Lessons Learned From My Trip To Cougar Town

Cougars (or, older women who like to feed on younger “meat”) is a once-taboo social phenom that has slowly started to become socially acceptable, thanks to rad older women like Demi (and psycho ones like Mariah). These older leading ladies have given cougarism a major boost in social status. Nowadays, being an old woman with a young little hunk on your arm is almost…cool.

By Anonymous

So a few weeks ago, I realized that I, as a fifth year college senior in the midst of a six-month dry spell, had no choice but to join the ranks of these famous females. Naturally, I started to scour the dorms and dining halls for my next victim. I eventually made my first move on a moderately successful, intelligent, sophomore cutie in my Lit class. And, because I am intelligent, mature, honest and amazing in the bedroom (all the reasons young men are said to swoon after older ladies), he instantly fell into my trap.

Needless to say, things have been going along swimmingly with my little stallion. I find his boyish charm, well, charming. I actually enjoy that his face is as smooth as a baby’s bottom and it doesn’t itch when we kiss. I even like that he still thinks that me inviting him back to my house to stay the night after a party is a “first date.” Unlike a lot of my other same-age guy pals, who are now proud owners of beer bellies and have 100 page theses to write, younger guys offer a little window through which I can relive my younger past.

But there are a couple things I’ve noticed about dating a younger man. Because college is old hat to me and I’m (theoretically) a mature woman about to move out into the “real world,” my little cutie and I are not exactly on the same page when it comes to lots of things. Here are a couple minor issues I’ve noticed about dating a younger man that every potential cougar needs to know:

1) He’s still all about racking up the numbers. Young college guys are focused on one thing and one thing only: booty. And lots of it. Enough of it to beat their boys in the booty race. You want a relationship? Maybe the youngsters aren’t for you.

2) He might not have his own cash. Though there is something to be said when your little cutie pulls out daddy’s platinum card to pay for dinner. No complaints here.

3) He’s got a lot to learn. In the classroom, in the bedroom, in life…. This isn’t always a bad thing, but you want to be a girlfriend, not a professor (unless it’s in a role playing scenario).

4) He’s still thinking in the short term. Which is awesome when it means that he doesn’t mind blowing off class and lying in bed all day cuddling with you. However, when you’re about to enter the real world (where smart, successful, single guys are a dying breed), it might feel a little like you’re wasting your time… and your last few years without cellulite.

5) He’s not 21. Which means you are going to have to skip the bars with your friends to shadily chug beers in his dorm room, or worse, elbow your way through a sweaty, smelly frat party full of sweaty, smelly freshmen.

Even though it might sound like I’m bashing the babies, I’m not. Younger guys are still totally datable (or at least, hook-upable). They’ll look up to you, trust that you know what’s best, give you your space, and also be able to keep up with you in the sack. As long as you can handle a few drawbacks (which honestly, what relationship doesn’t have some?), what’s not to love?

Have any of you had experiences with dating younger? Share them in the comments!