Facebook and Dating: Where’s The Mystery?

    Posted in Dating, Love

"OMG his favorite movie is Forrest Gump!? ME TOO!"

So with the dawn of technology, we are given a whole new arsenal of tools to aid us in the battlefield that is modern dating.  We have texting, phones that make us available anywhere, Twitter, and most useful (yet at the same time lethal): Facebook.

Facebook is a fantastic thing.  It allows us to post our favorite things, chronicle our social lives, and waste a whole lot of time. We can connect with people who we wouldn’t otherwise still be in touch with (or at least, that’s our parents’ new excuse) and we can learn about people that we don’t know very well.

But this is also where Facebook turns against us.

While we enjoy getting “to know” others (read: potential boyfriends) via their Facebook profiles, they are doing the same with us, judging us based on our photos, our applications and what other people are writing on our Wall. They are able to glean more information from 5 minutes online than most people would get after 5 days of actually knowing us. Information that may or may not be a good representation of who we really are.

A funny storyline of a sitcom used to be when blind dates would bring background checks of their suitors to the date.  Those people would be labeled insane, and that would be the joke. Ha!  But now that joke is a very serious reality. In the days of Twitter, Facebook and Google, who doesn’t attempt to get as much information as possible up front? And who doesn’t make judgement calls on a person based on what they found in their Google thread?

The problem is, if someone was to judge me based on what they found on my Facebook profile, they’d think I was a drunk with weird friends and a love for really cliche quotes. And that’s not really who I am. Or at least there’s a lot more to me than just all that.

But most people don’t think about any of that. A quick poll among my friends brought the results that they believe that Facebook is a good thing for budding relationships.  “You can find out what your guy likes and dislikes, who his friends are and what people think about him,” they said. While that’s all well and good – assuming their profile has been updated recently and you can tell whether or not listing BSB as a favorite band was a joke or a very sad reality – maybe knowing all of that so early isn’t such a great thing. One of the most exciting parts of a relationship is the “getting to know you” stage; what happens when you’ve already gotten to know that person before you even have your first date? What do you have to look forward to?

And even more, what if all that getting to know him prevents a first date?

There are just some things best left to real, face-to-face human interaction and the dating is most definitely one of them.

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