It’s Allergy Season for RPatz

February 15, 2010     Posted in Buzz

"I like dudes...er... I mean, I'm allergic to lady bits."

Ever since Twilight hit the theaters, the world has been looking for signs of a love affair between RPatz and K-Stew. We’ve been looking for photo evidence and waiting for some confirmation from their reps. But maybe what we should have been looking for is an itchy rash around Robert’s mouth?


By Brittany

Recently, RPatz has claimed he is blatantly “allergic” to lady parts. After working with naked women in a racy Details shoot, he revealed, “I really hate vagina’s. I’m allergic to vagina’s.”

Allergic, eh? Kinda like how I used to pretend I was allergic to carrots because I just preferred chocolate cake. Yeah, we’ve all heard that one before, Roberto; you ain’t foolin us. That vagina allergy paired with that perfectly mussed up hair and alleged love affair with a girl who looks eerily similar to a 12-year-old boy is telling a different story.

A story we’ve heard from other well-dressed and perfectly groomed guys in the past:

“What? I like bow ties.”

“OMG, I totally loooove Coldplay, and Taylor Swift is the #1 most-played artist on my iTunes.”

“Do you watch Models of the Runway?”

“I can out-gay this [Perez Hilton] guy right now. I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I ever put on anybody.” (The one and only John C. Mayer.)

“I’m just not a one-night-stand kinda guy.”

Yeah, I’ll give you points for creativity, but I didn’t even need to look at WebMD to know that that’s 100% bullsh*t. Nice try, though.

11 Comments on "It’s Allergy Season for RPatz"

  1. solas says:
    Tue, 16th Feb 20105:01 am 

    A man goes to a doctor and says, Doctor–I just hate vaginas– i think i am allergic to them! To whch the doctor asks, what makes you think you are allergic? To which the man answers, everytime i am near them, i get terribly swollen and feel the need to rub!

    The context of Pattinson's remarks was answering a question on being in a photo shoot with strange (as in, not good friends or even acquaintances)naked women for 12 hours. As a young man raised in England, he subtly referenced this joke well-known to British adolescent boys; as a healthy heterosexual male, he was saying in a gentlemanly way he was affected–'swollen'.

  2. Pattinson's a d says:
    Tue, 16th Feb 20109:36 am 

    So, Pattinson's a douche too. Not as douchey as Douchey McDouchebag (John Mayer), but he has that kind of vibe.

    @solas: So he was implying that he was "swollen". Ewwww, too much information, Rob. Yeah, that "douchebag" label fits.

  3. solas says:
    Tue, 16th Feb 201012:33 pm 

    douche yourself–he was saying in a gentlemanly way that he WAS affected by the women; by not saying it outright he was showing he is NOT a douche.

  4. Reese says:
    Wed, 17th Feb 201012:30 am 

    How could anybody not get that? I read that and started cracking up. I guess somebody should tell Rob that sarcasm doesn't translate into print. :D

  5. solas says:
    Wed, 17th Feb 20104:21 am 

    Reese–or that subtle references don't make it to simple brains.

  6. posyteen says:
    Sun, 7th Mar 20105:34 pm 

    i like his games and often go to dress up games sites to find his games and dress him up.

  7. Ryan Green says:
    Tue, 25th May 20109:11 am 

    Most allergies can be treated by corticosteroids and also some antihistamine blockers.'":

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