Does Supply and Demand Apply to College Dating?

February 8, 2010 12:30 pm     Posted in Reality, Relationships  Brittany - University of Saint Thomas g+ page

Not only does college leave me stumped in my latest lecture, the daily grind leaves me scratching my head as well. Especially when it comes to my questionable relationships with men boys. Countless hours spent over-analyzing his latest text, the way he touched my arm in the bar, and how many days it took him to finally pitch me a Facebook message… It’s exhausting.


By Brittany

So who’s to blame for the late night ponderings?

Well, according to a recent article in the New York Times, it seems the culprit is me. Well, me as a lady, at least. Alex Williams, the author, argues that the real problem with dating in college comes from the fact that there are more girls on campus than guys and the reason men act the way they do in college is because (in most cases) there are less of them and they can get away with it. The article even suggests that, because of the the general laws of supply and demand, it is the women who have to assert themselves romantically or they will be left alone on Valentines Day to “stare down George Clooney movie over a half empty pizza box.”  Um, ouch.

In a situation where women outnumber men, the article states, “men have all the power to control the intensity of sexual and romantic relationships.”  Therefore, if they do not get what they are looking for with one woman, it is easy for them to move on to the next.  A woman, however, doesn’t have that luxury since her pool of potential suitors is much smaller.

Does this lopsided population gap in college really describe the backwards dating behavior?

Maybe I am just bitter because Valentines Day is creepin’ up on me like ‘The Situation’ at Karma, but I’m not so sure. I don’t know about you, but I never walk around my campus thinking, “Why are there so many more girls on this campus than guys?!” I’m usually walking around pleading, “non-losers, please stand up and wave that button-down-clad arm around.” The issue in college is not that girls outnumber guys, it’s that most of the guys out there are living up to the college ideal set out by their douchey frat brother ancestors.

College is about hooking up, adding to “your list”, and being a dude. And that wouldn’t change regardless of how many girls were out there.

I mean, look at Ivy League schools. Studies say the population there is pretty equal and I’m willing to bet any woman at Yale will agree: there are a lot of d-bags out there. And what about the real world? The ratio of guys-to-girls out there is probably more even than on a college campus and, according to our very single editor, girls still deal with the same jerks, same overanalyzing and the same heartache out there. (Editor’s Note: True story. Sigh.)

Ok, don’t get me wrong, I understand that there are good men out there, but I’m not going to begin to blame a population inequity on the reason why I haven’t quite found mine yet.

So what do you think?  Do men really have more social power because there are less of them? Or are the rules of the dating scene equally established among both parties?

29 Comments on "Does Supply and Demand Apply to College Dating?"

  1. T says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 20109:08 am 

    Maybe the population inequality doesnt arise from sheer numbers but from quality of boys. The amount of girls looking for a relationship or suitable companion far outweighs the number of guys doing so. Couple this with the low standards that boys have and the desperate girls willing to go tht low and we do have a supply and demand problem on our hands. The amount of classy guys is alot lower than the amount of classy girls in college.

  2. E says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 20109:11 am 

    The ratio at some schools may be equal, but when you look at the straight male/female ratio, it's not. My school, GWU, has about 55/45 women/men, which is average in a lot of colleges, but it also has an estimated 10-20% gay male population. Bringing the real ratio down. As a result, there are significantly more straight women than straight men. And that definitely affects how guys here approach dating.

  3. nancy says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 201010:38 am 

    I go to UNC, which is the school this article was based upon. There are 70% girls, 30% guys. I literally do walk to class and think….are there any guys?

    It's not like I didn't have a choice (I chose UNC over more male-populated schools like NCState), but it'd be nice to have some guys here.

  4. westcoastdreamer says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 201010:56 am 

    I say yes. Never in my life have I been more pressed to be the instigator in relationships than here in college. And since I'm all for the guy making the first move…well, let's just say you won't be the only one alone on Valentine's Day.

    I'm at a freaking military college, and even with the cadets and civilians (excuse my lingo) put together, the girls outnumber them all. Are guys just too stupid to get into college?

  5. eliz says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 20103:10 pm 

    haaa loved the reference to the Situation..

  6. Kelly - Simmons Coll says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 20103:58 pm 

    I go to a woman's college and I still meet plenty of boys, but not many dateable ones.

  7. Amy says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 20104:18 pm 

    Being a comm/journalism major really killed my chances. Was lucky to have 2 boys per class and even more lucky if 1 of them was straight! In hindsight I should have majored in finance or econ…

  8. C says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 20104:30 pm 

    My university is a 4:1 Girl to Boy Ratio… brutal. It seriously changes the dating game with a surplus of gorgeous girls.

  9. kaaaahhddn says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 201010:14 pm 

    Yet in the 60s throughout the 80s or so, men took up more space in colleges than women, and they had more "power" then. Now, the ratios are the other way around, and they still have "power."

    also lollin at whining about being the instigator, boohoo

    damn it feels good to be a man

  10. kaaaahhddn says:
    Mon, 8th Feb 201010:20 pm 

    and yes you're bitter

  11. Samantha says:
    Tue, 9th Feb 20103:47 am 

    I go to a school that is known for having lots of very attractive girls — we also have about 10% more girls than guys. So basically any decent guy out there has a sea of gorgeous girls to choose from. I would definitely say that here there are guys that get girls they would never get if the ratio were more balanced.

  12. InternGal says:
    Tue, 9th Feb 20107:15 am 

    @ Nancy: I go to NCSU and while there are more guys than girls, the highest male:female ratio is in the agriculture college (which has mostly 2yr associate programs) so you're less likely to find guys who are the same year/age as you when you're a junior/senior.

    I think having a large, diverse population can override the disadvantages of a a poor male:female ratio. NCSU has ~23,000 undergrads and ~7,000 grad students… meaning that there might be smaller ratios, but the people in those groups are more numerous (i.e. more guys that have interest in a relationship, but also more frat members, more LGBT students, etc). I think this makes the power structure of relationships a little less male dominated, like it makes selection more based on people in your "group" (major, frat/soror, club, etc) than on the college as a whole. If your group is mostly male, women are more choosey and vice-versa.

    I'm a social work major… there's only ONE guy in my graduating class who's also a social work major. But I found other ways to meet guys. My current boyfriend, been going out with him for over a year, I met online. There were plenty of NCSU students using online dating that I had to choose from because we're a huge/giant school.

  13. Ness says:
    Tue, 9th Feb 20107:24 am 

    My school is 7:3 men to women. We still have douche bag guys who can "pick and choose" the girls they want. It also makes for a lot of girls with big heads because they're not used to so much competition. Works both ways, I guess. It's definitely not the real world.

  14. Sarah says:
    Tue, 9th Feb 20109:35 am 

    I can see the argument but I think a lot of the issues with dating in college are simply that the guys and the girls still have a lot of growing up to do. College is a time to be self absorbed, you have the rest of your 20's to date, what's the hurry. Have fun, go on dates but don't get serious!

    Check out this contest http://bit.ly/DateCheckContest. You could win a $1k dream date.

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    Tue, 9th Feb 20104:36 pm 

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  16. Zach says:
    Wed, 17th Feb 201012:10 pm 

    Oh ho ho, not so at tech schools. I've been to two science/engineering colleges and it's exactly the opposite at them– one with a 60:40 guy:girl, and the one I'm at now even worse around 70:30.

    Throw in that most of that 30 is already taken and it really lowers the odds for the male population.

  17. LALA says:
    Wed, 24th Feb 20105:33 pm 

    Here at Purdue,primarily an Engineering/tech/science school, the large male population throws of the balance; I wish there were more girls. Many guys here are either very shy or very douche-baggy…unfortunately, neither group has the most attractive or fun type of guys. I've also noticed that guys don't wanna be friends, they just wanna hook up.

  18. mcastrobunny says:
    Fri, 26th Feb 20109:37 am 

    I went to a high school where there were plenty of pretty girls (and very skinny!), so guys didn't pay that much attention to me. There were a couple of guys who liked me, but that was it. In college (I go Michigan, by the way, and the stereotype about the physical attractiveness of girls does hold some merit), I'm an average-looking girl, but I honestly feel that there are smarter guys here than in HS, so the intelligent pool is up, and a lot of people here are friendly so that goes up too. I'm going to have to say dating in college is better, because I'm with a really great guy, and being average looking when surrounded by some below-average people makes you look a little more appealing. :)

  19. jcassa says:
    Sun, 7th Mar 20101:26 pm 

    I think the ratio does change things up a bit. But, I have to say it also depends on the guys there (as in their background). How were they taught growing up? Were they taught to respect women? Did they have a great father-like role model to look up to? Were they praised for embracing their manhood? Were they encouraged to be competitive?

    I think many guys in are day in age are being scolded by the media and society for just being a guy. They are not allowed to be their own man, and when they do, they get beat down by feminist/ liberal women for doing so. We don't praise men anymore for being the go getter; they always get beat down for taking charge and "being the man." As a result, we have a society of men who are "wussified" and just worthless. We all want a real man, but women also have to see that the breakdown of family and "male reenforcement" makes a big difference in what we see today in men… for God's sake some of them take more time then us to get ready… what is wrong with this picture??

    I met my boyfriend in junior college, and I think that another reason we see more girls than guys is because guys don't think the same way as us women do. Men's brains are wired very differently. For example, women are known for being better writers than men. When the admission reads essays, they are going to pick the ones with good grammar, deep thoughts, and a well put together piece. Therefore, women are more likely to be picked over men when it comes to essays. In general, I think a lot of guys who are not at those universities are the one's who just don't fancy college at all. My boyfriend (who attends University) is a very brilliant person, but he just hates sitting in a classroom and writing notes. So I don't think it is because guys are dumb, school in many cases are not designed to be "men friendly" in they way they operate. If you don't believe me, look at all the successful guys who decided not to go to college, but became very successful (ex: Bill Gates was a college drop out).

  20. College Party says:
    Fri, 23rd Apr 20103:32 am 

    Thank you, for such a clear and comprehensive post. Since I’ve been reading you, I feel I have begun to understand more about this topic. Please keep writing. I just hope people are listening to you and reading you.

  21. Oscar says:
    Fri, 27th Aug 20109:14 am 

    It's not any different the other way around. Not every guy out there is just looking to lay in bed with as many people as possible. I've found it damn near impossible to find anyone in the 3 years i've been at this school. Every girl I've met is either taken, or has kids, which to me is the same as unavailible idc you have kids other priorities and I sure as hell don't wanna deal with your kids. These girls will be real flirty,yet they have a bf, and I figured out why. Someone like me (i'm not a nerd, but i study and go to class every day) who takes good notes and does well is an invaluable asset. So they befriend me, act like I have a chance with them, but it's really so they can cheat off of me or whatever. It's happened time and time again, then I try to talk to them outside of class or something, and it's like they never met me before, and then i figure out they have a bf or whatever, so I stop letting them see my notes and whatever. Sure enough, they stop talking to me at this point.

    It's really frustrating, I was never in the same highschool for very long so i never met anyone then either, I was hoping college would be a better experience, but girls are just as immature as they ever were.

    Every now and then I'll meet a slutty girl who is single, who's just looking to bone everyone, which isn't my thing either. I can't be friends with most guys either, because all they wanna talk about is how loose or tight certain areas of their girl's anatomy are. Guess I'm the only guy like this

  22. Igor says:
    Fri, 3rd Sep 20108:33 am 

    No way. Even if there are more females on campus, this still doesn't change the sexual roles that heterosexual adults college students play in the "mating game." I hate to call it that, but that's what it is.

    In primate societies, including our own, females are most often the selectors in the mating game. Even when there are more females than males, females still get to choose one from the several different males that show attraction to them. This makes perfect sense. Ultimately, it is usually the females who decide when and if sex occurs. And also, being the selectors, this would also explain why females, at least amongst my friends, typically lose their virginity earlier than males.

    Maybe I'm just saying this because I'm a bitter, virgin college guy in his junior year at one of the Big Ten campuses…but you can't deny the effect that our evolutionary roles have on the situation.

  23. StainedGlassEyes says:
    Sun, 28th Nov 20107:31 pm 

    Not at all. It is just a pain in the ass to find like-minded individuals sometimes when it comes to sex and dating. As guys we are in the minority if we don't put "getting some" at the top of our priorities.

  24. domiziano galia says:
    Sun, 13th Nov 20111:01 pm 

    Oscar, girls are not immature, they are selfish. They just want to be pleased and loved. But they are nearly incapable of really loving a man and be devoted. I found just one fabulous girl over hundreds. And she thinks girls are a mess too.

  25. Gloryhunter says:
    Tue, 25th Sep 20128:31 am 

    Turn lesbian then.

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