much I hate myself when I’m jumping around the bar and know every single (terrible) verse? I want to hate you – I really, really do – but hard as I try, I just can’t get enough. And that might be the worst thing of all.

Damn you, Ke$ha. Damn you.

33 Comments on "Who Brushes Their Teeth With a Bottle of Jack?"

  1. Ihatestupidpeople says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 201012:53 pm 

    Although I do agree that that her song does not really do much to help stimulate the intelligence of young people I don't think we should be ripping into her for her lyric or image choices. This girl has not once tried to pander to young children so why should we hold her responsible for teaching them strong moral values? She didn't gain fame from starring on the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon so why should anyone pressure her into being a role model for the younger generation. It's obvious that from what she sings about her goal is to entertain people that are of "partying" age. We should not be holding famous individuals responsible for the well-being of the nation's kids that responsibility is on their parents.

  2. meg says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20102:14 pm 

    hahahaha, well said. love it!

  3. Jodie says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20102:34 pm 

    Here is the deal:

    She is in the public so we can say whatever we want.

    She is getting paid more than my hard working mother and father. And probably yours too…

    She's got a record contract when really awesome bands don't.

    She didn't come from Nickelodeon or Disney, and that doesn't mean crap.

    She's got one of the worst songs I have ever heard, and that's a fact.

    Defend people all you want. That's really nice. But there are people in this world that deserve lives half as lucky as hers. She could be a great person, and that is wonderful…but let's be real. I'll give my 19.95 to Haiti and skip out on this album.

  4. miette says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20102:53 pm 

    mmm girl, you should hear the song she did with 3OH!3 "blah blah blah" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWJECLN4S00

  5. Lady says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20103:50 pm 

    totally ripped off Uffie!

  6. katelyn says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20104:07 pm 

    i love kesha. men sing about what she sings about all the time and get no shit. come on now.

    i'm tired of woman hating on women

  7. ihatestupidpeople says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20105:43 pm 

    Jodie–

    You're missing the point. Who said anything about her being deserving of what she has or that we have to like her songs or albums? I think I made it pretty clear that the point was we should not depend on artists like her to educate children–she can do what she wants…parents, educators and the important people in a young person's life should be responsible for letting them know what's really important. What does that have anything to do with how hard my parents work or how you plan to spend your money? I'm sick of how many ignorant people there are on this site commenting without even reading what they're commenting about

  8. Katie says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20106:15 pm 

    @ihatestupidpeople definately agree full heartedly with your first comment

    I personally think TiK ToK is the funniest song ever. And you guys are right her target audience is what 16 – 25. Its about having fun and partying. I don't see people getting mad a LMFAO for their songs, which include sex drugs alcohol partying. The music is for us, college kids. So stop being so critical peeps, enjoy the beats coming out of pop music these days (LMFAO, 3OH!3, Ke$ha, etc) and if you are too "intelligent" to listen then switch over to country or ugh Taylor Swift.

  9. Mal says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20106:30 pm 

    OK, her song is catchy but her voice is terrible! i cant even stand to listen to the whole thing all the way through…

  10. Sean says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20106:34 pm 

    hey be nice to diddy

  11. chelseykelsey says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20106:45 pm 

    The rest of her album is just as trashy but twice as catchy!

    Guilty pleasure. There's nothing wrong with that!

  12. Nope says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20106:54 pm 

    I went to high school with her… she was a weirdo

  13. Jodie says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20108:52 pm 

    ihatestupidpeopl-

    I'm not missing your point, I was just making my own point. I get yours, my post was not directed at you. (Except for the Disney/Nickelodeon part).

  14. Tara says:
    Mon, 18th Jan 20109:45 pm 

    The $ in her name stands for, as she says:

    "It was me taking the piss out of the fact that I was broke while being on a # 1 record (RIGHT ROUND). I didn't have enough money to buy a taco."

  15. Casey says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 20108:01 am 

    Ihatestupidpeople, You took the words out of my mouth.

    I work at Hollister and this song is on our playlist so I hear it about 20 times a day every day, but I love it, and it's so upbeat that when it comes on my workers work twice as hard. I actually think she has a pretty unique sounding voice and enjoy listening to her, and considering I'm in the target audience and am not a young child, that is perfectly ok :)

    But seriously, what was the point of this article? You love her? or you hate her? I'm not sure which one.

  16. D. says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 20108:29 am 

    I remember hearing "Right Round", turning to my friend and asking, "Who the hell is doing vocals? She sounds REALLY annoying."

    I haven't changed my mind. Her song (tik tok) is terrible and she's a mess. Nobody asked her to be a role model, but if we can rip into Lindsay Lohan for her partying ways, why not criticize Ke$ha as well? It has nothing to do with her being female and everything to do with my finding her music seriously awful :D

  17. J says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 201012:20 pm 

    Whether you like her or not, this parody is pretty funny.. .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4npUdfEmbQ

  18. Dia says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 20101:43 pm 

    No need to get riled up over sucky artists, and shes nothing like Uffie, but they do have something in common, both their music sucks. This is the kind of ish they blast 3 or 4 times in a hour on the radio. subject yourself to it or change the station, its your call

  19. Charlotte says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 20101:45 pm 

    I hate her but her songs are catchy as hell. I've listened to her CD an embarrassing number of times at the gym, it gets you moving. But seriously her persona is the worst

  20. yup says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 20105:13 pm 

    Ke$ha is from my town, and my boyfriend's sister was friends with her in high school.

    Her song is so incredibly catchy, and I hate popular music on the radio. I agree her voice isn't very good and her outfits are horrendous, but she's got that song that won't stop playing.

    We've had plenty of one hit wonders in the past, and she is probably the newest one.

  21. Jer Bear says:
    Thu, 21st Jan 20106:02 pm 

    I'd do her.

  22. Casey says:
    Thu, 21st Jan 201011:32 pm 

    D. There’s a difference between Ke$ha and Lindsay Lohan. LiLo got her start with Disney, therefore we have every right to rip into her. Ke$ha doesn’t and never did market anything to children. Her target audience is late teens early twenty’s and so she should not be looked at as a role model for children.

  23. tks says:
    Tue, 9th Feb 20105:46 am 

    Her music is trash, her image is trash.

    She sets a shit example for kids who idolize her.

    She's pretty much the Easy E of pop music. And to think she compares herself to the Arcade Fire shows how fucking retarded she is.

  24. connieemeraldeyes says:
    Mon, 22nd Mar 20107:40 pm 

    I got her song free of of Wal-mart.com music downloads, they were giving it away. Her new song Blah, Blah, Blah, is boring, boring, boring.

  25. ke$ha the drunken wh says:
    Mon, 10th May 20101:42 am 

    For your question,it's me,the drunken bitch Ke$ha.I will drink thousands of Jack bottles as long as it keeps me at top charts! Also,I'm talentless.That's why I make a lot of controversial speeches in hope of becoming more famous.I also try to rip off the styles of many great singers cause I don't really have a thing called "My Own Style".I wear glitter cuz' it makes me sparkling although it may cause me cancer.I also don't comb my hair cuz it looks street dirty.For your info,crows starts making nests on my head.

    PS:I'm gonna make a lot of meaningless songs.If you love me and wanna be a drunken whore,stay tuned!!!

  26. Lady gaga's fan says:
    Mon, 10th May 20101:52 am 

    Now who's more poisonous….This whore or our Lady gaga?

    Would you rather have your kid singing:

    "I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore?"

    .."Can't read my,can't read my no he can't read my Poker Face"

    or:

    "I'm gonna be naked,you're wasted"

    …"just show me where your dick's at"

    I know that gaga's song have sexual themes but at least she keeps them esoteric and deep.Ke%ha songs are just cheap rags covered in tunes and beats…

  27. amy says:
    Sun, 17th Oct 20103:11 am 

    i dislike kesha a lot, she's soooooooo over. she drinks jack bottles, she sings cheap songs, and her hair is like a crow's nest, she should al least try to become……NORMAL!!!!

  28. amy says:
    Sun, 17th Oct 20103:14 am 

    Kesha is a girl who woul sell herself just to become famous!

  29. awesomeguy says:
    Mon, 15th Nov 20108:05 am 

    for ur kind info, nobody likes 2 b adrunken whore, and did u just see the comments about u????????
    people say u r a bitch, that's because u call urself that & u act lika one toooo.

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