Lauren H - The New S says:
Thu, 28th Jan 201012:18 pm 

God, do I know that feeling. Between my day job + night classes and my BFs nightly play rehearsals until 11:30 (and an hour train ride home) the only time we see each other is when we're practically unconscious. And we live together too! Sigh.

Christina says:
Thu, 28th Jan 20101:18 pm 

Right with you. I tend to sacrifice sleep to spend some quality time staying up a little and watching movies. Another way to do it is to do work together or just plan a date night. Honestly. You have to eat and you have to do homework. Try to schedule it out with each other!

bberg1010 says:
Thu, 28th Jan 20102:30 pm 

This is the exact story of my bf and I towards the end of last semester! We both got in sucky situations where if I didn't get an A on a certain final, and he didn't get a B on one of his, we would be forced to change our majors! I would literally just sit in his room and study while he went to bed just so we could be in the same room more often. We ended up spending like all day together, but not conversing for more than 5 minutes

Krystyna says:
Thu, 28th Jan 20102:39 pm 

I have this problem too, but what we usually do is, at the beginning of the week, compare schedules and plans and free time for the week and see where we can fit things in. We usually set aside some time on Friday night. And sometimes you just have to sacrifice a little sleep. Not every day, but every once in awhile. And do things like grocery shopping and laundry together – at least you'll get to see each other.

chelseykelsey says:
Thu, 28th Jan 20102:49 pm 

My boyfriend's an engineering student, so I totally get what you're saying. Just make sure that you take time to tell him you're sorry for being so busy, make sure he knows he's loved, and tell him you appreciate him being patient with you.

Kelly - University o says:
Thu, 28th Jan 20104:23 pm 

Ughh two weeks in and this is happening to me too. But since I work at night, I sometimes don't see him from 11:00am until 2:00am the next day. And we live together too!

Congrats on the student producer job though!

Jenny says:
Thu, 28th Jan 20107:02 pm 

Same here. My boyfriend is in law school, and I'm a grad student. Some days, I have classes for 12 hours, and the days I come home early or have days off, he's at school all day long. It's rough, but we both feel that doing well in school is top priority.

One thing we always do is have dinner together. Whether we order in or he cooks (I'm a terrible cook), we always take an hour out of our busy schedules to have dinner and watch TV. It's very comforting, and it keeps me going. I know I always have our dinner to look forward to after a long day at class.

Tamara says:
Fri, 29th Jan 20104:03 am 

Both my bf and I are very busy people (probably that's one of the things we have in common, we're both super hyperkinetic!). I work part time as a reserch aid and as a tutor, I'm in another research group (where I don't get paid), I sing in choir and take singing lessons, and of course, I go to school! His schedule is even crazier than mine. I found out, however, there are some little tips that help you with this sort of life

- Speak on the phone: in my lunch hour at work, I usually give him a call (he's on lunchbreak too). It only takes five minutes to say I love you and tell a little story about your day; I don't know if it works for everybody, but to me, it makes me feel like I'm more "present" in his day-to-day.

- Date: if you see your boyfriend mostly in the weekends, do what you used to do when you started dating and saw each other only in the weekends. It doesn't have to cost you much money: go walking under the stars, have a beer near your house, go shopping for books and music or walking to a fun place. Just get out!!!To me, that's much more quality time that staying at home talking about the toilet that needs to be repaired (although that is sadly neccesary…)

- Don't compare yourself to others: I used to be really sad about how my friends got to spend every day with their guys, and used to think that was indispensable to have a mature relationship. So, that might be fine for some people, but for us, who love working, studying and do stuff all the time, it just won't work. Remember, you have this kind life because you like it: it's your choice.

gizmo says:
Fri, 29th Jan 20107:00 am 

I have the opposite problem… My bf and I have all mutual friends since I mostly hang with guy friends.

gizmo says:
Fri, 29th Jan 20107:01 am 

and on top of that, five academic classes and homework… and a club to run.

so yeah, I also feel your pain in some ways.

Ash says:
Fri, 29th Jan 20108:34 pm 

Same exact situation I'm dealing with… though we're only an hour away from each other, my bf works long night shifts. he goes to bed as I'm starting my day and vise versa, we get about 20 min to talk per day and a text on his break. and then on weekends I have a lot of commitment with my sport (on top of school and everything else) so seeing each other is a huge struggle and gets frustrating.

So any time we get to talk is valuable and I just try to make every second worth it, appreciating him and just being accepting to our current situations

zoe says:
Tue, 2nd Feb 20104:07 am 

This has been happening to me as well…especially with my boyfriend and I both being grad students and working. We try to make quality time out of every minute we have, even if it's while we're getting ready for bed. We'll talk about our days, give each other a quick backrub, etc. so at least we have some sort of connection.

It does totally suck though, even on weekends like you said! The worst part for me is that since my boyfriend works at 5am everyday and some Saturdays, he's usually too tired to go out, so it's even worse. The best you can do is just make every moment you have together special, also texting/e-mailing helps too to stay in touch throughout the day! Every once in a while, short roadtrips help too!

Meg says:
Tue, 2nd Feb 20106:09 pm 

This kind of makes me feel fortunate that my bf and I are in a LDR. He's super busy with his Senior Engineering program and I'm trying to juggle work PLUS school! We understand the other is busybusybusy and just at least take the time to remind each other that we're thinking of each other via text or im. It makes the few weekends we get to see each other all the more precious — even if we're both just having an extended homework date.

thehatingexpert says:
Tue, 2nd Feb 20108:53 pm 

http://thehatingexpert.wordpress.com/2010/02/02/s…

Margo M says:
Sat, 6th Feb 20105:20 pm 

Ok…totally been there, am there, will always be there. It seemed weird at first that I was not putting him first, but the commitments we both have are important–and we put each other first when we can. It was brought up earlier, but comparing your relationship to others is just frustration waiting to happen.

Colleen says:
Sun, 7th Feb 20103:34 pm 

I totally feel ya! Except for the fact that my schedule cripples me from a relationship in the first place. I always find myself running away from potential relationships, because I feel like I don't have the time to be a "good" girlfriend. It sounds like an excuse, but how am I supposed to get to know someone and establish a relationship when I am always preoccupied with other things? It sucks, because guys often think I'm just blowing them off and we lose contact. It sucks =/. Ambition and boyfriends just don't seem to mix sometimes.