A Single Girl’s (Tried and True) Guide to Valentine’s Day

On the dreaded day of February 14th, I used to be the cliché girl dressed in all black because I proclaimed Valentine’s Day to be a dumb holiday created by card companies to ruin the institution of love. But really, I was just bitter about that fact that I wouldn’t be receiving a single Valentine’s card, nor did I have anybody to give one to.

My first Valentine’s without a boyfriend, I found myself alone with only Ben & Jerry (and maybe Jose Cuervo) to comfort me. I watched Kate & Leopold. I watched A Walk to Remember. I watched The Notebook. To top it all off, I ate half of my body weight in chocolates that my mother sent me. DE-PRESS-ING.

So after three consecutive Valentine’s Days cursing happy couples and dressing like Marilyn Manson, I figured there had to be a better way to “celebrate” and vowed to never be the bitter, depressing, single girl again. And for the past three years, I have had the happiest and most fun Valentine’s Days ever. And I’ve been single for every single one.

I can truthfully state that, as a single girl, Valentine’s Day is now my third favorite holiday (after Christmas and Super Bowl Sunday, of course).

My other single girl friends (all my single ladies!) and I made a pact to treat Valentine’s Day differently and make it better than the good ‘ol days when we had boyfriends to buy us jewelry and roses. We all spend the day together; we even go out in public (we’re brave) with all the happy couples holding hands and glowing with the aura of young love.

We make our Valentine’s Day special and spend it with people we love – like a traditional Valentine’s Day – we just spice it up with a bit more fun and a lot more estrogen.

First we play Secret Cupid (just like Secret Santa) and each draw a name from a hat, and then buy that person a gift (for under $15). Then on the 14th, we all get gussied up, go out to a fabulous dinner, where we treat ourselves to cocktails and desserts, and reveal our Secret Cupid and hand out the gifts. After, we go see the latest chick flick release that corresponds with the holiday. This year, we can’t wait to see Valentine’s Day and the ensemble cast that includes Taylor Squared. (FYI, Taylor Lautner is finally 18 on February 11th, so we can all be legally attracted to him now!! Unfortch, we still have to wait a little longer on Justin Bieber).

Not only do we benefit from the Valentine’s Day restaurant specials (there are some awesome deals out there!), but we get presents and get incredibly tipsy while having a fabulous time. We’re straight out of a scene from Sex and the City, except not as old and we aren’t trying to sleep with the waiter. Well, most of us….

It’s a drama free night with zero expectations. We don’t have to make declarations of our love to each other (although we do!) and don’t have to have any DTR talks about what stage of the relationship we’re in. But we do get the same benefits that couples get on Valentine ’s Day by spending the holiday with people we love… we just have a different soundtrack. Rather than Marvin Gaye on our iPods to get us in the mood, we blast Beyonce’s song and scream about our singleness.

I am single. I am single. I am single and I love Valentine’s Day, and I am not afraid to say it!



  1. braden says:

    you are the cutest thing ever.

  2. Caroline (your BFFL) says:

    PERFECT IDEA!! Your writing is hysterical! Don't forget about your long distance luva. Hint: She has shared many romantic dinners with you at Country Club of Roswell.

  3. Steph says:

    That may work if you've got friends

  4. aces says:

    hey assholes, just love your adult friendfinder pop ups.

    i really needed my roommates to hear that on my laptop.


  5. Alice says:

    Wow.. That is pretty messed up…

    So instead of actually being proactive you run of into a cave retreat and try to make it sound better?

    If you get a rabbit or another pair of granny panties I know for sure you have cunt blocking my life…

  6. R says:

    kim at stanford… you know nothing about life, love or relationships. try writing this after you've worked in your career for ten years, been married for eight and put on ten pounds due to being comfortable and secure. the real world sweetheart is nothing like you think it is. grow up college ladies… stop making the rest of the female race look stupid. your 'stellar' degree has taught you nothing about the real world except …. how to screw a guy and drink a pint in thirty seconds.

  7. jenny says:

    wow, a few of the above comments above are seriously unnecessary..

    kim, this is adorable and definitely on my agenda for the upcoming holiday of love. after all, i love my girlfriends, why can't i just spend the day celebrating with them?!

    happy valentine's day, all! <3

  8. Kate says:

    Dear R-

    In case you haven't noticed, the web site is entitled, which means the targeted audience is college girls, with. . .here's the shocker. . . a college girl mindset. Being in college is not a time to grow just intellectually, but socially and emotionally as well. I'm sorry if the supposed "real world" made you fat and bitter, but can't you post about that at the Ladie's Home Jornal? Instead of posting on a website specifically geared to college women who are earning a degree, becoming productive members of society, and learning to develope gratifying personal relationships with friends who will love us and play Secret Cupid with us when our boyfriend of 8 years dumps us for gaining weight in favor of a girl that is an easier lay and can beat his 28 second pint-drinking record, because apperantly thats all college girls nowadays are good for.

    Dear Kim:

    This past week I was thinking of what I should do during Valentine's Day this Sunday when I didn't have anyone to spend it with. Now, I'm thinking I will get my friends involved and we could pull a couple of your ideas. Thanks!

    Love Always,

    Kate (Lincoln College)

  9. […] the other hand, I have had some cool Valentine’s Days (mostly without a guy). It’s a good excuse to go out and celebrate being single/coupled and fabulous, […]

  10. Kay says:

    You have GOT to get the book When You Grow Up and Get..Single and start a Chix Chat Club. You will love the book, and the Club will be a hit knowing YOU!

  11. […] A single girl’s (tried and true) guide to Valentine’s Day […]

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