For my 20th birthday last year all my friends congratulated me on surviving teen pregnancy. Although we had a little chuckle, teen pregnancy is a huge issue that is only getting worse. Honestly, with shows like I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant holding marathons every weekend I’m completely baffled as to why young girls are still getting knocked up. But they are. A lot.
Clearly these young ladies need a real lesson in Sex Ed, because whatever they’ve been taught is not sinking in. So being the baby fearing girls birth control experts that we are, CollegeCandy has put together a few rock-solid ideas to preventing teen pregnancy in this here country. If teachers and parents do things our way, teen pregnancy would be a thing of the past. And MTV would have a few time-slots to fill during the week.
1. Give them the facts.
This may seem obvious, but science has shown that teens have less of an ability to think things through and see future consequences, so it’s time to spell things out for them: Pregnancy sucks. You will get fat, you’ll act like a bitch-on-wheels, and those perky teenage boobs? Forget about them. Pregnancy can also wreak havoc on every part of your body: you’ll sprout hair in weird places, your skin will break out, your back will ache and it can even put stress on your heart and lungs. Oh, and forget about all those tasty snacks you love so much. You can’t have caffeine (which is in chocolate), nutra-sweet (see ya later, Diet Coke), un-cooked food (TTFN, sushi and lunch meat) or booze (which you shouldn’t be drinking anyway!) for 9 freaking months.
Did I mention you poop on the table when you give birth?
2. Show them their future.
If any of that doesn’t sink in, maybe it’s time to show pics of a woman’s body before and after pregnancy. I’m sure most girls would jump on a bowl of condoms if they saw all those stretch marks or realized they may never fit into their favorite skinny jeans again. On average, women should expect to gain at least 25 pounds during pregnancy, but most gain more (way more) than that, and those pounds are extremely difficult to lose when you’re taking care of a baby 24/7.
3. Give them a dose of reality.
Why not show a few episodes of Teen Mom? Watching Amber move into a dirty motel with her baby had us running to Costco for jumbo packs of Trojans.
4. Educate them.
Let’s stop with the abstinence-only education and give these girls some real information. It’s 2010 in AMERICA, for god’s sake. Even if you believe in the whole “save yourself for marriage” stuff, it’s time to arm our youth with the facts (and the condoms) so they can protect themselves.