Five Reasons Why Wingwomen Are The Future
The wingman: a legendary tool of bros worldwide.
Once a key to success, wingmen have become so commonplace (there are even books about their rules and various codes) that even the women preyed on by bros and their wingmen know their lingo and their tactics, making their hard work a big waste of time. If guys want to improve their game and up their chances of wooing a lady, then, they are gonna need to change up their Bro Strategy.
Enter, the Wingwoman.
Wingwomen are the future. Whereas most women are hip to the movements of wingmen, wingwomen are the stealth operation of the “game,” and the key to successful mingling between the sexes. And not just for the guy we might be wingin’ for; for ourselves, too!
For all of you skeptics out there, I have here for you, the five reasons that wingwomen rock:
1) We are better with the grenades. So let’s say that this skanky girl is chasing your guy friend around the bar and he can’t seem to shake her loose. Trying to pawn her off on one of his bros has proved futile, either because she only has eyes for him or because even they won’t take that hit. What’s a bro to do? With the wingwoman in their arsenal they need not do anything at all. She just stands near him performs a simple neck stroke or arm-around-the-waist maneuver and that hippo knows this guy is not for the taking.
2) We know the enemy. We are girls, you know. So for ladies who have a general mistrust for the opposite sex, it always helps to have someone with a foot in both camps. A guy who says, “trust me, he’s such a cool guy” definitely has an ulterior motive behind the movement, while a girl who says “no, believe me, he’s the nicest guy” is way more trustworthy. We tend to believe it when girls say it, since we believe them to actually have our interests at heart. And if a girl says it, it also tends to be true. There are very few wingwomen out there vouching for guys who are total scum.
3) We have girlfriends. If a guy already hangs out with us, he knows that we’re awesome. And since birds of a feather flock together, well, he knows our flock is pretty awesome too. And that goes both ways, meaning our girlfriends and our guy friends now all have some new (totally rad) people to mingle with.
4) Their bros will be impressed. Girls who hang out with groups of guys are able to tap into a whole different side of the game, shocking guys everywhere. Guys love finding out that girls are into sports and outdoorsy activities while being hot at the same time, and what better way to show your Giants love (I still love them even though they were miserable failures this season. Sore subject) than by hanging out with your guy friends and talking about the grief that you now feel following the G-Men’s heinous showing this year? Their bros will be crazy impressed that your guy friend has such a cool girl friend, which ultimately raises your status as well. You’re welcome.
5) We are cool people. Guys wouldn’t hang out with us in the first place if we didn’t rock, so not only are we extremely useful in the battle that is modern day dating, but we are also sweet people to hang out with in general. Having a girl who is a friend seems lame in theory to most guys, but in practice we are the bomb. We know the game and are a wealth of information about the opposite sex, as well as hold many interests that they had know idea we shared. We are also the people guys come to to share guilty pleasures (perhaps your SECRET Lady Gaga love? I know your game…) and talk to about things they can’t talk to with their bros. Guys need us!
See? Flying as a wingwoman for the evening really is the best way to go. For everyone involved.