Howard Stern on Idol? Really, FOX?

Over the last decade, reality TV has become infamous for showcasing average nobodies and spotlighting them in their 15 minutes of fame.  Most contestants go on their chosen show to make complete fools of themselves and are forgotten about a few months later when the next bisexual with over 1 million Myspace friends creates her own show looking for “love.”  However, we have always been able to rely on one reality show to produce stars that are extremely successful because they actually have talent.

By Jessica

You guessed it… American Idol.

From the very first season, American Idol was an instant hit.  Kelly Clarkson was the winner, and albums later, she is still a pop sensation.  By the start of season 2, Randy, Paula, and Simon became household names and it was impossible to escape references to these eccentric judges.   Each season the show attracted more and more viewers and had record breaking numbers of votes at each finale.  The economy may suck, the weather is more unpredictable than ever, but the one thing we could always count on as a society was the stability of American Idol.  We knew that no matter what, every Tuesday and Wednesday night, we could tune into FOX to hear Randy give shot-outs to his “dawgs” while Paula applauded each contestant for being unique and “making the song their own.”  And finally, we knew Simon would always be there to knock them right back down in his English accent with a black t-shirt from Baby Gap.

That is… until last season, when things started to change.  A fourth judge? America was reluctant.  Kara Dioguardi climbed on board as America was forced to accept the adjustment.  She was cute and seemed to know what she was talking about, so we gave her the OK.  As long as we still had the Simon and Ryan rivalry to look forward to, one extra judge would not cramp our Idol style. 

Little did we know, even BIGGER changes for this season.  Goodbye to Paula?? Now who are we going to accuse of doing random drugs before (and maybe during) the show?? It was almost more than we could handle.  And then FOX announced that Ellen DeGeneres would be replacing her.  Personally, I was torn.  Ellen is hilarious, that is for sure…but Cold Hearted Snake and Forever Your Girl will ALWAYS be on my iTunes top 25 most played songs; there’s just no replacing Paula.  Putting my own love for the scat cat aside, I accepted the change once again.  After all, Simon, Randy, and Kara would still be able to offer legitimate criticism from the music industry’s stand point, Ellen would just be there for entertainment value.  Even if FOX were just trying to get some rating points, you can’t help but love Ellen.

But then.
Oh God.
I can’t even bear to say it.

Simon announced he was leaving.

And to make matters worse, rumors are now swirling that HOWARD STERN could be taking his place.

[Breathe.]

I don’t even know what to say. This is just taking things too far.  Sorry (well, sorta) to knock the Stern, but what the hell does he know about music and producing it? Probably…nothing.  Sure he may be a radio host, but that does not mean he is qualified for the coveted job.  Especially since the guy hasn’t played music on his show in decades. Besides, no one wants to hear crude and belittling comments if they’re not done in an English accent. Or have nothing to do with music and focus on the singer’s tits and ass instead.

If the rumors are true, I’ve lost whatever faith I had in FOX. It seems that they’re willing to do anything just to boost their ratings, even if it jeopardizes the integrity of the show. (One of the only reality shows left with any…) FOX is making it clear that Idol is all about the ratings and not about the talent, and if that’s the case, why should we watch?

Well, besides to see Kara and Howie duke it out.

Waaaaah (Snooki voice). It seems our once trusted source for music’s newest breakthrough stars might soon fall through the trashy TV cracks and land right next to the ever-so-classy “Temptation Island.” As a long-time Idol addict, I won’t stand for it.