Jenna Jameson taught me how to give a blow job.
I never got a private lesson (no matter how many emails my boyfriend sent begging her), but I found her fool proof tips tucked away on page 108 of her autobiography, How To Make Love Like A Porn Star. It’s actually a really interesting read (especially compared to the 18th Century Lit I’ve been reading) and I recommend you go out and buy it. But for now, I’ll just share with you a few of her 10 Commandments for giving “killer head he’ll never forget.”
Come on – who doesn’t want to know that?
Jenna says: “When you’re going down on him, keep your hair out of your face and look up at him with big doe eyes.”
I say: Great, but we’re not all porn stars, and it strains your neck to make eye contact the whole time. Just make sure you look up occasionally and try to make some sexy “I really love what I’m doing” eyes while you do.
Use Your Hands Wisely.
Jenna says: “In addition to stroking him, try tickling his balls a little.”
I say: “Mind the stepchildren” is something all guys want us to do. Fine. But even if that area isn’t really your thing, using your hands is also a great way to make things easier on you (read: give that jaw a break) and make things better for him (read: a little added pressure). Just make sure to use plenty of saliva to keep things smooth.
Use Your Tongue
Jenna Says: “When he’s in your mouth, stick your tongue out as far as it will go. Then wiggle your tongue on the underside.”
I say: This drives my boyfriend absolutely crazy, but it’s not the most comfortable move. Don’t expect to keep doin’ this one for awhile.
Shield Your Teeth
Jenna says: “Shield your bottom teeth with your tongue, then open your mouth as wide as possible so that your top teeth stay clear.”
I say: This is much more comfortable than wrapping your lips around your teeth, for you and him.
Experiment with Facials.
Jenna says: “A facial is when a guy finishes on your face, and there’s no man I know who isn’t turned on by them.”
I say: I don’t want to know the men you know. It may be a turn on, Jemma, but the semen hardens in your hair and makes your skin feel nasty. No thank you.
So there you go: the perfect porn-star blow job. I left a few of the less important commandments out, so if you want to read the rest get yourself to a Barnes and Noble. Or maybe just order the book online so you don’t have to get the look of death and disappointment from the old lady working the register.
What special tips or tricks do you use down there?