5 Things Guys Should Not Sport to the Gym

January 19, 2010 12:00 pm     Posted in Entertainment, Fashion, HaHa, Style  Jessica- Delaware g+ page

Ew.

Be honest.


By Jessica

One of the biggest motivations for us college girls to get to the gym every day is the thought of all the hot guys that will be there. Yeah, we go there to burn off last night’s margaritas and nachos, but doing all that burning is so much better while ogling delicious, muscle-y coeds lifting weights, the sweat dripping off of their glistening brows.

But then there are the other guys. Those dudes that show up in attire that makes us want to throw up last night’s indulgences rather than jump their bones right up against the leg press.  Everyone knows that the bar gym is a great place to pick up guys, but these five fashion choices are definite dealbreakers.

Guys, no matter how hot you are, you don’t look good in these.

1. Spandex

I don’t care what kind of exercise you’re doing, spandex is NEVER necessary. This goes for outside the gym, too.  There’s nothing like seeing a guy jogging around campus and having a clear outline of his junk to wake you up for a 9 am lecture.  Spare me.  If you’re lucky, we’ll wanna see your man parts after a few drinks at more appropriate times (that is, unless we remember that we saw you at the gym wearing spandex).

2. Sleeveless Muscle Tees

Unless you’re Pauly D or The Situation, don’t wear muscle tees. They make you look like Pauly D and The Situation. We get it, you have huge biceps, and trust us, we love to watch you flex them. But not in an old t-shirt you tore up with arm holes that hang down to your waist. If we can see your entire upper body already, what’s the point of wearing a shirt anyway? And while we’re on the subject, let’s just make these illegal, K?

3. Short Shorts

Short shorts on girls? Fine. Short shorts on guys? Gross. Guy thighs are big, pale, and hairy – a very unattractive combo.  And trust me when I say I did not need to see that guy’s junk flop out onto the mat during a particularly intense butterfly stretch.

4. Velour Sweatpants

If you wear these to the gym you are probably also sporting #2, a fake tan, and a blowout (and maybe even a sweatband around said blowout. And sunglasses).  I always see guys wearing these in colors like maroon, teal, and white. Forget the fact that we can see the outline of your man parts, but WTF? Did you get lost at Macy’s and end up at Juicy Couture?

5. Anything one-piece
Like this. Or these. Come on now; do I really need to say it?

On the flip-side, though, one thing guys should wear MORE of to the gym: deodorant. Please and thank you.

14 Comments on "5 Things Guys Should Not Sport to the Gym"

  1. liz says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 201012:59 pm 

    As a varsity rower spandex is necessary even for guys, if you are wearing "lose" shorts on the erg or in the boat your shorts will get caught on the slide!

  2. Dia says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 20101:26 pm 

    sleeveless is fine, but yea nobody wants to see your junk poking out of some short shorts that your 9 year old sister wouldnt be seen in

  3. lulz says:
    Tue, 19th Jan 20102:16 pm 

    I wear basketball shorts on C2s all the time with no problem… not complaining when the girl's crew team comes in wearing spandex though.

  4. greg says:
    Sat, 30th Jan 20106:40 am 

    Why don't you just not worry about what others are wearing or not wearing to gym, or when running, etc.?

  5. mike says:
    Thu, 4th Feb 20107:26 am 

    Maybeyour prude ass self don't like them but I know plenty of women who do and women I do not know getting a peak. It depends how u wear them and how u look in them. There are also a good number of women that should not wear them either but nobody cares!

  6. steve says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 20105:47 am 

    Let a guy wear what he wants. I like wearing spandex / compression shorts when I run. Trust me, I have had girls show interest in me. They weren't scared by my "junk". As for shorts or shirts or underwear, or whatever, let me wear what I want. I am at the gym to get fit. I want to wear the clothe that work best for me and that I think are cute. For the record that includes a long sleeve t-shirt, shorts (usually the tempo shorts from Nike – yeah, I know they are made for women) and a thong. (Yeah, guys can wear thongs and be straight!). As for girls, wear what you want. If you are fit, cute, and confident, you will get a smile from me.

  7. Chuck says:
    Tue, 18th May 20108:34 am 

    Jessica – Do you go to the gym to exercise or to pass judgment on what others are wearing? If the latter, what makes you think what you have to say is so important? You obviously have some sexual repression issues to refer to male genitalia as "junk". Maybe you should just get a life and let others do the same.

  8. None says:
    Sun, 30th May 20108:15 am 

    LOL cunt

  9. Nick says:
    Thu, 5th Aug 201010:03 am 

    First of all, no one is asking these women or specifically this woman to look at any man. If you don't like what you see then look away.

    Second, guys that have nice bodies should be able to show them off in whatever what they want. It is 2010 and we should really be able to let go of all this "gender appropriate" attire or whatever. Gees – really

  10. Noel says:
    Thu, 12th May 20112:30 am 

    this is stupid

  11. wilson says:
    Wed, 25th May 20118:53 am 

    honestly this chick has her head way to far up her man trap… maybe she needs to join curves so she dosent have to be so distracted by al the bad manstakes that seem to distract her diva workout.. get a life muffin top..

  12. keith says:
    Sat, 25th Jun 201112:53 pm 

    What is wrong with cut offs?

  13. Max says:
    Fri, 5th Oct 201211:54 pm 

    Errrrr. Maybe you're just barking up the wrong tree. Your description of these guys makes me want to ask you for the address of the gym you're going to… if you get what I mean ;) Cheers up! Just go for what you like 'n snub the rest!!

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