The Weekly Ten: John Mayer Isn’t The Worst Guy On Earth
February 15, 2010 Posted in Buzz, Entertainment, HaHa

As I’m sure anyone with an internet connection, mobile phone, or the ability to read knows: John Mayer is a tremendous douche bag. In a recent interview with Playboy, he reminds America (as if his Twitter feed wasn’t proof enough) why he is the most irritating dbag on the planet. I will reiterate douchebag multiple times in this article because I am fairly certain if you check the ingredients on Summer’s Eve, the primary ingredient is John Mayer.
Okay, sure, John Mayer shouts out his exes, claims his cock is a “white supremacist,” will do anything for attention, makes that nasty face when he sings and just generally looks like a grease ball who invented HPV, but certainly there have to be worse guys out there. And there are.
So allow me to list 10 guys who are even more un-dateable than the totally un-dateable Mr. Mayer.
10. Jon Gosselin Michael Lohan?
As a personal pact to myself to not name he-who-shall-not-be-named-ed hardy-ear piercing-hailey-glassman-screwing-child exploiting-a**hole, I will say, ugh, Michael Lohan. Any creepy show biz dads have to be worse than @JohnCMayer.
9. Spencer Pratt
Well thank golly he’s taken by his lovely Barbie, Heidi. Who wouldn’t love a guy so charming with his creepy flesh colored beard and all?
8. The Situation
Pauly D? Yes please. As for The Situation, this old-as-balls washed up Guido can get out. Creep!
7. Dane Cook
If I wanted to be with someone unfunny, obnoxious and sweaty, then he’d be the perfect man. Seriously, can you imagine the arm-flailing this guy would pull in the bedroom? Ugh.
6. Chris Brown
Enough said.
5. Perez Hilton
Now I know he isn’t into girls and I know he hates John Mayer (probably even more than I do), but still, certifiable douche. Leave Miley alone!
4. P.Diddy
No, I do not want to wake up in the morning feeling like I’m a cocky, entitled, untalented a**hole.
3. Kanye West
Although I am totally team Kanye over that devil child T.Swift, I could never date this man. If John Mayer and his egos got into a fight, it would be a tough call, but I’m sure Kanye’s would take a cheap shot and win.
2. Tom Cruise
Dude is just straight up creepy.
1. John Mayer
What can I say? He’s an a**hole AND his music sucks. And seriously? That O face? Ugh.
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Jessica - Hofstra says:
Mon, 15th Feb 20108:41 am
i love John Mayer's music but here are 2 things i loved about this article:
-Spencer's flesh colored beard… died laughing.
-"that devil child T.swift" It's true!
Hermionejh says:
Mon, 15th Feb 20109:54 am
Love it! Thanks for posting!
E says:
Mon, 15th Feb 201012:08 pm
He's not…? – E form EB
elenaramirez says:
Mon, 15th Feb 201012:34 pm
Everyone makes mistakes, we need to learn from those mistakes. And forgive…like the Lord forgives us.
sugar9booger says:
Mon, 15th Feb 20101:32 pm
Amusing list!
giveitasecondlook says:
Mon, 15th Feb 20102:35 pm
I'm sensing from your post that you watch The Soup. Nice post.
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Syd says:
Mon, 15th Feb 20104:10 pm
@elenaramirez: Yes, everyone makes mistakes. NOT everyone is a racist toolbag. He's done this before. He's not a good person.
ccc says:
Mon, 15th Feb 20105:00 pm
yeppp john mayer is a total DOUCHE, but however has amazing music. john mayer is a tool.
J says:
Mon, 15th Feb 20105:39 pm
Are you kidding me?? While this is a very cleverly-written and witty piece, I completely disagree with you about Mayer. I think he's extremely funny — he has a very quirky (albeit it crude) sense of humor!! Wow, of all the people in the world to pick on, in addition to those on your list, I'm baffled about why you think Mayer is a douchebag!
Lee Wesman says:
Mon, 15th Feb 20106:06 pm
I feel like this list is actually backwards. This was hilarious, though. :]
Lucy says:
Tue, 16th Feb 20102:33 pm
HAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh, I TOTALLY 100% agree with your list!
Ben says:
Sat, 20th Feb 20104:26 am
How is K-Fed not on this list? I guess he's fading into obscurity, but he's still a pretty large d-bag.
debi Schefren says:
Sat, 20th Feb 20109:29 am
wow- i couldn't agree with you more, you hit the nail on the head!
especially in regards to kanye and p.diddy…over rated losers!
Jenny says:
Sun, 21st Feb 20105:03 am
If we forgive John Mayer for racial slurs and insulting African American women.(And as a white woman I see how Pop Culture media do not acknowledge African American women) .. 2010 Vanity Fair New Hollywood issue .. OK)
Then
We must forgive Kanye West for the Taylor Swift incident !!!
He's a jerk as well as John Mayer .. BUT ..
Kanye did not insult any race of people.